Erection Problems??? Read This

BRIAN1956

A man went into an urologist and told him he was having a problem, as he was unable to get his manhood erect.

The doctor checked him out then told him that the muscles around the base of the organ were damaged from a previous viral infection and there was nothing he could actually do for him.


However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if he is willing to take the risk. The treatment consisted of planting muscle tissues from an elephants trunk into his penis.


The man thought about it for a while. The thought of having to go through life without sex was too much for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty to the elephant, the man decided to go for it.


A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to go and try out his newly renovated equipment. As a result he planned a romantic evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in town.


In the middle of dinner he felt a strong stirring in his loins that continued to the point of being extremely painful.

To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his knob sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and returned to his trousers.


His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly grin on her face said, 'That was incredible! Can you do that again?'





With tears in his eyes he replied, 'I think I can, but I am not sure if another bread roll will fit up my arse' :eek:

uoluol

Good one - haven't heard it before...

belle2e

Is that a true story?

drunk_monk

I saw a guy stacking shelves at Tesco complaining because the top shelf was broken, and he couldn't keep it up.
I think he had a wrecked aisle dysfunction.

tossy

I went in to my local Garda station last friday night,took my penis out and slapped it down on the counter - "Breathalyse that lads" i shouted "as i'll be driving it home tonight"

youtheman

Man had a problem with his penis and someone told him he needed to see a 'chiropodist'. So off he goes. When he enters her room she is on the phone and she tells him to "take it out and rest it on the table". So he does.

She hangs up the phone, looks up and exclaims "that's not a foot".

"Well it's a good eleven inches" says he.

Bada boom, bada bing !!!

youtheman

Elderly man goes to his doctor and requests a prescription for “two Viagra tables”. Doctors enquires why he wants “two”, and man explains that he has a hot date with a young window tonight and wants to ensure he can “perform” as expected. So he gets the two blue tablets.
Next day the doctor sees the man pacing up and down in front of his surgery as he comes to work, in an obvious agitated state. He invites him into his surgery, and asks what is wrong. The man drops his pants to reveal a penis that is red raw. “Quick”, says the elderly man “give me some ‘deep-heat’ “. Doctor replies “it’s not deep-heat you want for that penis”. Man explains “it’s not for me penis, it’s for me wrists, my date never turned up last night”.

dilallio

youtheman wrote: »

Elderly man goes to his doctor and requests a prescription for “two Viagra tables”. Doctors enquires why he wants “two”, and man explains that he has a hot date with a young window tonight and wants to ensure he can “perform” as expected. So he gets the two blue tablets.
Next day the doctor sees the man pacing up and down in front of his surgery as he comes to work, in an obvious agitated state. He invites him into his surgery, and asks what is wrong. The man drops his pants to reveal a penis that is red raw. “Quick”, says the elderly man “give me some ‘deep-heat’ “. Doctor replies “it’s not deep-heat you want for that penis”. Man explains “it’s not for me penis, it’s for me wrists, my date never turned up last night”.

Must have been double-glazed.

youtheman

It's that bloody smell-checker again, gets me into loads of trouble !!!!!!

shawnee

dilallio wrote: »

Must have been double-glazed.

There always out there !!!! Dotting the Is and crossing the Ts !

St. Leibowitz

shawnee wrote: »

There always out there !!!! Dotting the Is and crossing the Ts !

They're



if you really want Ts dotted :-)

shawnee

St. Leibowitz wrote: »

They're



if you really want Ts dotted :-)

Boring !! or is it boaring ( hope it's keeping you busy );)

D_murph

youtheman wrote: »

Man had a problem with his penis and someone told him he needed to see a 'chiropodist'. So off he goes. When he enters her room she is on the phone and she tells him to "take it out and rest it on the table". So he does.

She hangs up the phone, looks up and exclaims "that's not a foot".

"Well it's a good eleven inches" says he.

Bada boom, bada bing !!!

Same guy goes across the road to a clock shop and lobs it out on the counter. The lady says, "Sorry sir, there must be a misunderstanding, this is only a clock shop".

"I know" says the man, "put 2 hands and a face on that".

Elmidena

Old man goes to his doctor and asks for Viagra. The man asks the doctor if it was possible to cut them in half, and the doctor was very surprised at this. He tries to explain as tactfully as he can that such a low dosage wouldn't do much for a ladyfriend to which the old man looks flabbergasted.
"Ladyfriend? All I want is dry slippers!"