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Euro English

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  • 11-11-2007 1:11pm
    #1
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭


    The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

    In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.


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    #2
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,901 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    please stop posting multiple threads at the same time

    wasn't this originally done by George Bernard Shaw ?


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    #3
    Mahatma coat
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,869 ✭✭✭Mahatma coat


    Nothing wrong with it at all, Keep up the good work Dak, by the law of averages if you post enough stuff something has to be funny:D:D:D

    you should know better that that Capt'n


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    #4
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    please stop posting multiple threads at the same time

    wasn't this originally done by George Bernard Shaw ?

    Zoo av no drem !


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    #5
    Wacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭Wacker


    dak wrote: »
    Zoo av no drem !
    I tought that they'd gotten rid of double Os? It should be "Yu hav no drem!"


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    #6
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    Wacker wrote: »
    I tought that they'd gotten rid of double Os? It should be "Yu hav no drem!"

    Probably!!! But does it really matter in a humour forum ?


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    #7
    Kat1170
    Registered Users Posts: 3,626 ✭✭✭Kat1170


    please stop posting multiple threads at the same time

    wasn't this originally done by George Bernard Shaw ?

    Didn't know he posted here. :D:D


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