A few Xmas jokes

Senna

The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.
"Jesus Christ!" he shouted.
Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary; it's better than Clyde!"

********************















********************

Jim worked for An Post, his job is to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day just before Christmas, a letter landed on his desk, simply addressed in shaky handwriting to "God". With no other clue on the envelope, he opened the letter and read,
"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on the State pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had €100 in it, which was all the money I had in the world and no pension due until after Christmas. Next week is Christmas and I had invited two of my friends over for Xmas dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
God, can you please help me?"
Jim was really touched, and put a copy of the letter up on the Staff Notice board, at the main sorting office where he worked.
The letter touched the other postmen and they all dug into their pockets and had a whip round.
Between them they raised €96. Using an official franked An Post envelope, Jim sent the cash on to the old lady, and for the rest of the day all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done.
Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter simply addressed to "God" landed on Jim's desk. Many of the postmen gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read, "Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your generosity, I was able to provide a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift - in fact we haven't got over it and our priest is beside himself with joy.
By the way, there was €4 missing.
I think it must have been those thieving cúnts at An Post."

CHD

ha ha ha

patmac

Very good, that Xmas tree looks like a good DIY project for December.