Disapproving parents

Star Lord

Farohar what you're describing in your second "rant" there is more nurturing than "planning their future". The first one came across more as having a plan laid out for your child to follow, which is just wrong, or more imposing and dominating.

But anyway, how about we get back on topic?

Even if the parents disagree with the idea of the tattoos n piercings, I think involving them in the planning process at least shows that you do want and value their input, and may bring them round more.

Quattroste

Back on topic as we have discovered..... some parents will be OK with the tattoo/piercings idea, some will have to be encouraged to do so and some will be totally against it.

My parents were totally against it and I respected their wishes. I even believed that I would regret it if I got a tattoo. 18 years after I became and adult I still had the desire to get a tattoo and still thought they were cool, so I got one. Do my parents know? no.

My children ask can they get one and i tell them when they are 18 they can decide for themselves. I would like to be involved should they decide to do so. If they want art on their body then they should choose a good artist and a good image that will stay good for evermore.

I don't believe you should tell children NOT to do the wrong thing but rather encourage them through education(and not the schooling type) to do the right thing.

Sean7

My mother hates my tattoos but she loves me so it's not really a big deal. Just cause you have a tattoo won't change how your parents think of you. They'll be pissed off for about a day at most. By the time, you get your second tat/piercing they won't be bothered complaining again. That's what I've found anyway. I haven't lived at home since I was 17 though so they really didn't have much say in whether I got tattoos or not. Maybe if your parents are supporting you financially or something it might be different, but I imagine the reaction is much the same. It's not the kind of thing people stay mad about.

Crumble Froo

haha, my 40 year old mate told his dad, who flipped

RubyXI

I wanna get a tattoo but to be honest i would be a bit worried what my parents would think. yes i am way too old for them to have any say in it. and theyr not even against tatts but i just have issues with them knowing id want one. I know its complicated and doesnt make much sense.

Star Lord

phi3 wrote: »

...i just have issues with them knowing id want one...

Honestly, I don't get it... If they're not against tattoos, where's the problem with them knowing you want one?

RubyXI

i'm not sure. it's complicated. i have issues

Crumble Froo

is it the fact you'd want tattoos, or what the picture would actually be? my parents will never know most of the reasonings behind mine, cos it's just too personal... ill freely tell people in general, but i do have issues with my parents knowing.

RubyXI

just the fact that id want one. I'v always kinda been the black sheep of the family so sometimes its hard to do things i want but they've never considered. i know i'm my own person n all its just a bit difficult sometimes.

Crumble Froo

fair enough. all i'll say is to just go for it if you are sure you want it, for your own reasons.

Will

you dont need to be the black sheep of the family to have piercings or tattoos, how old are you phi3? if its an issue for your parents and you dont want em to know wait till you move out etc. when you are your own person
have a talk with them and see, really its about you and what you want, not anyone else

just read some more... think about it some more then. you sound a bit mixed up, maybe waiting a while is the best thing

RubyXI

ya i am mixed up but this isnt really the right bored for talkin about that i gess.

Will

true BUT if i were you id wait, tattoos you dont want to rush or get when youre in the wrong frame of mind

RubyXI

ya, iv picked the design i want but im gonna wait a while to make sure i want it

Star Lord

I'd say hold on to that design, this is something that's going to be on your body for the rest of your life. You really don't want something that will appeal to you now when you're feeling as you are, that a few years down the line you may totally regret, that only reminds you of the times when you weren't feeling great.

Rhiannon14

narco wrote: »

GOD****INGDAMMIT!

i've just typed up TWO quite long responses and BOTH have been ****ing lost as the ****ing thing has signed me off before i got the chance to ****ign post :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

basically i was saying keep communication lines open.

****ing ****ed up piece of ****ing ****! *kicks computer*

aw *empathy*


As for the tats I never thought about getting them until college and then the opportunity arose once, twice, thrice...etc. Mom had issues dealing when she first noticed them and gave out about it. Now, years later, she's up and gotten her leg done. Odd situation

Kastro

a few weeks ago in the shop here in waterford we had a guy come in with his 19yr old daughter, he was getting a tattoo done, she had protested about wanting to get one done, while in the shop he tryed to get us to talk her out of it.. so i talked to her while her dad was in the chair getting some colour added to his arm, eventually after me talking and talking there was no changing her mind, her father was fairly unimpressed and he started giving out to her, she went ahead anyways and got herself the usual lower back tribal that she brought with her.. he father was cringing with the pain of the tattoo on his tricep, she took the tattoo not a bother on her, her father was quiet embarrised that it didnt fase her at all.. in all.. i guess some parents can be hyppocrits or overprotective, some like mine just didnt care, as for every parent and child their bond and relationship is diffrent to the next.. ive seen some people freaking out about thier "kid" going to be tattooed and when its done their 20year old son or daughter are praised because it was a remberance tattoo or a homage to something meaningful.

bottem line is, its your body, your temple, you have your whole life to decorate it.. why do it all at once?

jenizzle

My Da has been pretty good with regards to all the mods I have... he asks questions like what needles do they use and how they do it. My mother always said I'd be a nacker if I got anything except ears pierced... when I came home with my "first" piercing (labret) she didn't even notice!! Nobody had anything to say about my first tattoo, but the ones on my lower arms have caused a bit of a fuss. I don't even know why, its not as if its my first visable mod!

At the end of the day, they see that I'm much more comfortable in my metallic inked skin, than I ever was before. Also, I think their lack of knowledge has something to do with them over reacting a li'l.

Will

educating parents these days can be soo difficult
*rolls eyes* haha

Decided to finally go ahead and get my tattoo done. I've booked a visit for this Friday week. Hopefully all going well there will be no complications.

Getting the back of my neck pierced the day before, should be fun.

garthv

I nearly got kicked out of my house when I came home with my first piercing. I got the top of my ear pierced and my dad blew the lid. Went on and on about how I looked like a girl and I never should have gotten it done without his permission (I was 15 at the time).

The next week I came home with my tongue pierced so there was not much more they could do. It kind of became a game for me after a while though...to see how shocked my parents were after I would show them my latest piercing. The best reaction I got was from my nape piercing though, my mother couldn't get her head around the why or the how of it. Luckily for them they don't know about my PA!

Star Lord

Don't think mine will ever know about my PA either!!! (hopefully!)

Tricity Bendix

My mam cried when she saw my first, but I think it was because I had bled like a mother during it, so it looked quite gory under the clingfilm. I had to explain that it didn't hurt at all. She knew I had been planning it for over a year, but I don't think she ever expected me to go through with it (I'm definately not a black sheep!).

For my second I told her over the phone as I was living in NY at the time. She had just found out that my sister got her tongue pierced, so I figured that the heat would mostly be on her! She didn't like it at first, but she started coming around when I explained what it meant to me and how it was actually based on advice she has been giving me over the years.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Star Lord

If your mum admitted to liking the piercings, why not talk to her about the tattoo/tattoos that you want... ?

Tell her you're aware of the aunts/uncles who got the silly tattoos before that they regretted, but you really want to have a piece of art on your body and that you are gonna put a lot of thought into what you want done, and that you'd really appreciate if she was ok with it, and maybe even helped you in your decision.

popecatapetal

I wrote my mum a letter, so I could make my points clearly and not get upset or interrupted. She read it last night, said it was well worded, and that she understands why I like mods. But that doesn't mean she has to, and she will still be upset when I get a new one. Which wasn't quite what I was hoping for, but hopefully she'll get used to them with time. I suppose it's as good an outcome as I could have expected.

Crumble Froo

good for you

angry_badger

My mum no longer cares about anything i get done now, think shes finally realised that its part of my life so just respects that, with my dad however, its a different story, as far as he's concerned i must be in some mad drug induced state to even consider doing what i do to my body!!

What makes it mad tho is it takes him ages to notice anything new i get, took him a fortnight to notice my cheek piercings an to this day i don't think he's ever noticed my tongue piercings, all 5 of em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Star Lord

popecatapetal wrote: »

I wrote my mum a letter, so I could make my points clearly and not get upset or interrupted. She read it last night, said it was well worded, and that she understands why I like mods. But that doesn't mean she has to, and she will still be upset when I get a new one. Which wasn't quite what I was hoping for, but hopefully she'll get used to them with time. I suppose it's as good an outcome as I could have expected.

Congrats, that seems like a pretty positive result

If nothing else, she may take more interest in your body mods!

Gauge

My mother brought me for my first piercing at age 14. Sometimes I wonder if she regrets it.

Bless her, it took a while for her to come around. When I got my nose pierced a year later she told me it was ugly, I'd ruined my face, and all that. I started getting some ear piercings and stuff not long after. Over time she just got used to them really. My stretched ears really bothered her, because they weren't as common as navel and nose piercings and they do have a sense of permanence- she told me many times 'Please don't get gigantic holes in your ear.'

I included her in everything and never hid them from her (except for one or two she doesn't need to know about!) It's been seven years since I've first got pierced and nothing awful has happened to me. It meant a lot to me when she finally accepted my ears because I know they bothered her- now she compliments me on the jewellery, once a stranger pointed them out and she started telling them the details of the whole stretching process! Now if she sees a person with stretched ears she points them out and even says that she likes them. It's strange, but nice.

Tattoos are a different story- I'll probably be slightly back to the drawing board again. I've been including her in all my plans so it won't be a shock when I do get them done, but she worries that I'll regret them in the future and that's understandable. TV shows like Miami/LA/London Ink are a godsend because she watches them with me and they've dispelled her original impression that all tattoo artists are old men working out of dirty basements and such.

Most of my relatives are fairly eccentric and relaxed about things, except for my grandmother who asks me every time she sees me when will I be taking that disgusting metal out of my face. My dad isn't really concerned by it- he doesn't even notice the piercings.