Fear/phobia about driving

banchang

'I have a friend' who has a fear of driving but needs to conquer it badly, to

- move the kids around
- get to & from work efficiently
- survive in Dublin today etc

Unless this is addressed life will be v difficult

Any advice on where he might go ?:(

littlejukka

why does your friend not like driving?

TwoShedsJackson

http://www.schoolofmotoring.ie/parkschoolofmotoring/Main/Home.htm

One of the instructors here, Paul, does a fair bit of work with helping people who are unusually nervous about driving.

banchang

littlejukka wrote: »

why does your friend not like driving?

As I explain, he has a phobia - afraid of oncoming traffic, afraid of hitting someone - not logical I know, but its like claustrophobia, why does someone not like being in confined spaces ?

Nightwish

Hey I'm in the same boat. I am petrified of driving. I have my first lesson at 9am tomorrow morning. I have eased myself into it by driving around a few car parks and the like.

banchang

thanks Nightwish but I'm afraid its a bit more than that - have tried all of that - no popint spending any more money on lessons - lessons & practice don't help a phobia

Nightwish

I started a similar thread here a few months ago. I bought a car in August, yet I was too afraid to even get into it. Even up to this week I am still walking the 5 mile round trip to work every morning and evening, as I am too afraid to drive. I took lessons 5 years ago and used to throw up with the fear both before and after the lesson. I had a meltdown in a lesson where I burst into tears and refused to drive the car. My fear wa made worse when my ever patient instructor had a heart attack and died an hour after my last lesson. I vowed never to drive again. As you can see, I totally do understand how you feel.
Back to the car any how. The battery was dead when I finally convinced myself to do something about driving it. I began by going around a car park at 10 km/hour. It was a start! Then I progressed onto a bigger car park where I could go up to 3rd gear - again a huge step for me. When it came to going on the road though, I still shake with fear. I didnt sleep a wink last night thinking about my lesson. I was up at 6 am I was so nervous. It was my first lesson since my instructor died so it was understandable. Again, I just took the plunge, and trusted my instructor. I ignored the traffic around me (but obviously kept my awareness) and trusted my instructor to use his pedals if needed. I was really really nervous when I knew I was coming to a busy roundabout and I stalled a bit but it was ok. No damage done! At the end of the lesson I was told he didnt have to use the pedals once. Its all about confidence building. I am still afraid, very much so, but once I know I have confidence in myself to control the car, I know I'll be ok.

Sorry for rambling a bit but I am in the exact same boat as yourself. I thought I was the only one with a pathological fear of driving! I just want to tell you my story of how I am making the effort to get over it. It can be done, and I hope in a few months time you can look back on this thread and laugh at it, and I hope I can too!

Goldenquick

I have a similar fear of driving. I took 3 lessons but used to think about it all morning, (I had the lessons in the afternoon), I couldn't eat, couldn't work, couldn't even drink water in case I would throw it up. I used to ring up the instructor and make excuses about why I couldn't make it that day, in the end she got fed up with me and didn't bother coming back, not that I blame her!!

I'm always afraid that I won't be able to stop the car in time, won't get out of a junction fast enough, (country roads here) and a car will hit the one I'm in. I used to shake so much before and after the lessons it was awful, I'd get so bad I could hardly breath.

Actually if someone was telling me this, I'd advise them to stay off the roads, so I think I will

With the new laws coming in next week anyway, I'll never be on the roads!!

ang

I have a fear of driving too, I am so nervous in the car. This new rule is stupid. I will never conquer my fears now coz I won't be able to practice. I cant afford to get lessons all the time just to get some practice in! I will never be on the road at this stage.

SMM

Hi,
I had a real fear of driving in the beginning. I just wasn't comfortable with the amount of power you have in a car and when you're not the most confident driver, it feels very dangerous. I was particularly fearful of the fact that a momentary mistake (maybe small) could easily cost you your life or someone elses. I know it might seem a bit melodramatic, but it does happen all the time. In order to overcome this, I made sure to initially plan my routes carefully, to ensure I was in the right lanes at right times, etc. Over time, I really learned from experience and am very confident to drive anywhere. I think its very important to remember that we as motorists all make mistakes at the beginning, but the key is to always respect the power you have driving in a car and to LEARN from your mistakes. Well thats been my experience anyway, hopefully its useful advice

redtom

I have a phobia just about doing tests - drivin around no problem whatsoever, any conditions, wet, dry, fog, whatever, any location from heavy city traffic to cruisin on dual carriageways, no problem. Soon as a guy sits down beside me with a sheet for markin me - all out the window, stupid mistakes that i've never done while driving normally, and that's why i've failed 3 tests in the last year... got another test on monday - here we go again...

Gregor Samsa

Goldenquick wrote: »

With the new laws coming in next week anyway, I'll never be on the roads!!

ang wrote: »

This new rule is stupid. I will never conquer my fears now coz I won't be able to practice.

With all due respect to you both, do you really think it would be safe or wise to have people who are that nervous driving unaccompanied on the roads?

The accompaniment rules (they are not 'new' by the way, it has always been unlawful to drive unaccompanied on a first, third or subsequent provisional), are in place precisely to allow people in your situation to practice on the roads, while giving you (and other road users) the security of knowing that if you get into a sticky situation, you have someone there to help you out of it - either with advice or by taking over.

The best way to overcome fear of driving is to get lessons with a competent and understanding professional driving instructor, and then move on to supervised practice with an suitable understanding friend or relative. The "accompaniment rule" is actually there to help you!

You need to force yourself to take the lessons. Book and pay for a group of them in advance - maybe even tell the instructor that you get nervous and may try cancelling at short notice with some excuse, so he/she can maybe talk you out of cancelling if you try.

The nerves will pass with practice. All the things you have to concentrate on so much now (gear changes, road position, observation) will become second nature to you. Think about a particularly incompetent or stupid person you know who drives regularly. If they can do it, there's no reason you can't too.