Hens ..Heaven and rain

dak

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car. A cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him". "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."

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After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a 'kiss?'" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.

A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."

And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."

And Adam said, "What is a 'caress?'"

So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve."

And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?'"

So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.

And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache?'"

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There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine
who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.

One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started.
Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous.
He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious
that she was interested in him too.

But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly
while he was still going out with Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with her
and get it on with the new girl.

He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
One day they went for a walk along the river bank
when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river.
The current carried her off and she drowned.

The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off
smiling and singing:
"I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"

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