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Mile high !

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  • 06-12-2007 7:19pm
    #1
    dak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭


    The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.
    As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be super."
    On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
    "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines.
    I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
    She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess.
    I take orders from no one."
    To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
    Now put the tray up, Bitch."


    ********************************************************
    Father O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for solong, that he decides to take a vacation.
    He has never been marriedand he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life.
    So,he decides to go to the States before it is too late.
    He hops on theplane bound for Nevada.
    He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas.
    As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis"
    Oh my God"
    It's Elvis"
    I knew you weren't dead Elvis"
    How have you been?"
    Father looks at her and says, "Get outta meface.
    Can't you see I'm not Elvis?
    I don't look a thing like Elvis."
    The father moves on to his cab waiting outside.
    He hops in his cab andhe's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me to my hotel andstep on it."
    The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God!It's Elvis"
    I knew you weren't dead"
    I'm your number one fan"
    It's sogreat to see you!"
    "Shut up, you imbecile.
    I'm not Elvis"
    Now turnaround and drive!"
    So, the cabby speeds up to the hotel.
    Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter.
    "Oh my God"
    Oh my God!It's you!"
    screams the hotel clerk.
    "You're back Elvis"
    I knew thisday would happen.
    We saved everything just the way you like it"
    Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs, complementary hookers and a full liquor bar"
    I'm so glad you're back!"
    Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, "Thank you...
    Thankyou very much!"


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