Quick joke

Plug

Did you ever see Stevie wonder's wife?

No....

Neither did he.

eggplantman

ive heard that one loads of times but still,lol

Karoma

What's the fastest thing on land?

Stevie Wonder's speedboat!

Karoma

Stevie Wonder will never read this. ¬_¬

Plug

How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife?


Blind date.

Plug

Why does Stevie Wonder always smile?


No one's told him he's black yet.

Karoma

You racialist!



What's the definition of 'Endless Love'?
Ray Charles & Stevie Wonder playing tennis.


What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Plug

Why hasn't Stevie Wonder written a hit in years?

He dropped his pencil!

This is the real killer:D
Stevie Wonder once did an interview on the best t.v show there possibly is and is being asked hundred of questions by the audience, stevie is just answering a question whe some one asks him what its like to be blind,? stevie repplies"that is a verry good question and to tell you the truth no one has ever asked me that before, but i suppose it could be worse i could be black!"

Brian Nolan

They gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater.

He said it was the best book he ever read!



Is this a good place to offer Car Storage!

Regards

Photi

Why has Stevie Wonder never played in Dublin?


He can't see the Point.

Karoma

Brian Nolan wrote: »

Is this a good place to offer Car Storage!

Regards

If only you had finished that with "Regards, Stevie Wonder"...
No. It's not. Send a private message to Vexorg and ask about paying for advertising.

Brian Nolan

<snip>

Publishing contents of PMs without permission is not the done thing.

Calling moderators Nazis is not the done thing.

Questioning how the forum is moderated, publicly on thread, is against the charter and may get you banned.

Behave or post elsewhere. Simple as.

Final Warning.

Hagar.

Brian Nolan

<snip>

Don't say you weren't warned.

Banned.


Hagar

Sherifu

This thread used to be funny (pre Brian Nolan)

Capt'n Midnight

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: "How is the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder says: "Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how's the golf."

Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I am still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I have got that right now."

Stevie Wonder says: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be alright."

Jack Nicklaus says: "You play golf!"

Stevie Wonder says: "Yes, I have been playing for years."

And Nicklaus says: "But I thought you were blind, how can you play golf if you are blind?"

He replies: "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands. The caddy moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."

"But how do you putt", says Nicklaus.

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."

Nicklaus says: "What is your handicap." Stevie says "Well I play off scratch."

Nicklaus is incredulous and he says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime."

Wonder replies: "Well people don't take me seriously so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole." Nicklaus thinks about it and says "OK, I'm up for that-when would you like to play?" "I don't care-any night next week is ok with me." Wonder replies

Capt'n Midnight

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.
A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord !".
Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild.
The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord". A bit annoyed by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.
The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord". Really angry now that this guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability. Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smartypants. You get up here and do it!"
The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing .....

" A jazz chord to say I ruv you..."

Karoma

OK. Enough, Brian Nolan.
Maybe it was the lack of funny that led us to believe you were serious.
Let's try to move on and learn from the past. Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles never saw eye to eye ...we can learn from their mistakes.

Capt'n Midnight

What is Stevie Wonder's favourite colour?
Corduroy!


Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the best book he'd ever read!

Plug

Karoma wrote: »

OK. Enough, Brian Nolan.
Maybe it was the lack of funny that led us to believe you were serious.
Let's try to move on and learn from the past. Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles never saw eye to eye ...we can learn from their mistakes.

Any chance u will unban me from AH, other forums are quite now:(

Brethitmanhart

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: "How is the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder says: "Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how's the golf."

Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I am still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I have got that right now."

Stevie Wonder says: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be alright."

Jack Nicklaus says: "You play golf!"

Stevie Wonder says: "Yes, I have been playing for years."

And Nicklaus says: "But I thought you were blind, how can you play golf if you are blind?"

He replies: "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands. The caddy moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."

"But how do you putt", says Nicklaus.

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."

Nicklaus says: "What is your handicap." Stevie says "Well I play off scratch."

Nicklaus is incredulous and he says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime."

Wonder replies: "Well people don't take me seriously so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole." Nicklaus thinks about it and says "OK, I'm up for that-when would you like to play?" "I don't care-any night next week is ok with me." Wonder replies

I really don't get it, Am I missing something?

dak

Brethitmanhart wrote: »

I really don't get it, Am I missing something?

A blind man can play just as well or as badly in the dark!

eggplantman

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: "How is the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder says: "Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how's the golf."

Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I am still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I have got that right now."

Stevie Wonder says: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be alright."

Jack Nicklaus says: "You play golf!"

Stevie Wonder says: "Yes, I have been playing for years."

And Nicklaus says: "But I thought you were blind, how can you play golf if you are blind?"

He replies: "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands. The caddy moves to the green or further down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."

"But how do you putt", says Nicklaus.

"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."

Nicklaus says: "What is your handicap." Stevie says "Well I play off scratch."

Nicklaus is incredulous and he says to Stevie, "We must play a game sometime."

Wonder replies: "Well people don't take me seriously so I only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000 a hole." Nicklaus thinks about it and says "OK, I'm up for that-when would you like to play?" "I don't care-any night next week is ok with me." Wonder replies

great joke

A Primal Nut

Brethitmanhart wrote: »

I really don't get it, Am I missing something?

Focus on the word night in the punchline - neither guy can see so blindess is irrelevant, get it now?

Brethitmanhart

Thanks Dak, I just didn't realises the emphasis on Night in the joke....

jor el

Brethitmanhart wrote: »

I really don't get it, Am I missing something?

Are you blind?





Ba-dum, tish!




I'll get me coat.



On topic:

Stevie Wonder walks into a shop swinging a dog above his head.
The shop owner says "Can I help you?"
Stevie Wonder say "No I'm just having a look around"

How do you break Steve Wonder's neck?
Speed up the music.

Brian Nolan

Brian Nolan wrote: »

<snip>

Publishing contents of PMs without permission is not the done thing.

Calling moderators Nazis is not the done thing.

Questioning how the forum is moderated, publicly on thread, is against the charter and may get you banned.

Behave or post elsewhere. Simple as.

Final Warning.

Hagar.

Off-topic!

Should've said something like, "Even Stevie Wonder saw this coming" tbh:mad: