Manly Injuries

Zaph

Yeah, but your's is voluntary Kaz

pretty-in-pink

Your story makes *me* wince in pain.....and gag a little. I'm seeing tinned spagetti and meatballs for some reason...

ugh
ugh
too far
must go wash my brain

l3LoWnA

This is absolutely not a manly injury but I'm sure you men will sympathise a bit....

I had third degree (or worst possible...) natural tear when I gave birth.....my whole sphincter muscle was torn completely in two and from front to back passage was completely torn open the whole way up to my womb - got 146 stitches with the doctor needing to use FORCEPS (while I was in stirrups, extremely uncomfortable) to open me up to reach the top of the wound (and was awake for all two hours of stitching with only slight local anaesththic....this, my friends, was all AFTER I'd gone through labour and delivery.....very traumatic experience)

Oh and half way through the stitching the doc got a bit excited and pulled too hard on the "thread" and stitch went right through, blood splattered everywhere and gasps were heard from the onlookers. Got a few sympathethic glances from younger staff (there were about 7 people present for a look.....trainee midwives, trainee ambulance man, nurses, midwife, few doctors, supposedly it is a rare occurance or something...) :rolleyes:

Anyways, I healed perfectly thank god (some women end up incontinent after the degree of damage I had...and I was told I'd almost definately suffer in the long-run but I ddn't), although I bathed in tea-tree and lavender oil baths 5 times a day for a month and also had to take strong pain-killers for a month and also drink lactose or glucose syrup, can't remember now - whatever makes you have soft stools! Coldn't even carry my baby for a month either and was kept in hospital for 7 days

OH woe is me...


'[Edit] I will not be posting a pic either!

l3LoWnA

ruthiedv wrote: »

You haven't really lived till you've had an episiotomy:eek:

At least they're planned!!

5starpool

l3LoWnA wrote: »

'[Edit] I will not be posting a pic either!

Thank God/Allah/Buddah/Jebus etc for that.

l3LoWnA

5starpool wrote: »

Thank God/Allah/Buddah/Jebus etc for that.

On second thoughts....

(had to delete that picture - gross)

Kazobel

smashey wrote: »

That made me laugh. Don't worry Kaz, all dangly bits are intact and staying that way.

Yeah but by the sounds of it I bet they're more "dangly" than normal :D

Kazobel

zaph wrote: »

Yeah, but your's is voluntary Kaz

Naaa there's a big difference between "voluntary" and "nessassary", I never chose this, it was inflicted on me when I was four years old and I first became aware of it. Given the choice no TS would chose to be TS. I've lost 2 kids through courts, have no real rights as regards male and female rights in the workplace or as a parent and we aren't really seen as people (well other than on here because I know you all try and I always appreciate that) in the same way as genetic males and females are. I'm only funny at times because I try to ignore all that, and try to in some way come across as normal, but at times it eats away at me

R33F

Usual Rugby Injuries: Busted nose, busted fingers, Arthroscopy to both knees, eyebrow(s) opened several times.

Mountain Biking: Busted sternum, busted fingers, busted wrist, and a million of these.... well up too about 5 - 6 at least.

congo_90

bohernabreena forest+mountain bike+16 years old...

Was on a mountain bike going down a dirt track, over taking scramblers(fast).. came to a bend. bike hit a bump in the ground. wrapped half myself in the bike frame. other half around a tree. Took two people to untangle me. Cuts and bruises left rite and centre. Pulled 2 ligaments. a big dirty 6inch scar on my thigh. also bruised pelvic area. luckily my package survived because point of impact was two inches above.

was told not to do anything like it for a month minimum. 3 weeks later went out on a friends bike and tore the ligaments that were just recovering. ouch.

Another biking incident:
Bike+hill near dodder park road coming from shell garage+lexus turning left.

Freewheeling down hill age 14 thinkin everything is fine without helmet. car rollin beside me on the road. junction up ahead.car turns me 'oh sh1t' bang. bike stops. my feet get caught in wheel arch of the shiny new lexus. due to laws of physics my feet acted as a lever forcing me to slam face first into a road sign on other side of car. I would say if it was on video ya would be p1ssin yourself laughing. at me flying across the bonnet into the sign.

lastly:

Drink+bike+rocks @night

Tried cycling through a gap in between rocks to take a short cut home. my right foot caught on a rock. and ended up tangled. After laughing at me, my friends freed me and i observed damage next day. nothing major. Sore head and about 2inch section of skin behind my knee hanging off... that wasn't nice so off to hosp with me!

ruthiedv

smashey wrote: »

I now have a nice 's' shaped scar as proof and I will not be posting a pic.

How can you possibly see a scar on one of those things, they're all wrinkly anyway:D
You'll just have to post a pic to show us;)

It sounds kinda like my fella's vasectomy which he would be only too happy to describe in all its glory if he weren't so busy...shame eh:D

jester77

Couple of footballing ones from when I was younger.

Playing a tribute match for one of our players who drowned against a local club. Things started getting a bit hairy and I ended up on the ground. Someone came in and stamped on my face, the stud of their boot wedged in at the side of my ear canal where the jaw connects to the skull. Riot broke out and game abandoned. Couldn't open my mouth for ages.

Playing in the Leinsters colleges against some team from Dublin. Ended up on the ground and some ****wit stamped me in the groin. Knob was black and blue for ages, hurt to piss and couldn't even have a ****

_blank_

Brother(ette?) smashey, that was a horrible story.

smashey

DesF wrote: »

Brother(ette?) smashey, that was a horrible story.

Des, I'm all brother.

niceirishfella

jester77 wrote: »

Knob was black and blue for ages, hurt to piss and couldn't even have a ****

Bloody hell..........I'm glad you did'nt post any pics :eek:

Maple

Fell off the bannisters as a kid pretending to be Colt Seavers,The Fall Guy. Broke my arm.

Out cycling one day and cycled into the back of a car, broke front tooth.

living in Italy about 8 years ago and out on the lash one night, one of the lads tripped and bumped me. Stumbled down about 10 of those old rough hewn stone steps. Stood up and thought i was ok. Woke up the next morning with my ankle ballooned up, black and blue everywhere. On crutches for a month.

Robbo

The only time I've given myself a decent injury whilst drinking was on the way down to the beach with a bottle of brandy in my hand. I was in an advanced state of refreshment from a long session and my foot slipped in the rocks.

I twisted knee ligaments and fell flat on my face, thus giving a rather fetching black eye.

I never spilled a drop.

Zaph

Robbo wrote: »

I never spilled a drop.

Bravo Brother Robbo

trout

Robbo wrote: »

I never spilled a drop.

*quake voice* modlike

Wacker

Drunken dancing like a lunatic has resulted in my right knee-cap travelling two inches to the right on five separate occassions. The first time was in Whelans, to Here Comes Your Man by the Pixies. Absolute agony; ambulance, ice, etc. The second time was in Bakers Corner, to Bulls on Parade by Rage. Ice, taxi home. The third time was in Whelans again, to Killing in the Name again by Rage. I saw down for about ten minutes and got up dancing again! It was like for the subsequent ones too.

mox54

v sore!:)




wound!!.JPG

old boy

my prob now is i got arthritis, and i can barely walk

Dun laoire

mox54 wrote: »

v sore!:)




wound!!.JPG

Thats what happens when you tell your crazy girlfriend to "speak to the hand"

pretty-in-pink

Dun laoire wrote: »

Thats what happens when you tell your crazy girlfriend to "speak to the hand"

That was no wimmin bite!

Mr. CooL ICE

Just remembered this after smashey's story

Was out one bank holiday Saturday after been drinking since the afternoon that day. Was in a horribly drunk, yet horny state by the time we went to the nightclub. Went out to 'work my magic' on the dance floor, and pulled some random girl, who then dragged me outside and up an alleyway, and proceeded to 'feel nuts' and pet the snake, etc. After I somehow got rid of her and met up with my mates again, we all went to the local Supermac's, where I decided to take a piss. While standing at the urinal, I noticed my white t-shirt had some blood stains on it, but I assumed it was ketchup.

Woke up the next morning and Mini LordChessington was feeling quite sore. Stumbled to the bathroom, went for a piss, and noticed there was quite a lot of blood there. After a highly confusing, yet panicky clean up of the area, I found the source of said blood. An elongated graze from the 'eye' down the side of the top was the answer. It didn't stop bleeding for a few days, as I was unsure how to treat it.

Well, met the girl out the following night... Well, she met me, as I hadn't a clue of what she looked like, as I was so sh1tfaced. Well, she had a crazy massive jagged ring on her finger, which I assume is to blame for my injuries

monkeyfudge

I have a scar on my chest from when someone tried to murder me via a stabbing.

Luckily I have a concave ribcage so none of my internal organs were ruptured. I tend to heal up pretty well, so the scar isn't overly impressive unfortunately...

uptherebels

got a spike from one of those security fences through the palm. goalie in a soccer match-dodgy slide tackle- fractured elbow and forearm played last twenty mins with only one working arm tankfully it didnt go to penalties

fenris

Slightly crunchy pelvis after a sub-genius decide to turn right while looking left creaming me and my bike!



Still bloody sore and makes airports and Hodges Figis at christmas interesting!

On the plus side reading certain books while on morphine lead to interesting visions, with the bonus that most of those books seem to end completely differently now!