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Parrot jokes;

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  • 17-10-2007 12:32am
    #1
    junkyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,579 ✭✭✭


    A man walks into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The owner of the shop points to three identical parrots on a perch and says "the parrot on the left costs 500 euros" "Why does he cost so much?" asks the customer. The owner says "Well, that parrot knows how to do legal research." The customer then asks how much the next parrot costs, to be told he can do everything the first one can do and he can write a brief that will win any case but he costs 1000 euros.
    Naturally the increasingly startled customer asks about the third parrot and is told that one costs 4000 euros. Needless to say this begs the question "What can this one do?" To which the owner replied " To be honest, I've never seen him do anything, but the other two call him Senior Partner."


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    #2
    junkyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,579 ✭✭✭junkyard


    There was a magican who worked on a cruise ship preforming mainly sleight of hand tricks. He had a regular spot on the ship's cabaret evening entertainment. He was actually quite a good magican but his act was regularly ruined by the onboard parrot who would fly around squawking out and giving away his secrets like: "IT'S UP HIS SLEEVE" or "IT'S IN HIS POCKET" or "IT'S IN HIS MOUTH." The magican was getting sick of this and threatened to kill the parrot if it ruined his act one more time. That evening at the climax of his act the liner struck an iceberg and sank in seconds.
    Amazingly, the magican and the parrot were the only two survivors. The magican was lying on a piece of drift wood in a daze. As he opened his eyes he could see the parrot staring back at him with his beady little eyes. The parrot sat there for hours and eventually said " OK, I give up, what did you do with the ship?"


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    #3
    junkyard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,579 ✭✭✭junkyard


    An obnoxious kid goes around to visit his grandfather to see his new parrot. His grandfather is a very religious man who had saved for many years to buy this parrot. The kid looks at the parrot and asks his grandfather what's so special about this parrot? "Well" he replied " If you pull his right leg he says the Our Father and if you pull his left leg he says the Hail Mary" With that the kid butts in " And what happens if you pull both his legs" " I fall on my a*se " replied the parrot.


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