The Pregnancy Chat Thread!

Millem

kaza2710 wrote: »

Ha well yes I think the pain part is total denial!

But the most of it is very positive and empowering. Although this is coming from a woman with the lowest pain threshold possible so I might be screaming a different tune when the time comes :rolleyes:

For that reason I can't take the article seriously!!! And the whole you only have to push it 5 inches lark! Well it might as well be 5 miles! Because that too is very hard work!! And you are more than likely so wrecked because a) you haven't been sleeping great because you are soooo preggers and b) you have been in labour for 20 odd hours and have been puking etc and are just sooo drained. Maybe if you get an epidural the thing might be easier?

Ms2011

Neyite wrote: »

A traumatic birth can lead to PTSD and PND, neither of which I'd particularly relish when getting to grips with a newborn, breastfeeding and sleep deprivation.

Is it so wrong for us to want a birth outcome that is a little more pleasant than 'shure, its not like you died or anything'

Why cant we be given the time to let our bodies and our babies do what needs to be done instead of rushing the process because it suits nursing rosters?

^^^Amen to that!!!

madeinamerica

Millem wrote: »

For that reason I can't take the article seriously!!! And the whole you only have to push it 5 inches lark! Well it might as well be 5 miles! Because that too is very hard work!! And you are more than likely so wrecked because a) you haven't been sleeping great because you are soooo preggers and b) you have been in labour for 20 odd hours and have been puking etc and are just sooo drained. Maybe if you get an epidural the thing might be easier?

Some of the points are nice but it seems to have dumbed down the process. Perhaps approaching it like that works for some.

I do like the inclusion of the point about the mother's good bacteria getting passed on to the baby, something you don't hear about too often but has some good research to back it up.

Sligo1

Millem wrote: »

I had to laugh about it saying there was no pain. I reckon the author had never been in labour! I would consider myself to have a high pain threshold and dear lord it was a form of torture. The most painful thing was the contractions that in my case lasted over 21 hours

Lols... I found up to 8cm with no pain relief fine... But then when I got to 10cm with no pain relief I think I blacked out!! I remember asking the nurse if I had died!!??? She told me i wasnt dead and to start pushing! Hahahaha

madeinamerica

Sligo1 wrote: »

Lols... I found up to 8cm with no pain relief fine... But then when I got to 10cm with no pain relief I think I blacked out!! I remember asking the nurse if I had died!!??? She told me i wasnt dead and to start pushing! Hahahaha

Ha! tough love there!

Millem

Sligo1 wrote: »

Lols... I found up to 8cm with no pain relief fine... But then when I got to 10cm with no pain relief I think I blacked out!! I remember asking the nurse if I had died!!??? She told me i wasnt dead and to start pushing! Hahahaha

I am hoping second time around it's not as painful I didn't get any pain relief but I swear if I am allowed to get some next time I am 100% taking.

Sligo1

Millem wrote: »

I am hoping second time around it's not as painful I didn't get any pain relief but I swear if I am allowed to get some next time I am 100% taking.

I found my second less painful than my first. But that could also be due to me no being as anxious or panicky etc...

Millem

Sligo1 wrote: »

I found my second less painful than my first. But that could also be due to me no being as anxious or panicky etc...

I can totally see how you thought how you were dead!!!! Lol :D

cbyrd

I'm heading for the 5th birth and I swear I'd prefer not to know what I'm in for :pac:

Whispered

*leaves thread*

*cries*

:pac:

Synyster Shadow

Whispered if it makes you feel any better I found my first easiest in terms of pain I could handle.. Just I got a ****ty night for giving birth

Everyone handles it differently and there's so many options when your there

I had two fast deliveries and didn't have too many options I just didn't like gas and air but I got through so anyone can... Your a woman! We run this world

Sligo1

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

Whispered if it makes you feel any better I found my first easiest in terms of pain I could handle.. Just I got a ****ty night for giving birth

Everyone handles it differently and there's so many options when your there

I had two fast deliveries and didn't have too many options I just didn't like gas and air but I got through so anyone can... Your a woman! We run this world

I had an epidural when I reached 5m with my first. Great stuff altogether! Didnt feel a thing and was up brushing my hair just before I found out I was 10cm! . It was the first 5cm without the epi I found tough. On my second it was grand.

mirrorwall14

Freaking out this week about breast feeding. I'm well endowed so everyone seems to just assume I will (except my parents funnily enough!). I initially was like ya, I'm happy to give it a go. However a friend of mine gave birth a while back and has literally had an awful time with it (turned out after several weeks the baby had a tongue tie). I'm so scared about it now, it's an incredible amount of pressure and seems to take hours and hours on end particularly if they are cluster feeding. I just don't know what to think

bobskii

The way I see it is you can give it a go and if it doesn't work out don't beat yourself up about it . That's my plan and I really don't know if I'm gonna be able but ill try!
If you want to do it give it a go bit don't worry yourself about it!

Jerrica

mirrorwall14 wrote: »

Freaking out this week about breast feeding. I'm well endowed so everyone seems to just assume I will (except my parents funnily enough!). I initially was like ya, I'm happy to give it a go. However a friend of mine gave birth a while back and has literally had an awful time with it (turned out after several weeks the baby had a tongue tie). I'm so scared about it now, it's an incredible amount of pressure and seems to take hours and hours on end particularly if they are cluster feeding. I just don't know what to think

It *is* tough to be honest I'm typing this with my ten day old lying asleep across my belly after spending the last hour and a half comfort sucking, and my poor nipples are feeling pretty tender. I've found the breastfeeding journey so far both extremely rewarding and incredibly draining, but it gets easier by the day. I would strongly strongly encourage linking in with a local Ciudiu or La Leche League group before you give birth, you'll need a support system around you when you start breastfeeding - we spend our adult lives with boobs attached to us but we've no manual teaching us how to use them. I absolutely would have given up by now if it weren't for Ciudiu and a lactation consultant showing me where things were going wrong.

But it's also a deeply personal choice, so make the one that's right for you, whatever that may be

Penny Dreadful

mirrorwall14 wrote: »

Freaking out this week about breast feeding. I'm well endowed so everyone seems to just assume I will (except my parents funnily enough!). I initially was like ya, I'm happy to give it a go. However a friend of mine gave birth a while back and has literally had an awful time with it (turned out after several weeks the baby had a tongue tie). I'm so scared about it now, it's an incredible amount of pressure and seems to take hours and hours on end particularly if they are cluster feeding. I just don't know what to think

Me too! I'd like to be able to do it and to enjoy it but I'm also thinking its so much hard work and at 32 weeks pregnant a lot of things seem like hard work these days.
The idea of long drawn out cluster feeds seems terribly un appealing right now.

bobskii wrote: »

The way I see it is you can give it a go and if it doesn't work out don't beat yourself up about it . That's my plan and I really don't know if I'm gonna be able but ill try!
If you want to do it give it a go bit don't worry yourself about it!

Plus one to this. Lots of people bottle feed and have perfectly healthy happy babies. Of all the things that we can do to / for our little ones feeling guilty about opting for one feeding method over another shouldn't even feature.

Ms2011

My attitude to both giving birthing & breast feeding this time round is to just go with the flow.
I had a v.definate idea last time about how things would go & the reality couldn't have been more different. At the end of the day I will be doing what's best for me, baby & the rest of my family, no one can do anymore than that.

Neyite

mirrorwall14 wrote: »

Freaking out this week about breast feeding. I'm well endowed so everyone seems to just assume I will (except my parents funnily enough!). I initially was like ya, I'm happy to give it a go. However a friend of mine gave birth a while back and has literally had an awful time with it (turned out after several weeks the baby had a tongue tie). I'm so scared about it now, it's an incredible amount of pressure and seems to take hours and hours on end particularly if they are cluster feeding. I just don't know what to think

Dont be scared, honestly. If you choose not to breastfeed, your baby will still get nourished and grow big and strong on formula. If you choose to give it a go, then give it your best shot, but if it gets too much, switch to formula and let yourself off the hook. Happy Mammy = Happy baby.

For what its worth, I decided I'd give it a go but if it didnt work out, I figured the baby would have got the colustrum anyway and I'd switch and not feel guilty.

But apart from one single evening, for me breastfeeding turned out to be a dream. I had nipple tenderness the first few days, used lots of lanisoh, and they toughened up. I used an old wives trick in pregnancy to prepare but apparently it isnt recommended now though, but I'd do it again because I thought that was what helped me.

Penny Dreadful

Neyite wrote: »

Dont be scared, honestly. If you choose not to breastfeed, your baby will still get nourished and grow big and strong on formula. If you choose to give it a go, then give it your best shot, but if it gets too much, switch to formula and let yourself off the hook. Happy Mammy = Happy baby.

For what its worth, I decided I'd give it a go but if it didnt work out, I figured the baby would have got the colustrum anyway and I'd switch and not feel guilty.

But apart from one single evening, for me breastfeeding turned out to be a dream. I had nipple tenderness the first few days, used lots of lanisoh, and they toughened up. I used an old wives trick in pregnancy to prepare but apparently it isnt recommended now though, but I'd do it again because I thought that was what helped me.

I have to ask what the old wives trick is/ was?

Neyite

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

I have to ask what the old wives trick is/ was?

Using a facecloth in every shower briskly on your nipples to toughen them up during pregnancy. It was softly-softly at first as they were very tender probably from the hormones, but I reckon it helped me. It was a tip given by someone who'd breastfed all her children.

Now by brisk I mean, you dont hurt yourself scrubbing them - you would be using the same pressure /rubbing you'd use on your face, or rest of your boobs using a soft facecloth.

Like I say, I remember suggesting it on here before, and got told by someone that it was not recommended by health care professionals, but for me, I think HCP advice can be a bit hit and miss and you sometimes have to go with what you feel is right.

I just felt myself, that they are very tender body parts that for the last few decades have been unused and protected so are very delicate, then all of a sudden they are in constant use, no wonder they'll get sore. But if they are a little more used to contact beforehand, it desensitises them?

Penny Dreadful

Neyite wrote: »

Using a facecloth in every shower briskly on your nipples to toughen them up during pregnancy. It was softly-softly at first as they were very tender probably from the hormones, but I reckon it helped me. It was a tip given by someone who'd breastfed all her children.

Now by brisk I mean, you dont hurt yourself scrubbing them - you would be using the same pressure /rubbing you'd use on your face, or rest of your boobs using a soft facecloth.

Like I say, I remember suggesting it on here before, and got told by someone that it was not recommended by health care professionals, but for me, I think HCP advice can be a bit hit and miss and you sometimes have to go with what you feel is right.

I just felt myself, that they are very tender body parts that for the last few decades have been unused and protected so are very delicate, then all of a sudden they are in constant use, no wonder they'll get sore. But if they are a little more used to contact beforehand, it desensitises them?

That makes sense to me.

My sister and friend both breastfed their children and overall had a positive experience with it and so I would like to do it.
However, in the last week or so (as the pregnancy progresses and the reality about many things is kicking in and the hormones are running riot again:o) I've started to get a bit scared about it.
Both of these women said that at the start it was like either acid being poured on their nipples or someone sucking broken glass through them but that once that passed they were so glad that they stuck with it. My friend's baby is 10 months old now and she said that she now was missing the feeding as her little girl is being weaned.
I love the idea of the closeness of breastfeeding, the convienience of it too for the night time feeds and when out and about in addition to all of the known health benefits.
I am worried about the thoughts of being so drained with lots of cluster feeding, not being sure how much the baby is getting to eat and being so wiped out that I won't get to enjoy the other aspects of being a new Mammy.
I also want my husband to be able to be involved in the feeding aspect of the baby too. Expressing doesn't appeal to me at all and it doesn't work well for everyone either. I remember my Dad saying that one of the nicest things he remembers of all of us when we were babies was giving us our bottles. He said the quiet time with just him and the baby was so lovely that I really would like my husband to be able to experience that with our little one too. He is so excited about the baby and has been so supportive through everything that I would like him to be able to have something good and lovely like this.

I suppose there is only one way to know how it will work out and that is to give it a go! Maybe it will be super fabulous and I'll be one of those women who gets involved in extra ordinary breast feeding:D

Neyite

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

That makes sense to me.

My sister and friend both breastfed their children and overall had a positive experience with it and so I would like to do it.
However, in the last week or so (as the pregnancy progresses and the reality about many things is kicking in and the hormones are running riot again:o) I've started to get a bit scared about it.
Both of these women said that at the start it was like either acid being poured on their nipples or someone sucking broken glass through them but that once that passed they were so glad that they stuck with it. My friend's baby is 10 months old now and she said that she now was missing the feeding as her little girl is being weaned.
I love the idea of the closeness of breastfeeding, the convienience of it too for the night time feeds and when out and about in addition to all of the known health benefits.
I am worried about the thoughts of being so drained with lots of cluster feeding, not being sure how much the baby is getting to eat and being so wiped out that I won't get to enjoy the other aspects of being a new Mammy.
I also want my husband to be able to be involved in the feeding aspect of the baby too. Expressing doesn't appeal to me at all and it doesn't work well for everyone either. I remember my Dad saying that one of the nicest things he remembers of all of us when we were babies was giving us our bottles. He said the quiet time with just him and the baby was so lovely that I really would like my husband to be able to experience that with our little one too. He is so excited about the baby and has been so supportive through everything that I would like him to be able to have something good and lovely like this.

I suppose there is only one way to know how it will work out and that is to give it a go! Maybe it will be super fabulous and I'll be one of those women who gets involved in extra ordinary breast feeding:D

I never had that kind of pain. I got tender in the first week, and one got a bit sore, but never that kind of pain. If I did, that child would have been bottle fed. At the first twinge though - lanisoh!

From 3 months, the bedtime feed was a formula bottle which dad did. It meant that he got some time on his own with baby in that tiny window between coming home from work and baby going to sleep. And I could take off for a roasting hot shower without an ear stuck to the monitor.

It meant that if for any reason I wasnt around (hit by a bus or out on the town) baby was used to the taste of the milk and feel of the bottles and wouldnt have a feeding strike.

With the cluster feeding, take to the bed, snuggle up and snooze whenever the baby does. If you are not getting sleep, at least you are resting somewhat. Ignore housework and let partner fetch you cuppas and food.

Early on, make your partner the burping expert, that way you can feed, handover and let him walk the floors while you snooze. I'll be doing that the next time. Its sometimes the burping that takes ages, not the feed itself.

With regard to knowing how much they are eating, as long as baby is slowly gaining weight, has wet nappies, then they are getting enough - they are not shy in letting you know when they are hungry

Play it by ear, give it your best shot if you want, but dont judge yourself harshly if you decide its too much for you. You are a mum no matter what way your child gets nourishment.

Ms2011

What I'm afraid of this time round with breast feeding ( & a new baby in general ) is how to juggle a 3 yr old ( who is used to getting my undivided attention) & a newborn feeding on demand. Hubby will be back to work after a week, my son will need to be fed, dressed & gotten to Montessori 3 mornings a week & what if I end up having another section....if I think about it for too long I start to panic:P

fall

Great advice Neyite, especially with the cluster feeding. I overall had a good experience breast feeding but I tried to do too much when he went through growth spurts. I will definitely down tools and just feed this time all going well.
Ms2011, Is there any way your husband can do the morning drop with your three year old? Or is there someone near by? I am paying to have my little boy dropped to school when I go to work and I am going to continue this for the first few months with the baby. It's around €25 a week. My friend did this with her second and she used to text me on lunch at half twelve every day when she got up with baby! The baby would feed and then sleep and she would sleep too. It meant she had way more energy for her first when he got home. Might not work for you but just a suggestion.

Karmella

I'm going to be in a similar situation re getting the older one to preschool. I guess I was kinda thinking I'd get him up and drop him over (in fairness its only around the corner) and then come home and go back to bed with baby and chill for the few hours until he's home. When he was a baby I didn't get out of bed before noon anyday! But hopefully new baby's feeding times will work out so that we'll have a break for the 30-40 minutes it'll take to get the older fella sorted....

I hadn't really thought it through, ooops!! I'm planning to leave him full time in the crèche for September and maybe October if I'm struggling, but after that he'll just be in there mornings for Montessori.

Penny Dreadful

Neyite wrote: »

I never had that kind of pain. I got tender in the first week, and one got a bit sore, but never that kind of pain. If I did, that child would have been bottle fed. At the first twinge though - lanisoh!

From 3 months, the bedtime feed was a formula bottle which dad did. It meant that he got some time on his own with baby in that tiny window between coming home from work and baby going to sleep. And I could take off for a roasting hot shower without an ear stuck to the monitor.

It meant that if for any reason I wasnt around (hit by a bus or out on the town) baby was used to the taste of the milk and feel of the bottles and wouldnt have a feeding strike.

With the cluster feeding, take to the bed, snuggle up and snooze whenever the baby does. If you are not getting sleep, at least you are resting somewhat. Ignore housework and let partner fetch you cuppas and food.

Early on, make your partner the burping expert, that way you can feed, handover and let him walk the floors while you snooze. I'll be doing that the next time. Its sometimes the burping that takes ages, not the feed itself.

With regard to knowing how much they are eating, as long as baby is slowly gaining weight, has wet nappies, then they are getting enough - they are not shy in letting you know when they are hungry

Play it by ear, give it your best shot if you want, but dont judge yourself harshly if you decide its too much for you. You are a mum no matter what way your child gets nourishment.

Sounds like good advice thank you.

Re: the pain element- I'm with you on that. Its not like anyone is going to reward you with extra maternity leave or such like for enduring such a level of discomfort is it? While I don't disagree that breast milk is natural and great and all that stuff I also think that we (as in my siblings) were all formula fed and are fine fit and healthy human beings.
I think I'll give it a go and see how it works out. It might be fantastic or it might be a disaster - only trying it out will help me know.

Ms2011

Hubby starts work at 6am so too early to dropy son off. Worst comes to the worst my sister lives around the corner, she works a few hours in the morning starting a 9am but it's flexible so she could drop my son off to Montessori for 9am & be in her job for 9:15 & collect him on the way home maybe for a forthnight while I get sorted.
It's alot to ask of her but I know she'd do it if I was stuck as we always help each other out if one of us stuck collecting or dropping off one of our kids, thank God for family, I don't know how people manage without them!!

fall

That could be an option. Even if she could just do the mornings for a while. I am due in January and just dreaded the thoughts of putting a newborn in a pram on the cold dark mornings. My husband takes the car to work so he can drop my son to the crèche. I know this will help me cope with the sleep less nights. The one thing I learnt from the first time round is to mind yourself too. I will be a happier mam, wife and woman with that little bit of stress taken care of.

Sligo1

Ms2011 wrote: »

What I'm afraid of this time round with breast feeding ( & a new baby in general ) is how to juggle a 3 yr old ( who is used to getting my undivided attention) & a newborn feeding on demand. Hubby will be back to work after a week, my son will need to be fed, dressed & gotten to Montessori 3 mornings a week & what if I end up having another section....if I think about it for too long I start to panic:P

Ms2011 is bloody tough! But it can be done. I'm exclusively breastfeeding my 5 month old whilst trying to watch my 20 month old 24/7. I wish wish wish he was old enough for play school! I'm wrecked with it. The breastfeeding and baby are actually fine if I'm honest. It's watching and entertaining my toddler that's exhausting! I'm lucky tho in that my husband doesn't start work till 9 so in the morning he will get up at 8 with toddler and sort him and put him into his playpen when he goes to work at 8.50am. While hisband is with toddler I change and feed little miss then express a bottle. Brush my teeth Then I come down stairs and that's when I find I'm running around like a loon until husband gets home at 6. If my husband didnt sort my toddler from 8-9am it would be very very hard!! Is it bad that actually looking forward to when my little guy starts play school in a year so I might get a couple hours to myself or just to have to look after 1 baby!?

Sligo1

O and can I also add... You need to do what works for you. There's no right or wrong with breast vs formula! What's right is that there is a happy mum and a happy baby at the end of it! I had the rage today and felt like crying with it all. But big deep breath and chat to my friend and I'm fine again. Going out tomorrow night tho to let lose... I need to feel human again!