Some People Annoy Me

I rarely drink. Maybe as little as 4 times a year (I don't see the point of it most of the time, you pay a load of money just to feel sh1tty the next morning). So I don't like to go out into a pub or club, as drunk people annoy the hell out of me when I'm sober (it comes from working in pubs a few times and seeing some really bad stuff and people at their worst).

Yet, for some god awful reason, some people can't get this into their head. I've had arguements with various people who just wont leave me alone about not going out, despite the fact that I've explained to them my situation. Some think its not right that I don't like going out, but in my personal opinion, it's not right for anyone to go out so damn much. But, hey, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Kintarō Hattori

Like yourself I don't drink all that much. I prefer to stay in have some folks over for dinner, that kinda thing. I can't say I've ever encountered a situation where people have been hassling me to go out. Most of the folk that I know accept that I don't drink that much and prefer to stay in and as a result don't give me grief about it.

Is it your friends hassling you?

eo980

eo980 wrote: »

Like yourself I don't drink all that much. I prefer to stay in have some folks over for dinner, that kinda thing. I can't say I've ever encountered a situation where people have been hassling me to go out. Most of the folk that I know accept that I don't drink that much and prefer to stay in and as a result don't give me grief about it.

Is it your friends hassling you?

Yeah, a few people have.

My housemate was the worst. She spent about a good twenty minutes telling me how bad it was that I didn't like to go out. I explained how things are to her. She continued on another ten minute rant before I said, "screw this, I'm out of here", abruptly stood up, walked up to my bedroom and slammed the door. Yet, here's the weird thing, she wouldn't let it drop. She then proceeded to follow me, and stand outside my door for another ten minutes telling me how bad it was once again.

I have the patience of a saint and am not a violent person, but I swear had I stayed in that room I would've punched her.

Archeron

While I do enjoy a drink, I would only go to pubs maybe 4 times a year. I wouldnt be bothered about going to the local like most people because like the OP, drunk people bug the sh*t out of me. I used to be a regular pub goer til about 4 years ago when I realized I didnt like it anymore.
At first, I used to have people pass comment about how I'm weird or odd for not going to the pub, but I would rather stay in and have people over, or rent a film, or whatever. Now people are used to it, so dont really mention it anymore.

I feel going to the pub is for the most part a waste of money, and the only time I would go would be special occasions to catch up on old friends I havent seen for a while. Even then it would be social drinks instead of getting wasted like so many people seem to.

liljenny

theres nothing wrong with not wanting to go out all the time or even drink, i very rarely drink and im not mad about clubs and neither is my boyfriend so your certainly not the only one, tell the people who are at ya to go out and drink to leave ya alone its just your choice of lifestyle

cooperguy

As annoying and all as that may be look at it like this. They enjoy your company and being out with you and are possibly worried you dont socialise enough. Why dont you suggest going to stuff like comedy gigs or local concerts with them where you dont have to drink if you dont want to.

Fabio

cooperguy wrote: »

As annoying and all as that may be look at it like this. They enjoy your company and being out with you and are possibly worried you dont socialise enough. Why dont you suggest going to stuff like comedy gigs or local concerts with them where you dont have to drink if you dont want to.

That's a real possiblity there actually. They may be just caring...though a little too much for you.

Some of my friends push me a little too as regards simpyl not drinking. I will go out now and then but not often really and I simply have a softdrink or whatever and keep an eye out for my friends if they are taking a little too much of the alcohol.

At time though some of them can get to me as they launch into stuff like "why don't you drink?" or "why not have just one?" or whatever. Sometimes the odd sly dig in my direction does hit and though it may be funny to them, to me it ain't and I let them know.

Hope this helps you a bit...you might feel better knowing that you ain't the only one!

Earthhorse

When I first gave up drink in my early twenties it took absolutely ages for my friends to accept it. I mean years. And for a long time they would still ask would I have a pint even though nothing in my situation had changed. Eventually I cut down on going out; it was just annoying being hassled to drink the whole time and besides getting drunk was the main reason most people were there.

Since then I've been through phases of going out a lot and not going out much. I think it gets easier as you get older, or maybe I have simply gotten better with practise. The thing is you have to seperate drinking from going out because Irish society is never going to do it, so unless you have some other social outlet you'll be sitting at home a lot.

I do agree that it's frustrating getting asked about it all the time and having to explain it to every new person you meet but I find the more comfortable you are with it the more comfortable people around you will be with it too.

cooperguy wrote: »

As annoying and all as that may be look at it like this. They enjoy your company and being out with you and are possibly worried you dont socialise enough. Why dont you suggest going to stuff like comedy gigs or local concerts with them where you dont have to drink if you dont want to.

This is a good suggestion and very insightful in my opinion.

legspin

Even now, people I have known for years will express surprise that I don't. I don't really care, it's their mistake.

Lil' Smiler

Hey,

I'm 21 and have 1 or 2 friends that don't drink. We've never had an issue arise where it's become that we've hassled them or anything. I just accept it's their choice. Maybe it's because I'm not a huge drinker, I do like to have the odd drink and then sometimes go out and over indulge but generally if I'm "hungover" I don't whinge about it and stuff, it's self inflicted so I just get on with it and usually I'll drink plenty of water so as not to feel that way.


And I really think fair play to people who don't drink and go out and still enjoy themselves with people falling all over the place. I know it can bug me alot when I'm driving so I cnat think of how hard it is to put up with it sometimes..

hmmm... that is all!

geminilady

i got that a bit last year. I dont drink having started and prob wont and at my debs and grad my mates were always like "Going, have one" but they were more nagging which was annoying, now in uni there seems to be lots more people that dont drink from when i was in school! Yeah im not big into going out either, rather go to the cinema and watch a decent movie with popcorn and chocolate!!!!

Kintarō Hattori

Fair enough they may be worried the chap doesn't go out all that much. If the guy can give them good valid reasons for not wanting to go out then they should leave him alone. Not everyone cares for socialising. And in fairness most socialising these days in Ireland involves going to the pub and spending ludicrous amounts of money on drink. I'd much prefer going for some grub every once in a while than going reguarly to the pub.

As I said if he can provide a sound decent reason why he doesn't go out that much, then they should leave him alone, if they really are his friends then they'll understand.

Nightwish

I rarely drink (2-3 times a year) and I hate the alcohol orientated social scene here. On a Saturday night I love to curl up with my boyfriend and watch a dvd. I love not being hungover on a sunday morning, not having to figure out how I spent €80 the previous night. The girls I live with are the polar opposite. They spend the week counting down to their next night out. At first they hassled me a lot about not going out, and called me anti social. On a sunday however they are jealous of me, and understand where I'm coming from. I just come out and say I'm anti social and settled whenever they say anything to me now.

KlodaX

I think people don't like being around other people who are sober when they themselves are drinking .. it makes them feel like they are being judged .. or that their drunken actions will be remembered in detail by the sober person.

Iroically its the sober persons actions who end up being judged.

I will be drinking ginger ale in the pub this Christmas and will not be letting on its alcohol free .... its just easier that way. What a bizzar society we live in.

I tried to be a drinker for years... largely because it is socially acceptable ... it just doesn't suit me ... I love to socialise but not drink. And as a previous poster said the two are not the same thing and need to be differenciated.

it feels like there should be a sobers anonomous!! Or a sober and proud parade

Mweelrea

Deleted User wrote: »

I rarely drink. Maybe as little as 4 times a year (I don't see the point of it most of the time, you pay a load of money just to feel sh1tty the next morning). So I don't like to go out into a pub or club, as drunk people annoy the hell out of me when I'm sober (it comes from working in pubs a few times and seeing some really bad stuff and people at their worst).

Yet, for some god awful reason, some people can't get this into their head. I've had arguements with various people who just wont leave me alone about not going out, despite the fact that I've explained to them my situation. Some think its not right that I don't like going out, but in my personal opinion, it's not right for anyone to go out so damn much. But, hey, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Does this happen to anyone else?

It all boils down to how much drink is embedded in our society.People therefore can't understand why some people don't drink as its such a prominant part of irish culture eg: how many towns in Ireland don't have a pub on the main street?
None in my experience

unreggd

I dont drink anymore, and never drank too much anyways

But i still like goin out with my friends, have a great laff in clubs, bit o dancin, score some birds!
all in the comfort of my proper judgement

It does my head in when people moan at me for not drinking. I dont understand why it bothers them so much, esp when they're "havin so much fun bein locked"

on a typical night out, one of my friends will moan cos im not drinkin, then moan cos they saw I had just as much, if not more fun as them, and im not dyin the next mornin, bar lack of sleep

One of the main reasons i dont drink is cos my mam has a drinkin problem and it caused so much crap I jus decided years ago its unnecessary and i dont wanna end up like that. ever.

I never tell people this reason, but maybe if i do they finally back the feck off!

But at the end of the day, i know im [shyly] confident without drink, and im far from bein a DROY SHOY!

Stoner

yeah , i get hastle cos i dont like pubs, but now about 4 of 5 of the lads dont drink so all is good.

af_thefragile

Its a little worse when you're in coll dude.
Where everyone around you is constanly partying and getting drunk and its pretty much all they seem to do.
Even on sports clubs trips or something, most people just stay in all the time getting drunk rather than going out and enjoying the sport.

Worse is when you're like the only one left out not drunk and everyone around you is drunk and doing stupid things which you don't find amusing at the least, end up getting extremely bored.

I've got a few friends who don't drink but majory of em are of the getting pissed kind.
The whole going out to clubs and getting drunk thing never amused me. Now you class mates even start calling you anti-social or a loner when they're all going out to get pissed and you'ld rather prefer to stay in and have more quality time.
You start to question yourself is drinking everything having fun is about?!

Huh, i need to find more people who're more like me n know there are better things to do than getting drunk all night.

Dagon

I genuinely never minded being around drunk mates, and even doing silly things with them. It's cool to let your inhibitions go, and I don't need drink to do that..

But for some reason, after I met my girlfriend I just don't *ever* want to be around if she's going on the tear. Strange... cos I never minded seeing my friends getting drunk. And I'm not judgemental, I just feel really *weird* if she starts getting drunk around me, don't know what it is...

She hardly drinks anymore now though (thats because of hanging around with me all the time I guess! lots of nights in with a bottle of schloer), and after 2 or 3 she's pretty drunk cos her tolerance is gone way down...

metaoblivia

I've never been drunk. I have maybe 5-6 drinks a year, and of those, I finish about 1 (I'm a slow drinker with all drinks, alcoholic and non-alcoholic alike). I live in Boston. People think I'm very strange because when I go out, I order a water or soft drink. Some people tell me that they're going to get me drunk, I just haven't yet because I haven't felt safe with anyone and don't know anything about alcohol. That's kind of annoying, because then it's like I feel forced into explaining why I don't drink and my personal experiences with alcohol. I had one girl tell me that there must be something wrong with me, if I didn't know how to have fun like everyone else. I told her that I had plenty of fun dancing and socializing with people when I was sober, and thought that maybe something was wrong with people who need a drink to have fun.
I don't mind going with friends who have a few pints. I rather enjoy knowing that at least someone in the group is sober, and I don't need a drink to loosen up or throw my inhibitions aside (I'll work that pole completely sober!). But some people still think there's something wrong with me, and that if I get drunk I'll magically discover how wonderful drinking is. These people are usually men (sorry boys!), and I can't help but think that they're driven by ulterior motives.

johnnyskeleton

Just to throw a spanner in the works, I don't see why there is this need to be a positive non drinker and to dislike people who go to the pub and get drunk. If I, for example, don't like the game of golf, it wouldn't annoy me if my friends (who like golf) keep asking me if I want to get involved, play a few games or watch some of the majors on Sky.

Can you not have good times when drinking, and good times when not drinking?

If you go to a pub and don't drink, you probably need to have a much better personality than someone who does drink (otherwise you will be sitting alone looking rather foolish).

As someone who has by turns gone out on the absolute lash, stayed in instead of going out, gone to the pub and not drank, gone to the pub and had a sensible amount of sauce, I can honestly say that drinking (and more particularly going to the pub) has it's place in our society. If you don't want to drink that's fine, but it might be no harm for you to go out to the pub with your friends just for the social aspect.

spinandscribble

i think the problem with some ppl is they feel that by you being annoyed with the drunken pubs/clubs and the ppl you'd find there you're saying there is something wrong with them. thus to feel justified in their actions so they lash out or try and change you.

i used to never drink. i have a alcoholic parent and in many ways its destroyed so much. while i now might drink once or twice a month (without a straight out aim 99% of the to get drunk, that 1 % being times i really shouldnt be and for the wrong reasons) but even then i wont always drink alcohol.

i have no problem with drink its our drunken culture. if you could promise me no drunk ppl would be out every night i'd probably be out more but when i see a clearly drunken person, as silly as it sounds it gives me horrible flashbacks to my family. it doesnt always happen and only happens with strangers which is why clubs on a whole are out the window for me even though i like to dance.

Pj!

I often think I would like to give up beer but it's never going to be easy. Life gets very boring without it for me. I can still go to the pub of course, but I just wouldnt get on as well as with a few beers. I'd be a lot shyer, wouldnt chat to as many people, and would probably feel awkward.
But then sometimes I do go out and drink, I get on great, till late in the night when I make a fool of myself, and end up depressed for a couple of days.
Don't have a girlfriend, which I reckon would make it a lot easier to stay in. And to be fair I'd say well over 90% of couples around here are formed in the pub or club.
Tomorrow for instance there will be loads of us in the pub from fairly early on and I know that it will be great craic, looking forward to it to be honest. If I wasn't drinking for the rest of my holiday, I would be longing to get back to work (even though I don't particularly enjoy it, just as something to do).

I suppose thats my main problem, a good alternative, but there is nothing around here.

dr_manhattan

"If you don't want to drink that's fine, but it might be no harm for you to go out to the pub with your friends just for the social aspect."

actually, from what people say here and from my experience (I was off drink for three years) actually not drinking in the pub is *not* fine with irish people, they don't accept it at all, and unless you fake it - someone here mentioned pretending ginger ale was alcoholic - you will be pestered.

It's just a fact, it doesn't "drive me up the walls" but I tell you when I didn't drink, it did annoy the hell out of me...

I don't have a massive issue with the hassle, and I enjoy a drink since I'm off the wagon, but I *completely* understand why people just don't want to engage and I'm also tired of people mindlessly praising "the social aspect" of drinking: these people are usually the ones who can't remember a thing on a sunday morning in my experience.

The pub is no better or worse a place to socialise than anywhere... it's just a better place to *drink* than most places. Stop pretending.

On the subject of drunken shenanigans: I recently had the charming experience of watching a (now ex) sexual partner completely lose the run of herself at a party: she drank a litre bottle of vodka in about an hour, ran amok being a complete slapper (it started with "everyone feel my boobs", went through the nasty flirtation and ass shaking and "ssh everyone I'm gonna SING!" phase, and culminated in her snogging two people and vomiting all over the bathroom. She was passed out in a bed by 10.30, we only got there at 8. We're both 35 btw... it was almost funny)

Not only does she not see a problem with subjecting me to this (we had only started dating and I was at the party to meet her mates... who were lovely, and kinda sympathetic lol) but she's accused me of creating a problem where there is none, and "going out of my way to be mean to her" by saying I was mortified and can't see her as a partner anymore.

I mean is it just me, or is that really pathetic?

Lucky escape for me, you might say... except I like this girl a lot, and I feel really sorry for her. I'm not sure I can continue being her friend cos I just massively lost respect for her...

Sorry for rambling, what I'm trying to say is that it's amazing the denial that comes with this "oh go on have a drink" culture, and the confidence people have that they're doing the right thing. At one point this girl was telling me about how there were worse drunk people at the party, and that that particular weekend was - on average - the biggest drinking night before xmas... so what was my problem?

Anyways, just dropped in here cos it seemed like a good idea fir a forum in Ireland. G'luck ;-)

the_syco

dr_manhattan wrote: »

"If you don't want to drink that's fine, but it might be no harm for you to go out to the pub with your friends just for the social aspect."

actually, from what people say here and from my experience (I was off drink for three years) actually not drinking in the pub is *not* fine with irish people, they don't accept it at all, and unless you fake it - someone here mentioned pretending ginger ale was alcoholic - you will be pestered.
I mean is it just me, or is that really pathetic?

It's pathetic not to drink in a pub. Mate went off the drink for 6 months; he was losing weight, etc. He drank orange juice. Anyone asked him, he said he was on a diet, flexed, and he was left at that.

Also, it's pathetic not to have fun. Some people need the drink to loosen up. Others can loosen up without drink. If you can't loosen up without drink, don't go to the pub, or you'll be pestered to drink, as your mates know you're fun when you're drunk. If you can loosen up, drink orange juice, you'll be left alone, imo.

Oh, and in the nightclub: walk around with an empty dark coloured bottle:D works a charm when broke, so it may work if you don't want to be pestered.

dr_manhattan

"It's pathetic not to drink in a pub."

a very progressive attitude: I have to say, as a pub drinker myself, that I think it's pathetic to have an opinion like this ;-)

Endless fools every night of the week, so concerned about missing anything that might be funny or cool, running around trying frantically to figure out the big question: "what's everybody doing later" - that's not pathetic?

I mean "pathetic" is your idea - but if it's an appropriate adjective for the drinking scene, then I would *very much* say it describes drinkers way more than non-drinkers.

"works a charm when broke, so it may work if you don't want to be pestered."

Doesn't change the basic twisted nature of the situation:

If you don't want to have to explain why you're *not* drinking (get the twist? explaining why you are *not* doing something is ridiculous) then you have to somehow pretend to drink.

That's "pathetic", imho, having to explain yourself to someone who can't formulate a ****ing sentence.

"nuuuhhh hooow cuuum yeeewww doooaaan't driiinnnkk"?

Is it not obvious?

"Anyone asked him, he said he was on a diet, flexed, and he was left at that."

good for your mate.

However, how would you feel if everyone you met in the pub asked you "why are you drinking"?

You'd think they were nosey assholes with too much time on their hands, right?

think about it.

the_syco

dr_manhattan wrote: »

However, how would you feel if everyone you met in the pub asked you "why are you drinking"?

I'd ask why are they in a pub:D

When you say that you weren't drinking, you mean only water, minerals, or what?

A pub is a place to drink. If you don't want to drink, don't goto the pub.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

I rarely drink. Maybe as little as 4 times a year (I don't see the point of it most of the time, you pay a load of money just to feel sh1tty the next morning). So I don't like to go out into a pub or club, as drunk people annoy the hell out of me when I'm sober (it comes from working in pubs a few times and seeing some really bad stuff and people at their worst).

Yet, for some god awful reason, some people can't get this into their head. I've had arguements with various people who just wont leave me alone about not going out, despite the fact that I've explained to them my situation. Some think its not right that I don't like going out, but in my personal opinion, it's not right for anyone to go out so damn much. But, hey, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Does this happen to anyone else?

I go out with my friends for a few hours until they're drunk, then I go home. We're all happy with that.

As for not drinking[alcohol] while there, noone cares. My friends are used to it, and it's nobody else's business.

I had one girl tell me that there must be something wrong with me, if I didn't know how to have fun like everyone else.

While I have no problem with people drinking and drinking for fun, if someone was that pushy at me, I'd tell them they must have some serious issues if they need to have alcohol to have any fun whatsoever.

johnnyskeleton

dr_manhattan wrote: »

"If you don't want to drink that's fine, but it might be no harm for you to go out to the pub with your friends just for the social aspect."

actually, from what people say here and from my experience (I was off drink for three years) actually not drinking in the pub is *not* fine with irish people, they don't accept it at all, and unless you fake it - someone here mentioned pretending ginger ale was alcoholic - you will be pestered.

You're going to be asked why you're not drinking because it is unusual and people are curious, that's all. People who, for example, are out of work will often be asked by their mates what they're doing, and they will have to say (often times quite embarrased) that they are unemployed. If someone asks you why you're not drinking just tell them, make a story out of it and have a good time.

dr_manhattan wrote:

The pub is no better or worse a place to socialise than anywhere... it's just a better place to *drink* than most places. Stop pretending.

It's not a better place to socialise - it's the only place to socialise in Ireland. Bar sports and a few other activities (which are usually followed up in the pub) there's not much else to do in Ireland. We have no late night cafes to go to, a lack of decent public places and the only place to go to meet your friends in public is the pub.

dr_manhattan wrote:

On the subject of drunken shenanigans: I recently had the charming experience of watching a (now ex) sexual partner completely lose the run of herself at a party: she drank a litre bottle of vodka in about an hour, ran amok being a complete slapper (it started with "everyone feel my boobs", went through the nasty flirtation and ass shaking and "ssh everyone I'm gonna SING!" phase, and culminated in her snogging two people and vomiting all over the bathroom. She was passed out in a bed by 10.30, we only got there at 8. We're both 35 btw... it was almost funny)

What a legend.

NonDrinkersClub

I dunno about the rest of yiz but I'm so tired of having the same conversation about why I don't drink. The words 'I just don't' are never enough. The words 'I can't drink' only lead to more questions about what terrible affliction could have caused this inability to drink. Then there's the good old 'I don't like the taste' which turns into a discussion on all the different flavours and types of alcoholic drinks that are available...

I used to mix it up a bit just to keep myself interested...sometimes it would be an 'allergy', other times it was a 'test of willpower'...then there's the good old 'one too many' speech. When the topic comes up, no matter what you say, it always puts a dampener on any conversation with someone who's drinking.

r3nu4l

Deleted User wrote: »

I rarely drink. Maybe as little as 4 times a year (I don't see the point of it most of the time, you pay a load of money just to feel sh1tty the next morning).

If you feel sh*tty the next day then you had too much. Simple as that. It really is possible to go to a pub and have one pint or two at the most and then switch to Lucozade, 7up or your soft drink of choice.

So I don't like to go out into a pub or club, as drunk people annoy the hell out of me when I'm sober (it comes from working in pubs a few times and seeing some really bad stuff and people at their worst).

This I can understand completely, some drunk people are very annoying but to be honest, I find it depends on the type of pub you are going to.

I personally can't stand the type of bar that I have to pay to get into (:eek:) and then having to stand for the entire night while shouting as loud as I can to my friends just so they can hear me over the music. That's not for me. I like nice, quiet pubs where not everyone is acting as though they are in a race to finish their pints first or drink more than everyone else.

Yet, for some god awful reason, some people can't get this into their head. I've had arguements with various people who just wont leave me alone about not going out, despite the fact that I've explained to them my situation.

As I say, it depends on the venue. I have a question for you. Do you just not like going out fullstop or would you like to go out to places where alcohol isn't involved. If it's a case of you just not liking to go out anywhere or socialise with other people fullstop, then that is a problem.

Some think its not right that I don't like going out, but in my personal opinion, it's not right for anyone to go out so damn much. But, hey, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Well see what I said above. I think it's fine for non-drinkers to not particularly like going to the pub but to not want to go out and socialise anywhere is a bit of a problem.

T runner

Great forum

Stopped drinking about 6 years ago: fed up with the getting pissed/hangover routine at weekends.

After giving up I found I had loads of free time so i took up things I was really interested in: things I liked as a kid or things that i wanted to try but never had the time or will: this ranged from travelling around the world, scuba diving, reading, even mountain running!. I go out to pubs/clubs rarely, a special occasion or to watch an important soccer match on pay per view.
Most of my friends drink but my friendships were built through non drinking activities and they are genuine.

If friends are giving you grief it means they could be closed minded in that they cant invisage an enjoyable night out without drink and assume it is the same for you. This is common in drinking (and drug) cultures and sheds more light on their personalty than yours.

If the majority of your friends have this attitude you need to get some more ones. Take up something you always wanted to do, treat yourself, enjoy life, you will make friends on the way who will respect your right to live as you choose. Let the drinkers have their small world and you take everything else! Well over half the adult population are not heavy drinkers.

Johnnyskeleton, I think the dislike is not to drinkers but to people harassing other people to go out and drink. Look at this scenario: if someone who didnt drink started lecturing their drinking friends constantly about the ills of drinking, how they were selfishly spending all that time and money on themselves, walking the house coming in pissed, acting unacceptably and often agressively towards others etc. etc. etc. How long would the open minded drinkers tolerate that?
Drinking/ not drinking are more life choices --the golfing comparison you made earlier doesnt really fit here.

If you think the pub is the only place to socialise in Ireland then you are very naive. I socialise most nights, am rarley in a pub.

Live as you see fit and let others live as they see fit

johnnyskeleton

NonDrinkersClub wrote: »

I dunno about the rest of yiz but I'm so tired of having the same conversation about why I don't drink.

So why are you not only posting in this forum, but seemingly only joined www.boards.ie to have converstaions about why you don't drink (on the internet).

johnnyskeleton

T runner wrote: »

If you think the pub is the only place to socialise in Ireland then you are very naive. I socialise most nights, am rarley in a pub.

How do you manage that? The cinema, where you are forced to be quiet? The cafes, which close at 6pm? The streets?

NonDrinkersClub

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

So why are you not only posting in this forum, but seemingly only joined www.boards.ie to have converstaions about why you don't drink (on the internet).

Actually, I joined www.boards.ie to set-up this forum and start organising some much needed social events for non-drinkers. I also think it's good for people to have a forum where they can voice their opinions about drinking as it is an interesting topic that affects us all.

mickoneill30

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

How do you manage that? The cinema, where you are forced to be quiet? The cafes, which close at 6pm? The streets?

Restaurants, at your home, at other peoples homes, at sports, at parties, at places where you have common interests.

I drink too, just not like a fish. After a couple of pints I'm fine. People see it as a challenge I think. When I say no to a beer then it's "do you want wine" then "would you like a short" then "are you sure" then wait about 30 minutes and begin again. It doesn't annoy me to keep on saying no though. It's not really my problem if people see the need to keep on drinking and don't understand that I don't need to.

ellenmelon

whats really bad is people buying me drink that i just wont drink! why waste your money on me when i wont drink it...i drink veeery rarely and if i do, its things like fruity cocktails and i'll have two at most as they can be expensive.
i have no problem with people going out, drinking, whatever but it isnt the only way to socialise..

Hrududu

People who, for example, are out of work will often be asked by their mates what they're doing, and they will have to say (often times quite embarrased) that they are unemployed.

Yeah but they don't then follow it up with loads of other questions like "Why are you unemployed?" "Are you unemployable?"

dr_manhattan

"Yeah but they don't then follow it up with loads of other questions like "Why are you unemployed?" "Are you unemployable?""

exactly.

Also, when i didn't drink it was for very personal, immediate and stressful reasons: I deeply resented friends-of-friends repeatedly asking, co-workers assuming I was an alcoholic, just really nosey and shallow behaviour.

Funnily enough the least sensitive reactions were all from gay men: ironically enough, one of them was still in the closet to his family and co-workers but had no problem screeching "wha? ye don't EVER drink???" at me in the pub... dunno if that's a gay thing or what lol.

I mean someone who you work with and barely know, assuming you're an alcoholic and then bringing it up in conversation with you and saying "it's no problem if y'are like"...? That's just ignorant.

MLE

NonDrinkersClub wrote: »

I dunno about the rest of yiz but I'm so tired of having the same conversation about why I don't drink. The words 'I just don't' are never enough. The words 'I can't drink' only lead to more questions about what terrible affliction could have caused this inability to drink. Then there's the good old 'I don't like the taste' which turns into a discussion on all the different flavours and types of alcoholic drinks that are available...

I used to mix it up a bit just to keep myself interested...sometimes it would be an 'allergy', other times it was a 'test of willpower'...then there's the good old 'one too many' speech. When the topic comes up, no matter what you say, it always puts a dampener on any conversation with someone who's drinking.

I hear you, I get the same A LOT but people I know just accept it. I like going to pubs with some friends but I wouldnt go to them that often and I only ever go if there was a good crowd going. I do enjoy the social element -- to the point when you can no longer have a conversation with people when they are past the point. Then I would leave.

I think it makes them nervous that some people can have a good time without drink, and it make them nervous that you could remember everything they said/did and so thats why they give us a hard time I think.

Lockstep

Deleted User wrote: »

I rarely drink. Maybe as little as 4 times a year (I don't see the point of it most of the time, you pay a load of money just to feel sh1tty the next morning). So I don't like to go out into a pub or club, as drunk people annoy the hell out of me when I'm sober (it comes from working in pubs a few times and seeing some really bad stuff and people at their worst).

Yet, for some god awful reason, some people can't get this into their head. I've had arguements with various people who just wont leave me alone about not going out, despite the fact that I've explained to them my situation. Some think its not right that I don't like going out, but in my personal opinion, it's not right for anyone to go out so damn much. But, hey, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Does this happen to anyone else?

I have exactly the same problem. Since moving to Ireland I feel annoyed at how much the social scene revolves around alcohol. I feel like a total pariah in that I don't drink (for personal reasons). In countries I lived in before, you'd drink a bit with people but it was far more for social reasons. here everyone just goes to get pissed.

I cannot bring myself to go out to pubs in Galway with the other students so I feel cut off from the people I made friends with at the beginning of college.

NonDrinkersClub

kickoutthejams wrote: »

I have exactly the same problem. Since moving to Ireland I feel annoyed at how much the social scene revolves around alcohol. I feel like a total pariah in that I don't drink (for personal reasons). In countries I lived in before, you'd drink a bit with people but it was far more for social reasons. here everyone just goes to get pissed.

I cannot bring myself to go out to pubs in Galway with the other students so I feel cut off from the people I made friends with at the beginning of college.

Ireland is definitely a mental country for the drinkin'! Where are you from?

BossArky

NonDrinkersClub wrote: »

Ireland is definitely a mental country for the drinkin'! Where are you from?

Probably England!

gondorff

The main problem is that alcohol is big business. Get everyone, especially young people, drinking by making it look hip and cool.

Everyone's doing it! It's the thing to do!

'Please drink Bud etc sensibly'. These horrible slogans are not telling people who already drink to do so in moderation, but quite the opposite I'm afraid. They are also appealing to people who don't drink at all. Hey have a Bud! It'll cure you of your abstinence!

I, for one, am not buying.

T runner

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

How do you manage that? The cinema, where you are forced to be quiet? The cafes, which close at 6pm? The streets?

Johnny, i socialise wherever I please. Restaurants, cafes, friends houses (for lots of stuff) football matches, mountain runs, reading/poetry nights, club houses, on boats,
under bridges, etc etc etc. These are just a few examples.
When I drank the answer was "pubs". and i was not socialising in the correct meaning of the word.

boringteetotal

Its really comforting to see that other people other than myself don't drink!

I think water is the most satisfying thing ever! No really..

I actually cut off from an entire social group because I literally could not handle the peer pressure and seeing people act stupid when drunk-it drove me mad!!

One girls' attitude was I want to get as drunk as I possibly can without dying.
That's creepy!!!!

Nolanger

Do anything sensible in this country and people will moan.