what would you do?

The Bollox

if your are made undeniable ruler of the world tomorrow what laws would you invent / change to better the world or make it a safer place?

If it was up to me then the way I would combat crime is go a very unorthodox way about it. I would give every man and woman in the world a gun. I would do this because it is actually impossible to rid the world of firearms. they are easyish to make yourself. the reason I give everyone a gun is because it's the next best thing to having no guns atall. any potential thief is going to think twice about robbing your house if he knows that there is atleast one armed person in there.

another law I would bring in is to make it so if any person breaks into your place of residence that anything you do to them, bar mortally wounding them, is nice and legal. this is for two reasons: one it reinforces law A when it comes to burgularies. Two, I think it's completly stupid that if a burgular cuts himself on a knife in your house, it is possible for said burlular to sue you as opposed to going to gaol for breaking and entering. what a world we live in.

that's how The Bollox would improve the world, how would you go about doing it?

whiskeyman

The Bollox wrote: »

I would give every man and woman in the world a gun.....how would you go about doing it?

I'd open up a franchise of gun / ammo shops.

I'd help the world, and make a fortune at the same time

Latchy

Quote the Bollox - I would give every man and woman in the world a gun. I would do this because it is actually impossible to rid the world of firearms. they are easyish to make yourself. the reason I give everyone a gun is because it's the next best thing to having no guns atall. any potential thief is going to think twice about robbing your house if he knows that there is atleast one armed person in there.

Do you know the world is full of mad people with guns ? ........and i dont mean trigger happy cops or gung -ho soldiers either ........

moco

I agree with the part where if someone breaks into your house you can do what you want with them. I think everyone who commits a crime such as robbery, murder, rape etc they should be sent to prison where they have to work hard doing jobs that improve the community and benefit people on the outside. Plus prison sentences would be harsh and enforced at all times.

I'd also give long prison sentences for carrying a knife or gun.

cornbb

I'd undo everything intruduced by The Bollox and whiskeyman and introduce mandatory minimum sentances for people who they can provide simplistic solutions to all the world's problems through vigilantism/mutilation/blaming foreigners.

Celticfire

The Bollox wrote: »

I would give every man and woman in the world a gun.

another law I would bring in is to make it so if any person breaks into your place of residence that anything you do to them, bar mortally wounding them, is nice and legal

that's how The Bollox would improve the world, how would you go about doing it?

What are you supposed to do with the gun? Hit them over the head with it?

RobAMerc

i would use the three strikes rule

first time - prison - just like now

second time - chemical castration ( we dont want your scumbag offspring either thanks )

third time - well lets just say theres plenty of people who could put those body parts to good use !

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Revoke all firearms from anybody

impose longer prison sentences and prison rehab for everyone who was sentenced

H.O.T.A.S.

whiskeyman wrote: »

I'd open up a franchise of gun / ammo shops.

I'd help the world, and make a fortune at the same time

Would you like a side of 9mm bullets with your McMAC 10?

humanji

I'd sort out the sentencing problems and have a huge underwater prison built. It'd be completely no frills with just the basics needed to get by. It'd have 3 sections. The first is for those who genuinely want rehabilitation and will, hopefully, leave them fit for integration back into society. The second section would be for those who re-offend and show no desire to rehabilitate. They'd be forced to hand carve die for the extent of their stay. And the third section would be an arena where the toughest criminals fight to the death and where societies rich (which of course, from all the fiddling I've done, will be one of), will gamble on the outcome of each match!

I shall call this place Aquatraz, and it will be inescapable!!!

The Bollox

Celticfire wrote: »

What are you supposed to do with the gun? Hit them over the head with it?

take guns out of the equation for the moment. in this day and age if an armed robber holds you and your family at knife / gun point and you manage to knock him out using a frying pan to the head, or something similar, it would more than likely be seen as too forcefull. this is the type of thing that makes the baby Jesus cry

humanji

The Bollox wrote: »

take guns out of the equation for the moment. in this day and age if an armed robber holds you and your family at knife / gun point and you manage to knock him out using a frying pan to the head, or something similar, it would more than likely be seen as too forcefull. this is the type of thing that makes the baby Jesus cry

But you wanted to give everyone guns, but not let them use them?

The Bollox

then knee capping is allowed

leninbenjamin

i would make a number of new national holidays, one in celebration of cakes, one in celebration of waffles and another in celebration of wafflecakes.

then i would nuke D4.

Dinxminx

I would make Paris Hilton disappear.

Her and her lazy eye would never be seen again and uttering her name or - God forbid - playing her song would be punishable by five days in the slammer.

cance

law offenders would serve their time in solitary confinement aside from showers and community service ala chain gang style.

law offenders would also undergo medical sterilisation, law breaker? meet the ball breaker.

class A and B drugs would be legalised but 1 in 10 batches would be poisoned lethally, lets see if the junkie f**ks will take the risk.

Anyone driving a 4*4 jeep in dublin without any mud visible on the exterior of the car would be impounded and fined their first born*.

all illegal immigrants would be rounded up monthly and dumped off the coast of the UK in a small dingy.

bus drivers would be assigned the legal right, and obligation to shoot skangers and mp3 mobile phone idiots.

McDonalds, and all other fast food restaraunts employing pigeon english speaking staff would be burnt to the ground, staff inside or out.

thats all i can think of presently.

*also stuck in the dingy.

Dragan

I would have the scientists begin working on the tube technology immediately!

humanji

The Bollox wrote: »

then knee capping is allowed

Well, that's a given

mathie

I'd get rid of the dole or make people work for the MY taxed up euros.

the_syco

On the 5th of the month after their 18th birthday, they go to a 3 week military school on how to shoot. They then get given a gun, and locked in a room for 3 hours.

Those that try to kill themselves with the blanks get their gun removed, and sent out with no guns.

Those that talk to themselves get their gun removed, and sent out with no gun.

Those that seem sane are given their gun, and then do a 5 week course on how to drive a car. If they fail, they do it until they pass, getting 75% less rations each time, to encourage them to pass. Once they pass, they get a 10 year old car, with a limiter that only goes a max of 50km/h for the first year. Removal of such device will be punished with being strapped to the back of a car without a limiter for 5 hours, while the driver races around Mondello Park.

You now have sane people with guns and cars, and people will cop on fairly quickly.

monkeyfudge

The absolute and total annihilation of the human race.

It's easily the only way to be sure that the world is a safer and better place.

pretty-in-pink

I would undo much of the PC stuff- seriously, why should we be treated badly, in Ireland, because we are Irish?

I would remove W. Bush

I would make having the ability to read, spell, do maths etc mandatory. I'm fed up of stupid kids.

I would introduce fat tax- you want to be huge, fine. Pay for it. More expensive clothes, larger portions cost more, you take up more then 1 seat on the bus/train/luas/dart/plane etc, you pay for the space you take up. This will reduce the cost of health care for self induced obesity related problems.

Tampons and condoms would lose their luxury tax. Ffs, its not like they are a luxury item

Cruelty to animals would result in a rapid prison sentence. Repeat offenders never get to leave jail. (Random shootings would also work, but violence begets violence)

That big food mountain etc we have? Yeah, it would go to Africa etc, where they have no food.

I'd end child slavery and jail for life all those guilty of endorsing/ enforcing it.

The way current prisons are run is stupid. I would remove most of the luxuries- you want television? Tough, you should have thought of that before you broke the law.

Driving tests to be taken every 5 years, to keep roads safe

I'd fix our roads

Population control- not sure how to work it, but its needed.

Drugs- hmmmm, well marijuanna I'd make legal. The class a's etc? Hmmm how can you stop it? You can't. Tighter border security to help minimise it

You want to live somewhere? Speak their language, its polite.

Prostitution- legalise it. Keep it safe, clean, and think of the tax......

That is all for now

MooseJam

I'd bring in a law that any woman has to sleep with me when asked

longshanks

MooseJam wrote: »

I'd bring in a law that any woman has to sleep with me when asked

and i'd bring in a law that their slightly less good lookin (ok, ugly) friend has to sleep with me

pretty-in-pink

MooseJam wrote: »

I'd bring in a law that any woman has to sleep with me when asked

longshanks wrote: »

and i'd bring in a law that their slightly less good lookin (ok, ugly) friend has to sleep with me

Classy guys.....;)

Isn't that a cult? I thought we were running a dictatorship?

MooseJam

pretty-in-pink wrote: »

Classy guys.....;)

Isn't that a cult? I thought we were running a dictatorship?

cult/dictatorship call it what you will as long as I get all the ass

The Bollox

MooseJam wrote: »

cult/dictatorship call it what you will as long as I get all the ass

here you go

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/4/46/Donkey.jpg

courtesy of Bollox international

Gaz

I would introduce mandatory naked tuesdays for all women .... and maybe thursdays

nyarlothothep

make everyone build a giant self sustaining pyramid spaceship emblazoned with statues of me on the balconies.

johnnyskeleton

The Bollox wrote: »

if your are made undeniable ruler of the world tomorrow what laws would you invent / change to better the world or make it a safer place?

If it was up to me then the way I would combat crime is go a very unorthodox way about it. I would give every man and woman in the world a gun. I would do this because it is actually impossible to rid the world of firearms. they are easyish to make yourself. the reason I give everyone a gun is because it's the next best thing to having no guns atall. any potential thief is going to think twice about robbing your house if he knows that there is atleast one armed person in there.

I'd do the same but prohibit the possession, production or use of bullets. So everyone could pose and act hard but no one would actually shoot someone else (which can be quite messy and often ruins your dinner).

The Bollox wrote:

another law I would bring in is to make it so if any person breaks into your place of residence that anything you do to them, bar mortally wounding them, is nice and legal. this is for two reasons: one it reinforces law A when it comes to burgularies. Two, I think it's completly stupid that if a burgular cuts himself on a knife in your house, it is possible for said burlular to sue you as opposed to going to gaol for breaking and entering. what a world we live in.

I'd also prohibit the Evening Herald school of Civil Litigation Law and I would amend freedom of speech so that a person can only express an opinion that they know something about. In my world, if someone wants to change the law, they first need to know what the law is.

The Bollox wrote:

take guns out of the equation for the moment. in this day and age if an armed robber holds you and your family at knife / gun point and you manage to knock him out using a frying pan to the head, or something similar, it would more than likely be seen as too forcefull. this is the type of thing that makes the baby Jesus cry

Is that why Nally was put in jail for using hardly any force at all in a completely necessary fashion? Oh wait...

pretty-in-pink wrote:

That big food mountain etc we have? Yeah, it would go to Africa etc, where they have no food.

1) We don't really have it anymore
2) Africa has lots of food, it's just badly distributed (i.e. exported and given to the rich).
3) Dumping European food on Africa would damage several African economies and destroy farms. So after the inital party you would leave people fat, hungry but without any food or money. Teach a man to fish etc etc.

aidan24326

The Bollox wrote: »

I would give every man and woman in the world a gun

Stupid idea in fairness. Why not go the other way and make it illegal for anyone to carry a gun?

A zero tolerance policy on crime is what we need.

I'd introduce a law whereby total scumbags i.e druglords, gangland criminals, westies types etc get severe jail sentences up to and including life, and with enforced chemical castration so they don't produce more of the same. Particularly nasty individuals like Gilligan would be executed.

Automatic execution by lethal injection for first degree murder and aggravated rape. No use wasting state resources keeping them in jail. Smug murderers like JO'R would get the electric chair, just for my amusement.

Smoking made illegal, just cos I said so. Two child policy, a 3rd child to be removed and terminated humanely by the state. The only way to stabilise human population is a very very strict enforcement of the 'replace yourself' principle. No exceptions. We can't have bloody idiots having 8 babies anymore, sorry.

All guns and firearms of every kind banned and law enforced up to and including execution. Two-strike policy, first offence for posession carries a final warning, with lifetime probation. Second offence equals immediate execution. I wouldn't be a very nice dictator really.

pretty-in-pink

Oh I wouldn't either, but I figured my other plans.....may cause trouble here

Sangre

Two, I think it's completly stupid that if a burgular cuts himself on a knife in your house, it is possible for said burlular to sue you as opposed to going to gaol for breaking and entering. what a world we live in.

Despite what the media want you to believe, no they can't.

humbert

I would take Jessica Alba as my first concubine, quarantine America, and make it illegal for anyone to worship one god without worshiping all the rest equally. Probably persecute vegetarians too, but just for amusement.

Black Swan

First act as world dictator? Rendition Bush (then forget where I put him).

Second act: Begin selecting lads for knights of the round table (ask pretty-in-pink to help).

Third act? (I'll sleep on it).

pretty-in-pink

Ooh, yes B!ue, I likes it. As a team we could acchieve somuch more

blindman

Anyone guilty of a crime, shoot off a body part. Legalise prostitution.

The Bollox

aidan24326 wrote: »

Stupid idea in fairness. Why not go the other way and make it illegal for anyone to carry a gun?

because how many shootings are done by people with a licence for the gun they used?

Jesus Wept

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

First act as world dictator? Rendition Bush (then forget where I put him).

Second act: Begin selecting lads for knights of the round table (ask pretty-in-pink to help).

Third act? (I'll sleep on it).

I have a Roman Helmut you can borrow.

Sinfonia

pretty-in-pink wrote: »

I would make having the ability to read, spell, do maths etc mandatory. I'm fed up with stupid kids.

FYP. Who's the stupid kid now? :p:p

Terry

I'd get all the good cancelled tv shows back on air.

Then I'd sit back, watch tv and have people bring me beer and pizza.

It's what any good politician would do.

Tigger

has everyone seen a clockwork orange ?

Wacker

I'd establish a Palestinian state, by making both sides compromise until it gets done. I'd use my 'lord of the universe powers' to ensure a peaceful transition in the region. This will in time reduce global tensions.

I'd develop fusion power. Once oil becomes unnecceassry, the US and Europe (and everyone else for that matter) will no longer have to put up with Saudi Arabia's ludicrous treatment of women and their human rights record. Let them have no trade whatsoever until they modernise. Also, fusion power doesn't cause pollution (to the best of my knowledge), so that should help dramatically with global warming.

I wouldn't worry too much about Ireland. The lord of the world (or whatever) has more to worry about than us.

ambro25

The Bollox wrote:

if your are made undeniable ruler of the world tomorrow what laws would you invent / change to better the world or make it a safer place?

Put most of the scientists back onto space travel/exploration - because aside from war (which we don't want... well, which I, as Supremez Rulerz, forbid) that's probably what drives innovation fastest, incl. fusion/nuclear power etc.

That solves -
crime: convicted hard crims (murder, rape, paedophiles etc.) are rocketed out into space, endof. Weekly departures from every Continent. No food or facilities onboard, no destination.
overpopulation: global lottery run once every year applicable to the class of age 18, selected = trained then rocketed out into space to colonize and/or build space ports/stations along the way.
pollution: with an entire planet's worth of scientists all driven by the same targets, 0-emission local/regional/intercontinental/extra-terrestrial travel soon to be had.

That leaves the more mundane stuff, with usual 'for the good of all' solutions already alluded to in the the thread.

* Convicted minor crims get "remedying" sentences - slave for aggrieved party for sentence duration, or labour-type stuff (reforest the Amazon, make & clean roads, etc.)
* Political class, unions, etc. abolished (no need for it, I iz boss now, only need walkers not talkers)
* Everybody on the same Universal Pay™, calculated by my super-zealous-&-efficient Global Civil Service to be exactly enough to lead a rich and satisfying life without promoting greed or envy.
* Free local/regional/intercontinental/extra-terrestrial public travel for all
* Annual 2 months holidays for all
* Parenthood License (as in: pass the test or no kids)

And the more personal stuff of course... but that will not be minuted in here

humanji

rbd wrote: »

has everyone seen a clockwork orange ?

I have. It's not as efficient as the digital ones, though.

User45701

Id retro fit the worlds prison system, by divirting a massive % of prison funs, (around 80%) away from prisons so t hey have less food, cleaning suplies ect ect. Take everythign they have and then the prisioners will work, its quote sad that there ar epeople who work for everything and then you go to jail and get pool tables? Play stations? WTF?

BREAD AND ****ING WATER IS ALL THOSE PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS DESERVE

They can work for the food and warmth oh and drugs are permitted in prisons is another important law that should be set up, too much is spent trying to keep them out of prisons but sits 1 way, the drugs go into prisons they dont export drugs from prisons so who cares if they use whatever the **** and i would also like to think that if i where ever sent to jail i could have a nice smoke

Sleepy

A very long list comprising of Fianna Fail party members, Republican party leaders, religious leaders, dictators, creationists, prison inmates, terrorists, anyone with a sub 100 IQ, scumbags and Corkonians is compiled. Those that can be successfully rehabilitated are, the rest are killed in whatever is the most economically viable way (I'm guessing something like Auschwitz).

Then the rest of us can live in a world without religion, where crime is low, personal responsibility is not just expected it's the norm, the wealth of the un-rehabilitatable is distributed to the poor and since I rule the world, there's no need for a defence budget and we can all explore space together