Dream immigration policy

Diceicle

As immigration is such a hot topic the last few years I'd like to know:

If you could make up your "dream" immigration policy, what would it contain?
Mandatory basic english?
Testing for TB and AIDS for "high-risk" countries immigrants?
I.d for all?
Fingerprinting?
Deportation if crime is commited?
The decision is yours...................:cool:

biko

Send all Australians home today!

mike65

AH has been waiting so long to discuss this topic.

Mike.

Time Magazine

Open borders for all.

connundrum

Ibid wrote: »

Open borders for all.

Huzza!

leninbenjamin

Diceicle wrote: »

If you could make up your "dream" immigration policy, what would it contain?

basically put a sh*t load of dynamite along the border to separate us from the north. then blow up a f*ckton of helium balloons. put loads of dynamite a few miles under the earth. then blow Ireland off the face of the earth so to speak. then as we're hovering in the upper atmosphere attach the booster rockets and travel to mars.

that way, we wont have any more immigration problems as no one will be able to get to us (excpet for Nasa but we'll put systems in place to do deal with them). plus it has the added bonus of killing off all the poor people as they wont be able to afford the oxygen generators and artificial atmosphere containers needed for the journey. and we'll have the monopoly on an entire planets mineral resources...

longshanks

yeah thats all well and whatever, but imagine trying to get ntl to call around

purple'n'gold

My “dream” immigration policy is very doable. All non EU immigrants without proper documentation detained at point of entry and deported to where they have just come from ASAP.

Red Alert

Hot polish and/or eastern european get grants for coming here

pd101

Diceicle wrote: »

If you could make up your "dream" immigration policy, what would it contain?
Mandatory basic english?

DEFINITELY. Especially for people for who talking is part of their work.

WindSock

Deport all the lazy scumbags that never have any intention of coming off the dole over to some poor asian country where they will have to learn certain skills, like not being dependant on the state.

Raekwon

Red Alert wrote:

Hot polish and/or eastern european get grants for coming here

No 'and/or' about it, all hot Eastern European ladies should be given grants to come here. We could setup an exchange programme so that they can take our mingers.

Steyr

leninbenjamin wrote: »

basically put a sh*t load of dynamite along the border to separate us from the north.

I agree with this 100 Million %

ParkRunner

Immigration will sort itself out once the economy goes into recession. They're hardly here for our wonderful weather and the céad mile fáilte

Rob_l

Send everyone who cant speak irish and only speaks english to britain send everyone else to poland wheter thats were they came from or not Im calling them Polish.

Nermal

All quasi-Stormfronters deported to Zimbabwe, anyone else welcome.

danger mouse

send home people who cant speak a word of english.

MyPeopleDrankTheSoup

EF wrote: »

Immigration will sort itself out once the economy goes into recession. They're hardly here for our wonderful weather and the céad mile fáilte

It will for the young (and hot) polish and lithuanians but not for the Nigerian scam artists. I agree with a previous poster, complete freedom for EU citizens and everyone else deported to airport of origin.

Sleepy

A minimum of a 7 out of 10 on the hotness scale :P

More seriously, open all borders globally...

cornbb

Diceicle wrote: »

Testing for TB and AIDS for "high-risk" countries immigrants?
I.d for all?
Fingerprinting?
Deportation if crime is commited?
The decision is yours...................:cool:

purplengold wrote: »

My “dream” immigration policy is very doable. All non EU immigrants without proper documentation detained at point of entry and deported to where they have just come from ASAP.

lol. Glad ye're not in charge of the country boys. Goodbye tourism + large chunks of the workforce.

OPENROAD

Rob_l wrote: »

Send everyone who cant speak irish and only speaks english to britain send everyone else to poland wheter thats were they came from or not Im calling them Polish.

Very few people left then.

OPENROAD

danger mouse wrote: »

send home people who cant speak a word of english.

does that include the " all right bud brigade"

Overheal

Keep bringing in all the people that want to work and get all these racist irish scumbags that larf around on the dole out of my 2nd country.

nesf

A dream mandatory emigration policy would be excellent.

Being able to forcibly export most of the Pale would be a great start.

Sleepy

nesf wrote: »

A dream mandatory emigration policy would be excellent.

Being able to forcibly export most of Cork would be a great start.

I fixed that for ya nesf

Capt'n Midnight

Dream ?

only allow immigration for seriously hot babes

Lands Leaving

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Dream ?

only allow immigration for seriously hot babes

So no more polish men then. Halfway there

Capt'n Midnight

Lands Leaving wrote: »

So no more polish men then. Halfway there

Hey no discrimination here, I don't care where they come from as long as they is hot

EamonnKeane

send home people who cant speak a word of english.

Ach céard faoi mhuintir na Gaeltachta?

Santa Claus

I've no problem with people coming over here if they want to contribute something to the country but would definitely agree with deporting those who have commited crimes (1 serious crime or repeated petty offences).

Also, could we limit put an annual quote on the amount of americans coming over to "Find their roots"....I reckon i could probably tolerate them if there wasn't so many of them !

AngryHippie

Don't knock the curious Yanks, They are proppin up our tourist industry, Besides its fun fillin them up with sh1t ! they rarely immigrate anyway, they just come over here on a bus full of other blue rinses flutein round Kerry on buses. Fine by me....
As for other immigrants, Anyone who isn't here to scam is welcome, If you get caught scammin, you get a tattoo to that effect and sent home. Thats my policy, not a tatoo on the forehead or anything, I nice wee one on the right wrist, possibly with something ironic as gaelige written in old Irish, It'd look well, and the next time they come over to sign on and sell some smokes, they can get the frim boot in the boll1x they deserve and sent straight back, with another tattoo, second time is on palm of left hand, a barcode with original passport no. etc on it. Its only fair......

monosharp

Dream immigration policy ?

Ban all Americans from travelling to Europe or Asia or anywhere actually! I can't stand them, its no longer a case of "Most of them are tossers" or "some of them are ok". The vast vast vast majority of them are complete muppets who are wasting oxygen.

Any of them who have half a brain usually have dual-citizenship with another country anyways (i'll compromise and let these guys travel) and YES I know a lot of these human sized maggots have Irish decent. American culture just breeds stupidity and ignorance.

Canadians must pass a basic knowledge test and a specially designed "Am I an ignorant twat who should be suffocated" test.

Honestly, I know smart decent Americans exist, where the hell are they ? Cause I've never met any smart AND decent ones. I met a decent one, and a smart one before but not both in the one package.

Robbo

Dream immigration policy? Nightmares detained at the border and a strict embargo on cheese before bed.

I make no apologies.

congo_90

check criminal records. Give them 3months to get a job or get lost.
If they don't have valid documentation then stick them on a boat to wherever they came from.
Finger print them and make sure they're clean. IE; nothing like AIDS. We don't need it here.

Tha Gopher

Raekwon wrote: »

No 'and/or' about it, all hot Eastern European ladies should be given grants to come here. We could setup an exchange programme so that they can take our mingers.

In fairness they have their fair share aready. Do you know any of them, or is your opinion based on the fact you want to lamp the two fine yokes in your local abras and you saw two fine blonde leather clad Pole women on your way home.

Having worked with litreally 100s, in terms of the proportion with the looks Id fa rather have Irish women. Ive no idea where this AH E Euro women thing comes from, most people i know in RL would far rather their work was packed out with Irish than poorly dressed birds who dont care for their appearance.

Diceicle wrote: »

If you could make up your "dream" immigration policy, what would it contain?
Mandatory basic english?
Testing for TB and AIDS for "high-risk" countries immigrants?
I.d for all?
Fingerprinting?
Deportation if crime is commited?
:

All of the above, for common sense as opposed to racism.

condra

I don't agree someone should be denied entry for having HIV/AIDS. Seems pretty harsh.

I do agree that serious criminals should be deported.

I wish people would take this topic a bit more seriously, but I suppose, its "Rec > After Hours".

KingOfFairview

Mandatory basic english?

Yes, say a test a year after you get here to show you've at least learned the basics.

Testing for TB and AIDS for "high-risk" countries

Doubt it would be constitutional, in any case it smacks of dehumanising people

I.d for all?

No, but if Irish people ever need one, then it follows suit everyone in Ireland would too

Fingerprinting?

Absolutely not, this isnt the US

Deportation if crime is commited?

If violent, then yes

Jumpy

biko wrote: »

Send all Australians home today!

I think the many Irish living it up in Australia would not like the repercussions of that :P
We get sent home to a lovely, well run, sunny place, and you get shipped back to this windy, rainly, scumbag infested...*ahem*, I mean... well organised country.

AngryHippie

I'm not even sure about that one to be honest,
To be fair, I've heard plenty of Irish people who's attempts at communicating in English have been borderline incomprehensible, at least somebody learning the language has an excuse for their ability levels, Most of them do make the effort. I think mandatory attendance at English class (not of the "myles" type) would be a better idea, perhaps a smattering of Irish history and culture could be introduced to this, just to give these guys a chance.

I also agree that Irelands immigration situation will probably change as the demand for employment drops, and they find it harder to get jobs, The flux will switch back to the UK and other EU countries.

RandolphEsq

Does anyone know what the implications are for immigration after the Leontjava v. DPP case in 2004? I cannot make head nor tail of it

Rob_l

KingOfFairview wrote: »

Absolutely not, this isnt the US

its already here aint it fingerprinting
http://www.siliconrepublic.com/news/news.nv?storyid=single7398

Lux23

Diceicle wrote: »

As immigration is such a hot topic the last few years I'd like to know:

If you could make up your "dream" immigration policy, what would it contain?
Mandatory basic english?
Testing for TB and AIDS for "high-risk" countries immigrants?
I.d for all?
Fingerprinting?
Deportation if crime is commited?
The decision is yours...................:cool:

What kind of crimes? Would they be deported for traffic offences or parking tickets?

KingOfFairview

Rob_l wrote: »

its already here aint it fingerprinting
http://www.siliconrepublic.com/news/news.nv?storyid=single7398

:eek:Pardon my ignorance. Did not know that.

blah

AngryHippie wrote: »

To be fair, I've heard plenty of Irish people who's attempts at communicating in English have been borderline incomprehensible,

Well maybe those guys should be given mandatory english lessons too!

SubjectSean

First in first out policy. All the Normans and Vikings should f**k off and stop crowding me out. I can barely move my elbows and it's getting too hot in here. Oh no hang on a second I'm tripping, it's f**ken freezing, there's loads of space and no fear at all of me being overcrowded.

I have freinds in the "third world", they're mostly poor and hungry. I can go there anytime, they can't come here at all. Looks alot like apartheid to me. You're asking me what kind of apartheid I'd like the best. For a country that spent the last eight centuries exporting its citizens around the globe we sure turned our backs on the past real fast once we got a bit of cash. Humans should have free movement on the face of Gods earth. It is our birthright.

Raekwon

Tha Gopher wrote:

In fairness they have their fair share aready. Do you know any of them, or is your opinion based on the fact you want to lamp the two fine yokes in your local abras and you saw two fine blonde leather clad Pole women on your way home.

Having worked with litreally 100s, in terms of the proportion with the looks Id fa rather have Irish women. Ive no idea where this AH E Euro women thing comes from, most people i know in RL would far rather their work was packed out with Irish than poorly dressed birds who dont care for their appearance.

I had a feeling that my post would smoke you out

To answer your question, of course I know some Eastern European women, I wouldn't make a statement like that if I didn't. I am engaged to a Czech girl (going out with her for nearly 4 years) and I have made friends with loads of Eastern European's that I are living in Dublin over the last few years. In fact my best mate is going out with a lovely Slovak girl that he met through me & my girlfriend. It's way more common then you think.

As for the women who work in your office :rolleyes: Okay fair enough, there are some German birds built like tanks and Spanish girls that wear horrible 80's clothes and thick rimmed glasses but if you actually go to places like Madrid or Berlin I guarantee that your opinion will change about them instantly.

For the record, I am 28, travelled loads and worked with hundred's of different nationalities over the years and I have to say that IMO (okay I'm obviously abit biased) Czech/Slovaks are the best in my experience when it comes to looks and personality.

Diceicle

Lux23 wrote: »

What kind of crimes? Would they be deported for traffic offences or parking tickets?

Havent really thought about it in great detail, I was just being devils advocate. Seeing as how you asked though violent or sexual crimes should be a deportable offence. As for lesser crimes, if the person is a persistent offender and deporting them is an option then I say go for it.

As for the mandatory english, I think speaking the local language to an efficient degree is necessary for a cohesive society. A friend who is a garda has related stories of foreign nationals being involved in traffic accidents and by them having poor english getting a straight story is a near impossibility.

Morlar

Mine would be . ..

Mandatory clean bill of health - as an example for each aids victim we admit the eventual direct and indirect costs (ie for every subsequent person who gets infected) can be ruled out to a large extent by this simple policy.

Mandatory background check - and no criminal background - this would include fraud/robbery & any crime with violence. The specifics could be flexible - ie a doctor who bounced a chequeue as opposed to an unmarried mother of 14 with 56 shoplifting offences. Flexibility would be the order of the day and if over the course of several years of this one or two inconsistencies cropped up - then tough.

If you commit rape/murder your deported on the last day of your no remission sentence.

If you are a persistent petty criminal including shoplifting - 3 strike rule then bu-bye.

Mandatory minimum level of english.

It would help if we could cherry pick those with skills that the country needs -' its not about what you want its about what we need' would be the new slogan.

Enough funds to support yourself if the new job you already lined up before applying falls through.

All immigrants to pay the full total cost of administering the system without constantly whining on and on about it like its sooo unfair that its the end of the world.

No expectation of a free house, free car or free anything.

No social welfare until you have paid into the system for at least 6 months.

Paid re-patriations on request for family emergencies etc

OPENROAD

AngryHippie wrote: »

Don't knock the curious Yanks, They are proppin up our tourist industry,


Its actually the British who are propping it up.

Overheal

monosharp wrote: »

Dream immigration policy ?

Ban all Americans from travelling to Europe or Asia or anywhere actually! I can't stand them, its no longer a case of "Most of them are tossers" or "some of them are ok". The vast vast vast majority of them are complete muppets who are wasting oxygen.

Any of them who have half a brain usually have dual-citizenship with another country anyways (i'll compromise and let these guys travel) and YES I know a lot of these human sized maggots have Irish decent. American culture just breeds stupidity and ignorance.

Canadians must pass a basic knowledge test and a specially designed "Am I an ignorant twat who should be suffocated" test.

Honestly, I know smart decent Americans exist, where the hell are they ? Cause I've never met any smart AND decent ones. I met a decent one, and a smart one before but not both in the one package.

Here I am, but I don't want to know you. I wonder why.

I don't have dual-citizenship. Pittance really, I have been here 7+ years. My reasons for not getting one are my own. And no its not out of patriotism - how silly.

Its not our fault, really: at one point it was our fault but that was a long, long time ago. But since World War II we pretty much began fearing our own government: and anyone who disagreed was labeled a Communist. The same patter has applied for decades. If you disagree you're a Terrorist or an Enemy Combatant.

Well, I disagree. Im sure within moments of this post the CIA will pick this up on their internet spying network. but they'll probably ignore it. and may as well do: one check on my background should show me fairly harmless.

See I have had the distinct priviledge of having moved out of the country just 6 months before Bush was elected. I've seen it all from the outside. From the 9/11 attack, the invasion of Iraq - and the bombing of civilians due to 'smart bomb malfunction', right on up to last year's activation of the P.A.T.R.I.O.T. Act. Very few americans in the media will ever throw up a flag to any of this and theyre usually ignored: the likes of Michael Moore (who's latest film, Sicko, was even harder to find showing than Fahrenheit 9/11) and Jon Stewart (http://www.thedailyshow.com). But they get it right. Oh yes.

In fact MY immigration policy is to rescue as many Americans as possible - best to get them over here just in time to start secondary school: which I enjoyed, and actually learned where england was on a MAP! A REAL MAP!

etc. I'd write more but dinners up kthxbye ^_^

Tha Gopher

Raekwon wrote: »

I had a feeling that my post would smoke you out

To answer your question, of course I know some Eastern European women, I wouldn't make a statement like that if I didn't. I am engaged to a Czech girl (going out with her for nearly 4 years) and I have made friends with loads of Eastern European's that I are living in Dublin over the last few years. In fact my best mate is going out with a lovely Slovak girl that he met through me & my girlfriend. It's way more common then you think.

As for the women who work in your office :rolleyes: Okay fair enough, there are some German birds built like tanks and Spanish girls that wear horrible 80's clothes and thick rimmed glasses but if you actually go to places like Madrid or Berlin I guarantee that your opinion will change about them instantly.

For the record, I am 28, travelled loads and worked with hundred's of different nationalities over the years and I have to say that IMO (okay I'm obviously abit biased) Czech/Slovaks are the best in my experience when it comes to looks and personality.

Ah, you recall I was somewhat drunk last night posting.

Aye, i do go on, its just the whole thing on AH baffles me in work.

And oh yeah, Slovakia is a different kettle of fish. Im not sure it actually contains any ugly women