Nemanja Vidic

Dave! · 05-11-2007 8:06pm #1

Just a rip-off of the Chuck Norris jokes, but with some specific to Vidic

Do your worst!!!

If you spell Nemanja Vidic in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on a match Nemanja Vidic played in when he was at school.

Nemanja Vidic does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Pluto is actually an orbiting a football that entered space after Nemanja Vidic cleared it with one of his headers.

Nemanja Vidic's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Nemanja Vidic has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Nemanja Vidic clearance.

On his birthday, Nemanja Vidic randomly selects one lucky child to be booted into the sun.

Nemanja Vidic ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Nemanja Vidic doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

James Cameron wanted Nemanja Vidic to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Nemanja Vidic pajamas.

Nemanja Vidic once worked as a weatherman for a Serbian TV channel. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.

The last thing you see after you go past Nemanja Vidic with the ball? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

Nemanja Vidic can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Namanja Vidic made his next clearance yesterday.

In a fight between Superman and Batman the winner would be Nemanja Vidic

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Nemanja Vidic.

Nemanja Vidic was what Willis was talkin' about.

After going for a slash, Nemanja Vidic likes to use Sir Alex Ferguson's famous hairdryer treatment to dry his hands.

Nemanja Vidic built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. Vida met all three bullets with his head, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Nemanja Vidic once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

Nemanja Vidic will move the railway track to build the new south stand at Old Trafford.

After a main course of opposition centre-forward, Nemanja Vidic uses Pat Evra as a toothpick