Stardate...Charlie's Log

Charlie_Boswell

This is something I've been wanting to try for a while, I've tried keeping a diary but never get beyond page two! maybe this will be different.

A bit of background on Charlie
I've stammered all my life with varying degrees of severity, In the last couple of years (now in my 30's) I have matured a lot and accept my stammer as part of me. like many others I am very sceptical of any "blue pills" or other rabbit hole wonder cures that are out there.

I tackle my stammer by constantly working to increase and maintain my confidence level. When I was younger I went to speech therapy in the then SHB in cork's St Finbarr's with a good deal of success (for a time).

What I'm interested at the moment is exploring my stammer and trying to push out my comfort zone to try situations that I would normally avoid, My biggest bad habbit is not keeping eye contact when I block. Anyway i'm sure I'll fill in more of the gaps as I go along.

PS for any "fluent" readers on the board firstly welcome! secondly If you read this and think "Christ this is sad" try the little experiment below to see what it is like to be a stammerer.

Understand a stammer's perspective
You'll need a friends help for this, During a day ask your friend to walk behind you and every so often give you a little slap on the head (not hard enough to hurt, just to make you aware they are there) This has to be completely random and in different situations, ie in a shop asking for a packet of fags, when another friend comes by to say hello, when your placing an order in a restaurant. Your accomplice must be totally commited to this and be completely random, sometimes leaving you be completely uninterrupted - other times only slapping you on specific words or not letting you get a single word out. Sounds funny at first, but it gets very ******* annoying after a while I bet you:eek:

Things to look out for.
- Other people's reactions
- Your level of anxiety when you are about to say something
- Try telling somebody what you are doing and see if they are understanding enough to stay and wait for you to speak.

On with the log..Stardate...
4th December 07
Todays experiment was I decided to go and price attic insulation as I find it difficult to say "insulation" I made a couple of phone calls first to build up confidence and went out at lunch. I went to two places and asked about the various types and prices, stammered through the first one a bit and found it hard to keep eye contact, the second attempt was a much greater success, kept eye contact chatted for a while got the information I wanted.

Success rating 4/5

Charlie

Charlie_Boswell

9th December
Was in B&Q today for something and wasn't really thinking about my speech much, I stopped on of the assistants and when I asked him for what I wanted as per usual I looked down and away, I spoke relatively ok but couldn't keep eye contact. F**K

I walked down a different aisle and stopped another assistant. asked the same question got the same answer...BUT KEPT MY EYES ON HIS UGLY HEAD!!:D he must have thought I was a fecking weirdo!:D But I walked away with a feeling of achievement.

I know If I can get over keeping eye contact I'll be more fluent!


Charlie

Charlie_Boswell

Had to stand in for somebody today in work which meant I had to use the PA system. What a Feckin Disaster! I walked up to it and pressed the button to speak, (this shuts off the music playing in the store so there's relative silence) Nothing not a sausage could I get out. ever since I'm walking around like a feckin headless chicken. F**K. I'm working late tonight so by the end of the night I'll be paging the pope and his mother if it kills me.:mad:

Does anyone not like using PA systems or is it just me??
Charlie

Charlie_Boswell

Hi All below is a post I've posted on another forum..Thoughts and feedback welcome.

Charlie.


Tackling Avoidances
Hi All,
After reading a fair few of the posts on the forum for the last few weeks since I joined, I can see that there are a lot worse off people than me when it comes to my stammer. As has already been said in a few posts, I am probably more self conscience of my speech than anyone else takes notice of it. However in the last 6 to 12 months I too have been going though a bit of a life change, I now have a lovely son and it scares the sh!t out of me to think he may one day develop a stammer like me, and I'll do everything I can to make sure that does not happen.

So, after a long intro here's my challenge/struggle. Over the many years I have built up hundreds if not thousands of avoidances for words and situtations that I find difficult. I want to tackle these but find that my speech is noticably worse since I've started doing this. Part of me is saying to forget tackling these - afterall everbody has some situations that they'd rather avoid. But as I've said above I want to tackle this.

I don't know what I'm looking for here, Maybe its just the motivation to keep going. Has anyone here been in this situation, Has anyone kids growing up, Have they developed stammers? Does anyone know the likelyhood of this occuring?

Charlie.

DeVore

Cool, very interesting.... you might think about a blog (you can get one here on the site). I'm sure a lot of people (stammerers and otherwise) would find it interesting.

DeV.

ParkRunner

It is definitely genetic, sometimes it might skip a generation. I can understand how you feel that you wouldn't want your son to develop a stammer after going through life with it yourself. When I was younger I felt the same way saying to myself how could I live with myself knowing how hard it is to cope with a stammer, only for my son or daughter to develop one too. I dont have any children yet myself but someday I am hoping to have them.
If your child develops a stammer so be it, at least you would have a good idea how best to deal with it yourself and be able to give them support. I would think the worst thing that you could do is to put pressure on your son to try and speak properly if he does develop a stammer as he would only get self concious about it then himself from an early age.

Charlie_Boswell

EF wrote: »

It is definitely genetic, sometimes it might skip a generation. .

I often thought about this and I don't think it is genetic, sure some people may be predisposed to it but I think its down to something in childhood, something happens that is engraved in engrams on the brain. From there its just various habits and personal traits reinforcing habit

EF wrote: »

If your child develops a stammer so be it, .

don't get me wrong but not having children yourself thats easy for you to say. Its like somebody having a congenital heart defect and having to wait years to find out if your child has the same condition. Untill you wear the shoes I don't think you can walk the line.

EF wrote: »

at least you would have a good idea how best to deal with it yourself and be able to give them support. I would think the worst thing that you could do is to put pressure on your son to try and speak properly if he does develop a stammer as he would only get self concious about it then himself from an early age.

Thats true, and its something I'll have to explain in time to my parents and family, I won't be putting any pressure on him to speak properly and I'll have to make my parents aware not to do the same. I do think though thats its a lot to do with self confidence, and If I have my way he'll be at the top of the class, front of stage and not afraid to speak his mind at any time.

Thanks EF for your comments.

Charlie.

Charlie_Boswell

DeVore wrote: »

Cool, very interesting.... you might think about a blog (you can get one here on the site). I'm sure a lot of people (stammerers and otherwise) would find it interesting.

DeV.

Took your advice dev and set up http://mystammerandme.blogspot.com/ Its a first for me but I'll see how it goes..

Thanks,
Charlie