any chance of a push??????

longshanks

a man and his wife are asleep in bed one night, when in the middle of some particularly pleasant dreaming they are awoken by someone knocking on their door. the husband stalks down the stairs, pulls the door open and is all 'what the fock are you doing? its 3 in the a.m. we were sleeping'
the fella standing at the door starts apologising for the time but starts asking 'listen mate, i'm just down the road and im stuck. any chance of a push??
the husband just tells him to fock off and goes back up to bed. he tells his wife what happened. 'can u believe it?' but shes having none of it. ' you should have helped him, remember when we were on holiday and the same thing happened us and everyone was so nice and helpful. you really should help him.' seeing the error of his ways he gets back out of bed, heads back down the stairs, opens the door and shouts out into the dark..
hello, are you still out there?
yeah...
are you still looking for a push?
yeah...
where are you?





on the swings

hamnegg

clean at least!

hamnegg

Whats green but goes red at the touch of a button??













A Frog in a liquidizer!!

machiavellianme

longshanks wrote: »

a man and his wife are asleep in bed one night, when in the middle of some particularly pleasant dreaming they are awoken by someone knocking on their door. the husband stalks down the stairs, pulls the door open and is all 'what the fock are you doing? its 3 in the a.m. we were sleeping'
the fella standing at the door starts apologising for the time but starts asking 'listen mate, i'm just down the road and im stuck. any chance of a push??
the husband just tells him to fock off and goes back up to bed. he tells his wife what happened. 'can u believe it?' but shes having none of it. ' you should have helped him, remember when we were on holiday and the same thing happened us and everyone was so nice and helpful. you really should help him.' seeing the error of his ways he gets back out of bed, heads back down the stairs, opens the door and shouts out into the dark..
hello, are you still out there?
yeah...
are you still looking for a push?
yeah...
where are you?





on the swings

An oldie, but funny nonetheless. Stars me thinks

Oman

i should have seen it, but i didnt.
brilliant

Jimbo

what was he doing out on the swings so late? Summit fishy there methinks