Giving up rights to a child

The Corinthian

embee wrote: »

Lets keep this thread on-topic, kids.

This is on topic - Quality has based her advice to the OP on a flawed argument. Questioning the logic of this argument as a result has direct relevance to the OP's situation as a result.

Quality

I have made my opinion quite clear on this particular case,

I dont believe that this man should walk away from his child.

He has fathered this child, Had a DNA test done to proove it, This man is going to make a decision that is going to effect him for the rest of his life. And I think he should really consider his actions, This is a permanent decision, There will be little or no comeback on this for him after this.

This is my opinion in THIS case.

If on the other hand the Mother had posted a topic stating that she had fathered a child for another man other than her husband and now wanted him out of the childs life. I would be making a point to her that as this man is the father to the child he has every right to access. I would not agree with her either.

As stated before, Nobody is a winner here. It is a horrible situation to be in and the one who is going to suffer most is the poor innocent child.

Corinthian I am entitled to my opinions, You may not like them, I dont expect everyone to. But thats life.

The Corinthian

Quality wrote: »

If on the other hand the Mother had posted a topic stating that she had fathered a child for another man other than her husband and now wanted him out of the childs life. I would be making a point to her that as this man is the father to the child he has every right to access. I would not agree with her either.

Not the same thing though. If a mother suggested that she wanted to walk away from her child would you damn her equally or accept her right to do so?

Reverse the roles for a moment. A mother gives birth, but for a myriad of reasons (relationship with the father or his family, economic, etc) she simply cannot cope with the situation and as a result chooses that giving up the child for adoption is her best option. Is she scum in your eyes too?

Corinthian I am entitled to my opinions, You may not like them, I dont expect everyone to. But thats life.

And if you express them you have to accept that you'll be brought up on them if you're found to be talking nonsense. That's life too.

Pigletlover

Before I was born my father decided that he wanted nothing to do with my upbringing, leaving my mother to raise me by herself. He took the easy way out.

The father in this case has had to fight to firstly prove that he was in fact the father and then for visitation rights. He has had to put up with the mother and her family making life as difficult as possible for him so for anyone here to accuse the father in this case of taking the easy way out is incredibly unfair. Believe it or not, sometimes it's harder to walk away. The father has shown that he wants to be part of this child's life but the mother is doing all she can to shut him out. People have said 'think of the child', maybe that's what the father is doing. It's not fair on any child to be stuck in the middle of two feuding parents. I have seen mothers use their children to get money from the father, while the father doesn't even get to see the child. And then for the mother to turn around and tell the child that the reason they don't see their father is because daddy doesn't want to see them/daddy's too busy with his new girlfriend to spend time with you or some other lie. Is this fair on the child? I want to stress that not all mothers do this, most don't, but this mother has already lied by saying that she had suffered a miscarriage - that her unborn child was DEAD, so who knows what else she is capable of. Maybe the child would actually be happier growing up with his mother and her husband as the father figure. This would be incredibly painful on the father of the child and something that he will have to deal with every day. The easy way out? I don't think so.

metrovelvet

Pigletlover wrote: »

I want to stress that not all mothers do this, most don't, but this mother has already lied by saying that she had suffered a miscarriage - that her unborn child was DEAD, so who knows what else she is capable of. .

Yep. Pretending people are dead - as old as the hills. My adopted friend was told her father died in a motorcycle accident in Italy when her mother was pregnant. I didnt doubt it until the day I was told by the father of my child to pretend he was dead so I told her this and shes rethinking the whole thing.

WTF is wrong with people?

Desperate times desperate measures?

Nevyn

Note to all users this forum is not to be used for interpersonal axe grinding, or airing soiled linens if you have an issue with someone deal with it in an appropriate way and in an appropriate setting.





The thing is when two people who have a child separate or have a child outside of a stable committed relationship it can be the case that while on of the parents does want a relationship with their child they do not want to be dealing with the other parent.

This can get pretty ugly esp when one parent is left doing the lions share of the hands on parenting, the first two years are rough and they find themselves doing it alone.
This can cause all sorts of resentments and often as the child is so young the parent who does not have custody finds it very hard to establish a relationship with the baby and may decide to leave the other parent to it and will try establish a relationship with the child then they are older.

Which lefts face it sucks, for both parents they don't have someone to share their child's miles stones and achievements with in the same way, one of them gets all the dirty nappies and teething but they also get all the hugs and smiles and affection which makes parenting so rewarding which the other parent misses out on.


Yes it is important for children to have relationships with both their parents but this is not always possible from the every day they are born, sometimes it has to wait until the child is old enough to reason for themselves and then get to know their father/mother if the parent who has custody will let them do that and has not been illcouth enough to spend the intervening years poisoning the well.

Personally I am not 'in' a relationship with the father of my brats and there are days I am surprised my tounge is not a bloody stump from biting it but my children have a right to their relationship with their father and to get to know the type of person and the type of man he is for themselves and he has a right to grow and learn with his kids.

No one becomes magically a parent it is a huge and every changing learning curve and there are many types of parents.

*Page*

I'd like to hear back from the OP to what ever happened with the actual father of the child

Victor

Regarding inheritence, the child could be included in a will.