Dear Diary ...

Oliverdog

Sally's Diary
Saturday 20th October

Tom was in a strange mood this evening. He was very quiet and when I asked him if anything was the matter, he just shrugged his shoulders and said nothing. I suggested we go out for a nice meal, and although he agreed to go out, he did not seem very enthusiastic. At the restaurant, he did not eat all his food, and had very little in the way of conversation. At home, I said I was going to bed, but he said he would stay up and watch TV for a while. He was very late coming to bed, and then he made love to me. This he did in a very hurried and inconsiderate way. Afterwards he fell off to sleep, and I lay there for a long time, and I am now convinced he is seeing another woman. I cried myself to sleep.

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Tom's Diary
Saturday 20th October

Liverpool lost. Got a shäg though.

GLaDOS

Anything less than 5 stars is criminal

Pyr0

Hahaha love it !

Bodhidharma

Brilliant. Works on so many levels. Nice!!!

Mint Sauce

Oliverdog wrote: »

Sally's Diary
Saturday 20th October

Tom was in a strange mood this evening. He was very quiet and when I asked him if anything was the matter, he just shrugged his shoulders and said nothing. I suggested we go out for a nice meal, and although he agreed to go out, he did not seem very enthusiastic. At the restaurant, he did not eat all his food, and had very little in the way of conversation. At home, I said I was going to bed, but he said he would stay up and watch TV for a while. He was very late coming to bed, and then he made love to me. This he did in a very hurried and inconsiderate way. Afterwards he fell off to sleep, and I lay there for a long time, and I am now convinced he is seeing another woman. I cried myself to sleep.

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Tom's Diary
Saturday 20th October

Liverpool lost. Got a shäg though.

good joke, seen it on another forum yesterday, was going to do a copy and paste from there, your not on the same forum are you oliverdog

Oliverdog

No I'm not - I heard it from a pal last night. It deserves wide circulation, I think..

Oliverdog

Bodhidharma wrote: »

Brilliant. Works on so many levels. Nice!!!

This is one of the levels it works on. They are different, aren't they?

Mrs Dog doesn't like this much!

mickrourke

Oliverdog wrote: »

Tom was in a strange mood this evening.......
........Liverpool lost.

Would it be too obvious to say Tom must be in a strange mood most Saturdays so.

Good Joke OD

machiavellianme

But Liverpool won on Saturday 20th October???
Must of meant Everton.

komodosp

Oliverdog - brilliant!!

fabsoul

mickrourke wrote: »

Would it be too obvious to say Tom must be in a strange mood most Saturdays so.

Good Joke OD

^^^^^ gd 1

Oliverdog

Mick and Mach ... you are possibly not familiar with the circumstances of the Derby game on 20th, which was in fact won by Everton. The score is immaterial on this occasion. The penalty right at the end and the sending off were the actions of a demented and partial referee. Everton have presented their case, which relies upon the attached evidence, to the Premier League, and my friends in the Everton Supporters Club are confident of a favourable outcome.

drunk_monk

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh1t.

Guy:Incognito

Oliverdog wrote: »

Mick and Mach ... you are possibly not familiar with the circumstances of the Derby game on 20th, which was in fact won by Everton. The score is immaterial on this occasion. The penalty right at the end and the sending off were the actions of a demented and partial referee. Everton have presented their case, which relies upon the attached evidence, to the Premier League, and my friends in the Everton Supporters Club are confident of a favourable outcome.

Results in muchacho, you guys lost.

Oliverdog

¡Ay, caramba! :mad:

Fenix

Quality. Have stars.