Desert Island

Speedway

Paddy is washed ashore on a desert island after his boat sinks.
He's stuck there for 10 years barely surviving on what little fish he can catch and any water he can gather when it rains.
He has nearly given up hope when one day he looks out to sea and spies a black speck on the horizon. Getting excited he examines the speck carefully. It seems to be too big to be a bird and too small to be a boat.
The black speck gets closer and closer until its at the edge of the island, Paddy runs to the waters edge to see a diver in a black wet suit emerge from the water.

The diver pulls of its mask to reveal the most stunningly beautiful girl Paddy has seen in his life. Long blonde hair, deep blue eyes and an amazing body. Paddy stares open mouthed until the girls asks "How long have you been living on this island?"
"My god it must be 10 years now" Paddy replies. "and how long is it since you had a cigarette?" "10 years" replies Paddy.

The diver unzips a small little waterproof pocket on the right arm of her wetsuit, pulls out a lighter and cigarette, offers it to Paddy who sparks up and smokes happily. "My god that was wonderful"

how long is it since you had a drink?" she asks "10 years" replies Paddy.

The diver unzips a small little waterproof pocket on the left arm of her wetsuit, pulls out a little flask of whiskey, offers it to Paddy who drinks it down greedily. "That hit the spot alright"

The diver tosses away the flask and slowly starts to unzip the front of her wetsuit looking deep into Paddy's eyes as he starts to get excited
"how long has it been since you've played around?" she enquires

"oh holy sweet mother of god don't tell me you've a set of golf clubs in there!"