B***h

dak · 17-11-2007 9:46pm #1

Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.

The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know...
Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist"

The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know... Double Income, No Kids."

The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know... Rich, Urban, Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?"

She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know.... Wash, Iron, F**k, Etc. "

A second gal answers their question before they even ask it: "BITCH."

What exactly is a BITCH?!?", they ask in unison.
"Babe In Total Control of Herself."

Or it could mean "Beautiful Individual That Causes H****n's "!!

dak · 17-11-2007 9:50pm

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant
and there is a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table.
He has been checking her out all night,
but lacks the nerve to go talk to her.

Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye
comes flying out of her socket towards the man.
He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air.
"Oh my gosh, I'm sooo sorry," the woman says,
as she pops her eye back into place.
"Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you."

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards
the woman invites him to the theatre followed by drinks.
After paying for everything,
she asks him if he would like to stay for breakfast the next morning.
An evening of wild passion ensues.

The next morning, she's cooked a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings.
The guy is amazed!!! "You know, you are the perfect woman.
Are you this fantastic to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies..."You just happened to catch my eye."

dak · 17-11-2007 9:56pm

Paddy and his two friends are talking at work.
His first friend says,
"I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.
The other day I came home and found wire cutters
under our bed and they weren't mine."

His second friend says,
"I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber.
The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.
"Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

"I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

dak · 17-11-2007 9:59pm

A man suspected his wife was seeing another man,
so he hired the famous
Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities.
A few days later, he received this report:

MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE.
I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE.
I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE.
I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE.
SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE.
SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE.
SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
NO FEE,

Brethitmanhart · 18-11-2007 1:19am

hmmm, the last one was ok, the rest were terrible....

Creamy Goodness · 18-11-2007 1:24am

maybe i'm stupid but what the hell is the censored word here

Or it could mean "Beautiful Individual That Causes H****n's "!!

also bitch isn't a curse word, there's no need for it to be censored.