I need the day of because.....

Beetlebum

Hey Everybody..

I work for a very strict, uncompromising, have to restrain myself from punching him in the face, kinda man.
I really need to take Thursday of work but will have to have a very good reason seeing as it’s such short notice.
Can anybody help me to come up with an infallible excuse for needing the day off???

Thanks in advance!
Oh, and please nobody say..YORE MA!’..

GerryRyan

Question the first - are you expendable?

Beetlebum wrote: »

an infallible excuse for needing the day off???

Infallable eh? Letter from the Pope

Zulu

Lesson one: NEVER ask for a day off. You TELL them you are taking a day off.
Lesson two: if there is doubt (ie: deadline to a big project) pull a sickie. Having "the trotts" will ensure no futher questions are asked.

JayoCluxton

I wouldn't chance the granny or grannies dying either! You could try something like an urgent appointment at an STD clinic. He may be too embarrassed to say anything other than go ahead. A bit of scratching on earlier in the week may help your cause.

Your wife is pregnant and you need to find out if you are the father.

Baraboo

I find the dentist is always handy. No-one expects you to be able to do a days work after having a few fillings and having anesthetic mouth.

ScumLord

Tell him your taking the day off, if he doesn't like it stick the head to him and tell him again.

humanji

The truth?

LadyJ

Deleted User wrote: »

Your wife is pregnant and you need to find out if you are the father.

Pretty sure the OP is female so this won't work. Say you have an urgent Doctor appointment or something. Nothing they can do tbh.

Sam Vimes

Beetlebum wrote: »

Hey Everybody..

I work for a very strict, uncompromising, have to restrain myself from punching him in the face, kinda man.
I really need to take Thursday of work but will have to have a very good reason seeing as it’s such short notice.
Can anybody help me to come up with an infallible excuse for needing the day off???

Thanks in advance!
Oh, and please nobody say..YORE MA!’..

why do you actually need the day off? i'd start with that

jor el

Beetlebum wrote: »

I really need to take Thursday of work

And where exactly are you taking this Thursday of work?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

If you're pulling a sickie, don't just take off Thursday. The bigger the lie, the better it works. Take Thursday and Friday, and better again if you can bring Wednesday into it. If you need a Doctor's note, stress works brilliantly. It's not something that can be tested for, all you need to do is look tired and tell the doc you're under stress. That's been know to get people a few weeks off.

If your asshole boss gives you grief, tell him you have to visit an STD clinic, or an abortion clinic if you really want to stick it to him.

humanji

LadyJ wrote: »

Pretty sure the OP is female so this won't work. Say you have an urgent Doctor appointment or something. Nothing they can do tbh.

Actually, that's perfect. Say you have "woman problems"!

kizzyr

I never ask for the day off, I always tell them I am planning on taking Day(s) X off. If I have to leave suddenly (e.g. last Friday my sister's baby was in ICU and I took the afternoon off to mind her other two kids and was a real emergency) then I (again) tell them I'm taking a few hours, sorry for the short notice, explain why and off I go.
Are you taking Thursday for an interview? If so I'd do as another FM suggested and take the Wednesday, Thursday and Friday sick too. If you need a cert for the time then throw in a few extra days next week too. Doctors give certs for stress very easily.
p.s. I wouldn't normally advocate taking sick leave if you're not but if your boss is as horrible as that it shouldn't cost you a thought. From the sounds of things he would sell your soul in a second if it suited him and if you don't look out for yourself no one else will.

NeMiSiS

"I was up all night exploding from both ends"
I have used that - but I was.. .. lovely..

TK

watna

Girly problems... that's all you have to stay. Try and freak them out with detials. i have some unexplained bleeding and do to family history i need to get it checked out immediately. I'm going in to x hospital for tests. They shouldn't require a med cert for one day.

Or else just call in sick with the flu that everyone has or food posoning or something, make it really realistic and take Friday off too to make it more believable. They can't say anything to you about being sick. Especially if you haven't taken much sick leave before.

copacetic

Beetlebum wrote: »

Hey Everybody..

I work for a very strict, uncompromising, have to restrain myself from punching him in the face, kinda man.
I really need to take Thursday of work but will have to have a very good reason seeing as it’s such short notice.
Can anybody help me to come up with an infallible excuse for needing the day off???

Thanks in advance!
Oh, and please nobody say..YORE MA!’..

tell him you are pretty sure someone from boards is doing yore ma and you have to go home to try and catch him in that act.
if you are there about 3.30 we can have a cup of tea and discuss it..

FlutterinBantam

Tell him you have a clear white discharge from your crack and
need to see a doc. That shouldn't be too traumatic.

John Mason

you could tell him you are going on a course to learn the difference between "of" and "off". :rolleyes:

humbert

irishbird wrote: »

you could tell him you are going on a course to learn the difference between "of" and "off". :rolleyes:

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I didn't want to be the pedant to point that out but it hurts my eyes.

EamonnKeane

Just tell him "family difficulties", that's a good one.

John Mason

humbert wrote: »

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I didn't want to be the pedant to point that out but it hurts my eyes.

takes a bow, i couldnt figure out what was being asked for a while

seamus

Well, if you actually do need to take the day off, then surely telling him why you need to take this day off will do?

FlutterinBantam

Aaaah Shamie.. c'mon now.!!!!

Sleepy

A Gynocologist appointment will never be questioned by a bloke.

Timothy Bryce

Zulu wrote: »

Lesson one: NEVER ask for a day off. You TELL them you are taking a day off.
Lesson two: if there is doubt (ie: deadline to a big project) pull a sickie. Having "the trotts" will ensure no futher questions are asked.

Aye sh1tting Baileys is sure thing. Your boss won't want any further info other than this

Beetlebum

Deleted User wrote: »

Your wife is pregnant and you need to find out if you are the father.

Interesting idea but the fact that I'm a woman may raise suspicion....he's not the most observant of people though..hmmm..

LadyJ

LadyJ wrote: »

Pretty sure the OP is female so this won't work. Say you have an urgent Doctor appointment or something. Nothing they can do tbh.

Then that she is pregnant and needs to find out if its her husbands child

Timothy Bryce

Beetlebum wrote: »

Interesting idea but the fact that I'm a woman may raise suspicion....he's not the most observant of people though..hmmm..

Tell him that you were impregnated shortly after re-enacting the 2 girls 1 cup video during a marathon session of monkey sex and now need to travel abroad to abort the love child

Beetlebum

I need the day of (avert your eyes irishbird hee hee) because I have a job interview for another company so I can't tell him the truth...

Think I'll go with exploding at both ends...nice

MagicMarker

Tell him you have to go for a smear test.

Voodu Child

Tell him you've been called to give evidence in your last boss's gruesome-murder trial, and then ask him if he'll give you an alibi, or if he's any good with a shovel.

RxQueen

voodoo_child wrote: »

Tell him you've been called to give evidence in your last boss's gruesome-murder trial, and then ask him if he'll give you an alibi, or if he's any good with a shovel.

hhahaha i go with this one!:D

Timothy Bryce

emo!! wrote: »

hhahaha i go with this one!:D

Or maybe commit an actual murder - if you're in custody you won't have to go to work - RESULT!

5starpool

Tell him you were recalled to Portlaoise hospital by the HSE?

RxQueen

Timothy Bryce wrote: »

Or maybe commit an actual murder - if you're in custody you won't have to go to work - RESULT!

yeah but then she wouldnt be able to go to where she want to go in the first place, it could be tricky trying to get of custody, cause im sure they heard the line "i didnt do it" before or "i only done it cause my boss is an ass"!! ha!:D

Dave!

Sleepy wrote: »

A Gynocologist appointment will never be questioned by a bloke.

Bingo.

jor el

Beetlebum wrote:

I really need to take Thursday of work

jor el wrote: »

And where exactly are you taking this Thursday of work?

irishbird wrote: »

you could tell him you are going on a course to learn the difference between "of" and "off". :rolleyes:

humbert wrote: »

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I didn't want to be the pedant to point that out but it hurts my eyes.

irishbird wrote: »

takes a bow, i couldnt figure out what was being asked for a while

Subtlety ain't what it used to be I guess

Goldenquick

Tell him it's the time of the month, always gets a male boss embarrassed.

Cheeky_gal

I never give a reason...always just say

"It was unavoidable..."

Works like a charm, then again, don't listen to me, my attendance and punctuality is an embarrassment. Sure I just mitched off today and hit the gym.

slumped

You could try going for some English lessons and learn the difference between

"a day of" and "a day off"

S

thefinalstage

Tell him you met a new boyfriend and want to sex him up for a full week. Any decent man would not deny another such things!

ParkRunner

If you have any kids just say one of your kids is very sick and needs to be brought to the doc, at least you wont have to sound sick on the phone or anything..not that I'd ever do something like that

Ro: maaan!

I've seen a few threads like this in my time on boards. Something I've never understood, or asked about, is why an excuse is needed. Is it just that you don't want to use anual leave and still get paid for the day?