advice needed!!!!!!

LegacyUser

Hi, well i just only admitted to myself recently that i'm bi/les not really sure but anyhow thats not a problem at the mo. The thing is that i kinda have this huge crush on my friend to the point where i may be in love with her? I think about her all the time and tbh its driving me insane, what shud I do? do I tell her and risk ruining our friendship or do i struggle on trying to convince myself that i dont feel this way (had these feelings for nearly a year so far!). Also i'm terrified of coming out to my friends and family i'm only 19. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Hmm_Messiah

"coming out" can be as much a hinderance to happiness as secrecy, denial etc etc
There is no "need" to come out , you might wish to at some time , and either ways i think you are unsure of many things so wait til some are settled in your head .

About your friend, rather than a long answer I think an answer is - if this was a bloke, a best mate, you felt you'd a crush on, what would you do ?

talk about it ? forget it ? just see how things pan out?

I know there is some difference but overall you either risk something or you decide its not on ( for now at least)

And I guess you might know already if its a "crush" it might just be linked in with all the new confusing thoughts in your head, and not really anything to do with fancying or liking your friend ( in that way )

markw999

I had a huge crush on a good friend of mine who was attached. I told him and of course, nothing happened. But eventually the feelings started to fade. If they're a good friend, they'll understand. You mightn't get the answer you'll want (in fact you probably won't, but *fingers crossed*, here's hoping) but you will feel better for having done so.

But it's upto yourself whether you do it or not. Also, I don't know what this friendship is like, so you've all that consider. But if yer losing sleep, like I was (I'm still good friends with the guy, a year later) I'd say something.

Cupcake_Crisis

i had a major crush on a really good friends of mine and it was the hardest thing EVER coz i knew nothing could ever happen with us! im bi and shes not! at the end of the day it wasn't her fault! she didn't make me feel how i felt about her, i developed those feeling myself! as hard as it was for me to be around her it helped in the end! i never told her how i felt and i never will. i dont want things to be weird between us!

musichead

What a ****ty situation. I totally remember being at your stage and at the same age too. It's really confusing and very scary. I would advise you to try and deal with your sexuality first and try to come to terms with that. Don't make any moves on your friend -that would only complicate the situation for the moment. Does anyone at all know your feelings about your sexuality? You'd be surprised by how many people might know/suspect something....and be fine with it once you tell them. but I totally understand the fear/worry etc. Hang in there - things get easier as time goes by. You're being really brave by admitting the feelings to yourself. That's the first step.

LegacyUser

Took yer advice and didnt tell her, which prob was the best thing coz shes away at college so i suppose i dont really want the little time i see her, at the weekends, to become awkward between us.
As for coming out, i'm still in the closet. Nobody knows or suspects it and I really want to tell someone but i dont really know the best way to bring it up or how to go about it, as well i'm convinced my friends are kinda homophobic, mainly towards lesbians and that they dont believe in bisexuality.