Glasgow Girl

BRIAN1956

A Glesga burd goes tae the social tae register fur child benefit.
How many children?' the civil servant asks.
10' replies the girl.
10???' says the civil servant. 'What are their names?'
Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and eh Alec'
Doesn't that get confusing?'
Naw' says the girl 'it's great because if thur oot playin in the street ah jist huv tae shout ALEC YIR DINNERS READY or ALEC GO TAE BED NOW n they aw dae it'
What if you want to speak to one individually?' says the perturbed civil servant.
At's easy, ah just use their surnames!!!!'

A Glesga burd walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. 'Ah'll be back ramorra efternin tae pick up ma dress' she says.
Come again' says the clerk, cupping his ear.
Naw,' she replies 'this time it's mayonaise'

A Glesga burd enters a sex shop and asks for a vibrator.
The man says 'choose from our range on the wall'
She says 'Gies that rid yin'
The man replies 'that's a fire extinguisher'


A Glesga burd was driving down the M8 when her car phone rang.
It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her 'Listen doll, I just heard on the news that theres a motor gawn the wrang wie doon the M8, better watch yersel'
It's no jist wan motor,! said the girl 'there's ****in hunners o' them!

Hagar

Ga'way ye bampot.

BRIAN1956

Hoots mon, as I look doon for me tewer in me kastle:p
I liv n Rob Roy Castle:rolleyes: