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Awful bastard

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  • 25-10-2007 8:41am
    #1
    Dr Strange
    Registered Users Posts: 3,427 ✭✭✭


    A so-called "sky-bar" on the top of a 45 floors New York high-rise building:

    Customer #1: 'Bartender, I'll have a lager, please.'

    The bartender serves the lager. Everything is quiet, not many customers around. Suddenly a man runs into the bar...

    Customer #2: @Bartender, quick a whiskey!' Gulps it down in one go and to the horror of customer #1 proceeds to an open window and jumps out.

    Customer #1 is absolutely speechless and it takes a couple of minutes before he can actually grasp what had just happened. Just before he can talk to the bartender about what he just witnessed a man runs into the bar...it's customer #2 who jumped out of the window a couple of minutes earlier!

    Customer #2: 'Bartender, quick, another whiskey!' Again, drinks it in one go and runs towards the open window and jumps out.

    Customer #1 rubs his eyes, doesn't believe what he just saw. Deja vu, or something? Maybe the shock form the first jump? Again, it takes him a couple of minutes to find his composure but before he can say anything someone comes running into the bar...it's customer #2. Again!

    Customer #2: 'Bartender, quick....'

    This time customer #1 interrupts: 'I am sorry to interrupt you, Sir, but may I ask you a question?

    Customer #2: 'Sure, go ahead.'

    Customer #1: 'I know this must sound like I am mad but I thought I saw you running into this bar before, ordering a whiskey and the....jumping out of the 45th floor window....twice?'

    Customer #2: My good man, you are quite correct. I did come in here twice before, had a whiskey each time and jumped out of that window over there. You see, this city is suffering from a serious traffic problem creating a lot of smog. What I discovered recently was that the smog in this particular area is so heavy that it has become quite dense and acts like a cushion. You can actually jump into it and you float down like a feather, it's quite a thrill and I can only recommend it if you are bored. The whiskey just adds to the enjoyment.

    Customer #1: 'This is astonishing!' Thinking to himself: 'Well, he did jump out twice and he did return alive so it must be true.

    He goes over to the bartender, orders a whiskey, drinks it down in one go and jumps out of the window and....SPLASH....falls to his death.

    Bartender to customer #2: 'Ah, you're an awful bastard, Superman'


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