Warning Labels

squiggy

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for cyclists.

"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a bathroom heater.

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.


"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for an iron.

"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of PMS relief tablets.

"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for a computer.

"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.

"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

darkskol

LOL I love these kind of things, 5 stars.

Dregon

Made me laugh, some of them are great!

5 Stars!

prendy

i laughed out loud at work...very good!

MOH

Tears from laughing ... 5 stars

mc nuggets

Crying laughing here have 5 stars

Mahatma coat

Someone on Boards has a sig that says

'The problem with the world today is that there are too many stupid people wanderin around, now I'm not saying we kill them all, But, If we removed all the safety labels wouldnt the natural order of things be restored.'

or something like that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAANYWAY
heres some yellayokes

drunk_monk

Depend Adult Diapers
Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.

Furniture Wipes
Do not use for a baby wipe.

Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet
This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.

Lawnmower
Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning

Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza
Do not turn upside down.

Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle
Do not open here.

Bottle of bathtub cleaner
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.

Container of lighter fluid
WARNING: Contents flammable!

Box of household nails
CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!

Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it
Direction #1: Remove plastic.

Drink bottle label
Do not peel label off.

Woolite carpet cleaner
Safe for carpets, too!

Box of Frosted Cheerio's
The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."


Container of salt
Warning: High in sodium

Hose Nozzle
Do not spray into electrical outlet.

Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.

Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert
Always drive on roads. Not on people.

Bus Stop
No stopping or standing.

Church Sign
These rows reserved for parents with children.

Bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Credit card statement.
Payment is due by the due date.

Laundromat triple washer
No small children.

Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building
Take care: new non-slip surface.

Box of Pills
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.

Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

Can of black pepper.
Instructions: usage known.

Bag of cat biscuits
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.

Car Manual
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.

Espresso Kettle
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position.

T.V. manual
Do not pour liquids into your television set.

Label on a hammer
Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object

VCR box
Instructional video on hooking up VCR included.

Black rubber fishing worm
Not for human consumption.

Manual for an SGI computer.
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.

Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.


Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
Turn off motor before using this product.

Rat Poison
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.

Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.

Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.

Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado

Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts

Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.

Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.

Hershey's Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts

Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food

500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.

Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.

Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a shower.

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

star-pants

Brilliant

seriously though -- who would think 'oh no an earthquake -- quick i MUST shave my legs incase i get trapped and cute firefighters have to save me'

And the don't throw the baby out with bathwater.. .priceless....

ZorbaTehZ

squiggy wrote: »

"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

Lmao.

I didn't read them all, but I remember a good one that I saw once on the bottom of a drinks bottles with "Open other side".

folan

Good god, if we really need all those warnings, we are really in trouble as a race.

Please tell me they're only for extremely stupid people.

It'd be quicker if we made them wear signs, then we'd know not to sell them that stuff without proper supervision.

folan

squiggy wrote: »

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

Also, seriously, when did this become a problem? Imagine the court case!

tolosenc

drunk_monk wrote: »

Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.

Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.

Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado

Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

LMAO

Rabies

Lasty week I bought a new pair of Puma trainers. On the side of the box it said "Average contents 2"
WTF! Do some people get one or three shoes?

seagull

The scary part is the number of these warnings that came after the company making the product was sued by an idiot, and lost the case.