Comedians that suck

cxcully

JayoCluxton wrote: »

Think Lee Evans fancies himself as a young Norman Wisdom though imo he is living proof of Darwin's theory. He was no 23 in the Top 100 Comedains on C4 (shown over Xmas) - must've spent a fcuking fortune on texts.

Btw Jo Brand was No 22 with Johnny Vegas at 43, Freddie Starr at 81 and Ardal at 94 - go figure! Mind you, you can move Freddie and Ardal up a notch cos Mike Reid was at 67.

Incidentally Russell Brand was at number 69 which kinda suits a guy who doesn't seem to know which end of him is up!

Bring back Tommy Cooper a la

"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. "
"Is it common? "
"It's not unusual."

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"

"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
"Well you can't say fairer than that then"

Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!

So I went to the dentist.
He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He said "My dog's died.'"

"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said
'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said 'You are.'"

So I rang up my local swimming baths.
I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?'
He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"

"So I rang up a local building firm,
I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'
He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Class!!!!!!!!

Thanks JayoCluxton.......so,so funny.Tears streaming down my face this Saturday morning.Now that's comedy.

gally

Most of the modern Irish "comics" are s***e!Gimme the likes of Tommy Cooper or even Jerry Seinfeld, Les Dawson and even Billy Connolly is too raucous for my liking.Noise and profanity is no substitute for real humor.

Duckjob

Brendan O'Carroll. Anybody who goes to see those Mrs Brown shows should be shot with a ball of their own shíte.

At the other end of the comedy spectrum... the late great Dave Allen. True comic genius.

Gang of Gin

Diarmsquid wrote: »

I went through this whole thread just see to see if anyone would mention the DOD, so I could let you know I completely disagree.

I saw him recently and the man is hilarious. He had me in tears with laughter.
Also his TV show was great: This guy has them all uploaded on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/padraic2001eire

I have to say I don't like Lee Evans. The noises. The elaborate gestures. It's all a bit clown-like.

I think most of those supposed comedians on the Panel are awful. Is that Mairead person a comedian? Jesus. I love the way they throw in the token woman as well, who says nothing for the entirety of the show. And they make it seem as if the funny ones are the 'lads'. Neil Delamare is the unfunniest ****bag I've ever had to listen to. The culchie joke etc has run very thin. He's got nothing. David O'Doherty is decent. I saw him in Kilkenny last year. I enjoyed it. Wouldn't put him down as one of my favourites all said.

Gang of Gin

Akrasia wrote: »

Worst comedian ever is Bill Hicks.

awful awful stuff.

What is that 'goat boy nonsense?' its nothing less than paedophelia.

I saw his kung fu movie too. It was rubbish. He couldn't act at all and the production values were useless.

Denis Leary is the funniest american comedian. So much more original than Hicks and while he's a little bit crude sometimes, he's still funny. (i'm not a complete prude after all)

As for the Irish comedians, I hate Tommy tiernan. (there's no need to be insulting every catholic in ireland just to get a cheap gag)
I think Patrick Kielty is very funny.

Des Ekin in the sunday world is hilarious. Don't think he does any stand up tho.

Patrick Kielty? Please.

grames_bond

Gang of Gin wrote: »

Patrick Kielty? Please.

ah man you fell for that hook line and sinker!!

cjmcork

not sure if this has come up already - but 2 words, Ed byrne

Gang of Gin

grames_bond wrote: »

ah man you fell for that hook line and sinker!!

Really? On inspecting the comment further I'm not too sure.

grames_bond

Gang of Gin wrote: »

Really? On inspecting the comment further I'm not too sure.

think about it....the guy said bill hicks was shi!te, denis leary was more original, tommy was aparantly gettin cheap gags at religion, patrick kielty was funny, and some journo was funny..........all of which is untrue, bad attempt at trolling!

pandaboy

Irish comedians that are not the least bit funny:

Neil Delamere - your jokes are old and used - pub jokes!
Des Bishop - not much of a comedian more of a bitch!
Deirdre O Kane - just because acting was too hard for you does not mean that comedy is easy!
Dermot Whelan - who the xxxx are you?
Paul Tylak - you are a really nice guy but your comedy is not the best. i love your acting though!
Jason Byrne - all your shows are the same
Ed Byrne - need I say anything
Karl Spain - yes we know how much you weigh.
Aidan Bishop - computer says no!
Maeve Higgins - fraggle rock
Keith Farnan - climb out of your own arse, there is a world out there

Plus many many many many more

pandaboy

Mr.Nice Guy wrote: »

Andrew Maxwell
Jo Brand
The entire panel on The Panel
Brendan whatshisname who dresses up as the old lady
Dave McSavage

Colin Murphy is a fantastic comedian. I supported him once and he did his entire show off the top of his head. everyone else on that show is a toss pot. Long winded dicks!

staker

tommy tiernan- what? the louder you shout the more we should laugh!!!

I would just like to re emphiase my hate toward Lee Evans. What a wanker

pandaboy

staker wrote: »

tommy tiernan- what? the louder you shout the more we should laugh!!!

that is true but at least his stuff is original and imaginative unlike the majority of irish comedians.

staker

pandaboy wrote: »

that is true but at least his stuff is original and imaginative unlike the majority of irish comedians.

fair point but i just get tunnel vision when i see him(only the once live)...it just bugs the s*** out of me

pandaboy

staker wrote: »

fair point but i just get tunnel vision when i see him(only the once live)...it just bugs the s*** out of me

i saw him live once and really thought he was ****. DOD was supporting him like 4 years ago and was much better. i think he's better o watch on DVD than forking out €25. That's saying a lot because I don't think there are any comedians on the current circuit that can touch him.

I hear John Lynn is supposed to be excellent.

grames_bond

pandaboy wrote: »

i saw him live once and really thought he was ****. DOD was supporting him like 4 years ago and was much better. i think he's better o watch on DVD than forking out €25. That's saying a lot because I don't think there are any comedians on the current circuit that can touch him.

I hear John Lynn is supposed to be excellent.

i disagree there, i saw his new show and found it very funny, watched his dvd and didnt make it the full way thru it! shocking, even the jokes i found funny live, i just didnt laugh at! but thats just the new stuff, his old dvds were amazing but the only show ive seen live and dvd is bovinity/ok baby and live was so much better!

EDIT: yes john lynn is excellent, saw him in kilkenny last year!

staker

must check him out

pandaboy

ya he's an excellent comedian. all the others (big wigs) really enjoy him. for someone to be doing comedy a short while then to win the bulmers comedy competition and then the year later to be touring with PJ Gallagher (cringe) is a mean feat. Especially with the one agency in Ireland showing quite a large bias.

are you hitting kilkenny again this year grames_bond?

grames_bond

pandaboy wrote: »

.
are you hitting kilkenny again this year grames_bond?

i certainly will be, altho i am goin to see stephen lynch on may 31st so i may only get down for the sunday and monday! (but the sunday is always the most fun day! football match and some big gigs)

2Scoops

JayoCluxton wrote: »

Bring back Tommy Cooper a la

"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. "
"Is it common? "
"It's not unusual."

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"

"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
"Well you can't say fairer than that then"

Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!

So I went to the dentist.
He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He said "My dog's died.'"

"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said
'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said 'You are.'"

So I rang up my local swimming baths.
I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?'
He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'"

"So I rang up a local building firm,
I said 'I want a skip outside my house.'
He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Class!!!!!!!!

I'm 90% sure that most of those jokes belong to mad old Tim Vine and not Tommy Cooper.

On topic, worst comedians are gurning Colin Murphy and maybe Des Bishop - who has made me laugh (just barely) but is just such an annoying person, it's difficult to listen to him.

Also, I don't get the whole Bill Hicks thing - isn't he just another 'angry man' comic? What separates him from the Denis Learys of this world (since they use the same jokes!)? Can anyone link to something that would change my mind?

pandaboy

2Scoops wrote: »

I'm 90% sure that most of those jokes belong to mad old Tim Vine and not Tommy Cooper.

On topic, worst comedians are gurning Colin Murphy and maybe Des Bishop - who has made me laugh (just barely) but is just such an annoying person, it's difficult to listen to him.

Also, I don't get the whole Bill Hicks thing - isn't he just another 'angry man' comic? What separates him from the Denis Learys of this world (since they use the same jokes!)? Can anyone link to something that would change my mind?

Bill Hicks is dead and belongs to the dead legends status. I found Hicks a lot easier to watch, Leary is excellent, but he just annoyed the **** out of me. Like the way Henry Rollins does.

Duckjob

patrick kielty

Any time I've ever heard Patrick Kielty, he seemed to have nothing else to talk about except Northern Ireland, Catholics, Protestants, etc, etc, A tedious broken record.

Plus when he appeared on "Anonymous" he was easily the LEAST funny of any guests.

grames_bond

2Scoops wrote: »

Also, I don't get the whole Bill Hicks thing - isn't he just another 'angry man' comic? What separates him from the Denis Learys of this world (since they use the same jokes!)? Can anyone link to something that would change my mind?

wer do you think leary got most of his *ahem* "inspirations" from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INarE1WraFA

(also some of hicks jokes here are great)

pandaboy

grames_bond wrote: »

wer do you think leary got most of his *ahem* "inspirations" from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INarE1WraFA

(also some of hicks jokes here are great)

thanks for the visual evidence grames. I wanted to say that earlier but didn't have the evidence man.

2Scoops

grames_bond wrote: »

wer do you think leary got most of his *ahem* "inspirations" from
(also some of hicks jokes here are great)

Yeah, but if Denis Leary can steal your jokes... maybe you need better jokes! (That's stealing a joke of Stewart Lee's though, except about Jim Davidson stealing Jimmy Carr's jokes minus the irony!)

zuchum

Des Bishop..nothing against the bloke...he's just not a good comedian...his jokes tend to revolve around the whole "That is SO true!!", or "That TOTALLY does happen!!" theory.e.g: "What you mean , the irish for hello is God be with you...so..technically...you CAN'T be Irish without beliving in god!!"
Audience thinks:"That is SO TOTALLY true!"


I think a huge part of his popularity isnt to do with making people laugh...judging from when I asked me friend why she liked him:"He is SO hot!"

zuchum

any woman

o1s1n wrote: »

And any man who dresses like one.

quoted from page 1...but still,i had to point out, Eddie Izzard...that is all

arse..biscuits

zuchum wrote: »

Des Bishop..nothing against the bloke...he's just not a good comedian...his jokes tend to revolve around the whole "That is SO true!!", or "That TOTALLY does happen!!" theory.e.g: "What you mean , the irish for hello is God be with you...so..technically...you CAN'T be Irish without beliving in god!!"
Audience thinks:"That is SO TOTALLY true!"

Observation on Irish culture followed by culchie accent.

Man Irish people love to drink.
*Culchuie accent* I ****in love to drink Dessie.
Laughter from the audience

token56

That Limerick guy who is on the panel. He is just terrible

Lucy Lambourne

Worst comedien ever is most definatly Andrew Dice Clay

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RfQBWq_vgt0&feature=related

Duckjob

Lucy Lambourne wrote: »

Worst comedien ever is most definatly Andrew Dice Clay

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RfQBWq_vgt0&feature=related

Had never heard of him before and I'm not surprised - what an offensive unfunny ****.

Lucy Lambourne

Yeah thank god people over this side of the water have a bit more taste, but its kinda scarey when you see the success he had in America

joe brand. sick of her talking about how fat she is.

Phantasm

I can stomach most to a certain extent, but not Des Bishop.

Oh, and Noel Fielding. He seems like a nice guy, and he's funny on Panel shows and such, but he's not good on his own, I'm afraid.

py2006

I have to say I am surprised at some of the negativity towards Lee Evans. I find him to be the funniest out of the lot. He has had the largest audience ever for a stand up. I think it was 10,000 +

Phantasm

py2006 wrote: »

I have to say I am surprised at some of the negativity towards Lee Evans. I find him to be the funniest out of the lot. He has had the largest audience ever for a stand up. I think it was 10,000 +

I agree that he is great, but I can see why people wouldn't like him.
I think his comedy has an aquired taste for some people. Or else he's one of those people you either hate or adore, with nothing inbetween... Which isn't the best thing when you're a Stand-Up.

I would like to reemphasis my hate for Lee Evans

Goodluck2me

LittleNipper wrote: »

joe brand. sick of her talking about how fat she is.

Apparently someone heckled here at a show and she said, stfu or i`ll sit on you.

py2006 wrote: »

I have to say I am surprised at some of the negativity towards Lee Evans. I find him to be the funniest out of the lot. He has had the largest audience ever for a stand up. I think it was 10,000 +

I love his work, think he`s excellent.

Goodluck2me

Lucy Lambourne wrote: »

Worst comedien ever is most definatly Andrew Dice Clay

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RfQBWq_vgt0&feature=related

Wow, thats so bad. Fukc is overused slightly.

vengeance52

Dane Cook, i think he is terrible. and i was supprised, but after seeing a dvd ardal o hanlon. didnt like his show at all.

2Scoops

Anyone mention Carlos Mencia yet? OMG, he is like SO politically INcorrect!! :eek: Which would be fine if he was in any way funny, but he isn't really.

Inexplicably, he's got his own long-running show in the US.

Beer is Life

Feral Mutant wrote: »

Al Murray. I did like Time Gentleman Please but his stand-up bugs the crap out of me.

Could not agree more

No way man! I love the Guv'nor! Going to see him in March 09, cant wait

I dont much like Eddie Izzard or Richard Pryor :eek:

Beer is Life

2Scoops wrote: »

Anyone mention Carlos Mencia yet? OMG, he is like SO politically INcorrect!! :eek: Which would be fine if he was in any way funny, but he isn't really.

Inexplicably, he's got his own long-running show in the US.

You mean Ned Holness? Haha yea hes bloody awful, I love the clips of Joe Rogan confronting him about stealing material

pandaboy

2Scoops wrote: »

Anyone mention Carlos Mencia yet? OMG, he is like SO politically INcorrect!! :eek: Which would be fine if he was in any way funny, but he isn't really.

Inexplicably, he's got his own long-running show in the US.

pity it's not his own material. check out carlos mencia and joe rogan, it's gas!!!!

rowlandbrowner

Seen a Scottish comedian at the Kilkenny Cats laugh festival, he was gay, and his whole act revolved around that fact. It just bored me senseless, I couldn’t care less what sexuality he is, so it didn’t shock or interest me in anyway. He had nothing interesting or funny to say, just spent far too long projecting a generic camp image that seemed like an arcane stereotype from a old English sitcom.

also, I accidentally seen Dane Cook(e?) on paramount comedy the other night... I still can’t understand how anybody could like him…. He barely told a joke and when he did it was a joke about “make-up sex” or some misogynistic comment about monogamous relationships.

pandaboy

rowlandbrowner wrote: »

Seen a Scottish comedian at the Kilkenny Cats laugh festival, he was gay, and his whole act revolved around that fact. It just bored me senseless, I couldn’t care less what sexuality he is, so it didn’t shock or interest me in anyway. He had nothing interesting or funny to say, just spent far too long projecting a generic camp image that seemed like an arcane stereotype from a old English sitcom.

also, I accidentally seen Dane Cook(e?) on paramount comedy the other night... I still can’t understand how anybody could like him…. He barely told a joke and when he did it was a joke about “make-up sex” or some misogynistic comment about monogamous relationships.

you think that's a bad joke, try out his joke about lying. A sell out 18000 person audience in Boston, not that's the joke!!!!

I would like to remind people that Lee Evans is a wanker.

That is all.

rowlandbrowner

KaG1888 wrote: »

I would like to remind people that Lee Evans is a wanker.

That is all.

you dont have to remind me.

Galvasean

I used to like Lee Evans but lately he's been getting on my nerves. He just comes across as too much of a 'gimmick' comic.