The Pregnancy Chat Thread!

cute6guru

nikpmup wrote: »

If you think work are going to be difficult, then arm yourself with all the facts you can about pregnant employees rights before you tell them - I'd say the wagon would back down pretty quickly if she realised you weren't taking any crap and had the facts to back yourself up! It's horrible that you should be putting yourself at risk because your boss is a cow.

I know my hubby cant see why I feel like this but when hes not in the situation its hard to understand. I think I will have to bite the bullet this week and tell her. Dread it but this little one is far more important that a narrow minded person like her. We have a hr manager but being honest he is merely a gofer for her. He tends not to make many decisions a lot of the time and passes us onto herself anyway. So by telling him first Id say he will just pass me onto her.

nikpmup

Definitely tell her - and make sure she does NOT put you working in a section that's unsafe.. Keep note of ANY disparaging remarks she makes to you regarding your pregnancy, or any treatment of you that you feel is unfair, along with times, dates etc. The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them. If she sees that you're serious and know what you're doing, she'll back the hell down.

nikpmup

Also, if you can, bring a trusted colleague in with you to tell her -she might be a bit sweeter if there's a witness!!

cute6guru

nikpmup wrote: »

Also, if you can, bring a trusted colleague in with you to tell her -she might be a bit sweeter if there's a witness!!

You know that crossed my mind about bringing someone in with me but didnt know if it was the done thing. I might bring our union rep in with me as I would both trust him and consider him a friend. That way any snide remarks or comments will be avoided or will be witnessed. Its ridiculous we are made feel like this by a raving lunatic!!! The feeling is mutual around the office though so I will have a lot of support

banbhaaifric

cute6guru wrote: »

You know that crossed my mind about bringing someone in with me but didnt know if it was the done thing. I might bring our union rep in with me as I would both trust him and consider him a friend. That way any snide remarks or comments will be avoided or will be witnessed. Its ridiculous we are made feel like this by a raving lunatic!!! The feeling is mutual around the office though so I will have a lot of support

I'd also put as much as you can in writing. You can tell her face to face, but have a letter prepared also as a formal notification including when you expect to start maternity leave. If you need to request a change in you work situation (for health and safety reasons) put that in writing too. If there is a refusal, write and ask for a written reply. And if there are incidents where you are bullied, write them down too ( you can email yourself or your husband) and try to tell colleagues too. Witnesses are important.

But just be strong in yourself. Citizens Information have lots of info on what you are entitled too (like time off for ante natal visits), so be informed and calm and immoveable!

How Strange

Ask for your job to be risk assessed now that you're pregnant.

banbhaaifric

How Strange wrote: »

Ask for your job to be risk assessed now that you're pregnant.

Here is a link to the Health and Safety Authority website which outlines your employers responsibilities.

http://www.hsa.ie/eng/Archived_Material/Pregnancy_at_Work/

It also gives the names of the other pieces of legislation so you can get researching.

Knowledge is power!!

nikpmup

banbhaaifric wrote: »

Here is a link to the Health and Safety Authority website which outlines your employers responsibilities.

http://www.hsa.ie/eng/Archived_Material/Pregnancy_at_Work/

It also gives the names of the other pieces of legislation so you can get researching.

Knowledge is power!!

Great link, banbhaaifric - I'll be printing that one out. There is a section in it that specifically relates to bullying & stress, under the 'general hazards' that you must be protected from:

What are the main hazard types to which a pregnant or breast feeding employee can be exposed?
The main hazards types are:

General hazards
Hazards specific to pregnancy
Hazards specific to breast feeding
Explain general hazards?
General hazards include;

Physical shocks including direct blows to the abdomen
Vibration of the whole body, there are guidelines on vibration on the web site
Handling loads, there are guidelines on handling of loads on the web site
Noise,there are guidelines on noise on the web site
Excessive heat or cold
Movement and postures which are abrupt or severe or give rise to excessive fatigue
Ionising radiation
Non ionising radiation
Biological agents
Chemicals, there are guidelines on chemicals on the web site
Stress and bullying, there are guidelines on stress and bullying on the web site


I particularly like the bit that says an employer must provide somewhere for the pregnant employee to lie down! I'll be taking advantage of that one!!

McBubbles

Hi, hoping someone can offer some advice. I have a job interview at the end of the week and I do not know whether or not to mention I am 13 weeks pregnant in the interview. In one way I don't want to be dishonest or mislead anyone but I also don't want the fact that I am pregnant to be a black mark against me ( I know this is illegal but how could you prove it)

Das Kitty

McBubbles wrote: »

Hi, hoping someone can offer some advice. I have a job interview at the end of the week and I do not know whether or not to mention I am 13 weeks pregnant in the interview. In one way I don't want to be dishonest or mislead anyone but I also don't want the fact that I am pregnant to be a black mark against me ( I know this is illegal but how could you prove it)

I'd only mention it if it came up explicitly in the interview. Then if I were offered the position, I'd bring it up when I went to sign the contract.

cute6guru

McBubbles wrote: »

Hi, hoping someone can offer some advice. I have a job interview at the end of the week and I do not know whether or not to mention I am 13 weeks pregnant in the interview. In one way I don't want to be dishonest or mislead anyone but I also don't want the fact that I am pregnant to be a black mark against me ( I know this is illegal but how could you prove it)

Id say nothing then if u get the job id let them know. Congrats hope you've not been too sick!

Tigeress

Did Yellow Hen have her baby?

yellow hen

Tigeress wrote: »

Did Yellow Hen have her baby?

Tada........I'm here! Tigeress I had a little boy last Monday week. Went into labour myself at 3am on the Sunday morn and our little man was born at 4am on Monday morn at 7lb 10. I'm so in love with him.... He's such a little dude already

annettea

cute6guru wrote: »

To be honest Ive been put off telling them as my boss is a total horrible wagon to put it mildly. Another girl waited until she was 20weeks last month to tell her and she wasnt very nice about it. I know I shouldnt give a crap what this woman thinks I have this argument with myself daily!! But when I decide to do it I chicken out!

Hiya, I started working when I was 13 weeks pregnant and I was petrified to tell them I was pregnant I told them at 15 weeks my heart was literally in my mouth but I got a big hug, on maternity leave now but they were fantastic. Maybe the boss wasn't happy the girl left it a bit late to tell her. At the end of the day your carrying a little miracle and wat can she say to that. tell her you need to mind u and baby now its not as bad as what you may think tell her tomorrow shell have the long weekend to get over it, this time next week you'll be in a better situation x

Tigeress

yellow hen wrote: »

Tada........I'm here! Tigeress I had a little boy last Monday week. Went into labour myself at 3am on the Sunday morn and our little man was born at 4am on Monday morn at 7lb 10. I'm so in love with him.... He's such a little dude already

Yey that's great news huge congrats! Del to hear everything went well!

MurdyWurdy

Pregnancy is feeling very long - have another 14 weeks to go.My husband is so broody, he's starting looking longingly at babies when we're out and about, he just keeps saying he can't wait for the baby to get here. I told him I'm cooking this one as fast as I can!

Really hope the next 14 weeks go quickly, I'm trying to enjoy the peace before the madness descends but I'm getting really impatient Anyone else feeling the same?!

Synyster Shadow

I thought 12 weeks left was bad I'm brutal impatient now and there's only 3 weeks left! It gets longer as time goes on. I'm hitting the anxious faze now I'm just longing for baby here safe. Hubby has hit his excitement faze big time specially now the bags packed and all in car for the off including car seat. It's more real for him now

holding

I hear ya Synyster Shadow! Totally sick of being pregnant, would like my own body back (and be able to bend over and pick things up, or put my own socks on!), also really really want to meet my new little man

Synyster Shadow

Yeah the simple things ya miss like gettin out of a bath is dodgy on my own. Socks boots and some trousers that are tight at bottom. Be nice to sleep on the belly again :-) took months to get out of that habit like the 4th month I stopped had to at that stage

Sittingpretty

Seriously laydees, enjoy the time you have left. It might sound trite and cliched and I don't know why I'm advising it because you won't truly know what I mean till you have your baby and it's a luxury to get a shower, and then you'll go "Ahhhhhhhhhh, that's what everyone meant"

dublinlady

I have a 13 month old and am due in just over 6 weeks....
I alternate between wanting the baby out immediately to wanting to put off it arrival for another couple months!
Right now I'm so uncomfortable I can't imagine another 6 weeks, I'm also so tired that I may as well have a newborn cos not getting any sleep anyway so at the moment life with a newborn would be easier than what's going on now!

I only had my last baby last feb and I swear natures amazing at making u forget the discomfort!! I really don't remember it being this hard last time!! Although that could be the toddler sitting on my bump....!!

Fair play to u guys with just 3 weeks left - I can only imagine how ye feeling but hang in there your getting close!!!

Synyster Shadow

Fair play to you dublinlady you have a toddler and your pregnant. Don't know how I'd manage that been pregnant is enough to handle.

MurdyWurdy

Glad I'm not the only one getting impatient although you have a lot less to go so who knows how bad I'll be when I get to your stage! I'm sure the next 3 months will go pretty quickly and afterwards I'll look back and miss the days of sleeping as much as I want!

dublinlady

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

Fair play to you dublinlady you have a toddler and your pregnant. Don't know how I'd manage that been pregnant is enough to handle.

If only she would toddle hoping to get her walking before this arrival!

Trying not to complain cos I'm delighted they'll be so close really - and don't think this pregnancy has been any harder than last time other than the last week - from now on I might struggle...!! But otherwise I'd hugely recommend it so ye have 4 months to recover before next one ladies !!

yellow hen

dublinlady wrote: »

If only she would toddle hoping to get her walking before this arrival!

Trying not to complain cos I'm delighted they'll be so close really - and don't think this pregnancy has been any harder than last time other than the last week - from now on I might struggle...!! But otherwise I'd hugely recommend it so ye have 4 months to recover before next one ladies !!

Omg.... 4 months... I don't think I'd have the energy to think about sex!!!!

dublinlady

yellow hen wrote: »

Omg.... 4 months... I don't think I'd have the energy to think about sex!!!!

It's amazing what happens when they start to sleep a little..... Your so smitten and then the hormones takeover.... They say not to make any big decisions within 9 months of having a baby.... I'm so sticking to that this time!!!! Haha! :eek:

Synyster Shadow

My hubby is on baby number 3 in his head already he'd love me to have another within a year and half. If he buys me wine and hands me a glass then I'll know he's up to somethin or else he has it spiked haha!!! I'm only half joking ;-)

dublinlady

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

My hubby is on baby number 3 in his head already he'd love me to have another within a year and half. If he buys me wine and hands me a glass then I'll know he's up to somethin or else he has it spiked haha!!! I'm only half joking ;-)

Haha! Always seems a good idea at the time!! Altho was me who was guilty this time!! Herself was / is so adorable he didn't take much convincing!!

Tell ya what tho... I'm dying for a few good nights out!!!!!

Synyster Shadow

Once you have a good support network am sure you'll get one or two nights out! I just want one night of not been kicked in ribs and hubby do night feeds..!

One can hope

wolfpawnat

Sometimes I feel the 4 and a half years between my two is a good idea. I had the time to give to no.1 all the attention he needed. But still it's probably nice to have them closer, because 4 years seems a lot too. Will they be close? Or will no.2 just be annoying it's older brother. Ah, stupid worries. I am just over half way and equal parts "will you just get here" and "can I delay it for another lil bit"