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What are effective ground rules for a family?

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  • 10-12-2007 12:06am
    #1
    inishindie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭


    Hi

    We are a family of four and need some good ground rules in our family for mutual respect. Have you any that works for you?

    Cheers


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    #2
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    By a family of four - two adults and two children or single parent three children?
    I'm one of four kids, and to be honest, ground rules can be hard to establish as you need to have everyone follow them. What ages are we talking about?

    (also perhaps parenting forum might have helpful suggestions too)


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    #3
    Dizzyblonde
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,110 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dizzyblonde


    Hi,
    My daughters are grown up now and I never actually laid down any set rules, but I found that if my husband and I treated each other and the girls with respect then they learnt by example and we didn't have any problems with lack of respect. It's like manners, if children hear their parents say please and thankyou then they'll automatically do the same.
    Something I found worked for us, too, is to not come across as shockable to your children when the tell you about things that happen outside the home, or if they tell you a rude joke that they heard. If they think you're shockable then when they get to their teens they'll tell you nothing. It's important to foster an atmosphere of openness from an early age.
    These are things that worked very well for us.


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    #4
    inishindie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭inishindie


    Thanks Dizzyblonde. Great advice.

    It sometimes feels that we ought to just ease off a bit with the preaching! Leading by example is the way to go!

    Hey star -pants. I didn't even know that there was a parenting section! I am a bit new to this and glazed over half way down the index list!!

    Cheers


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    #5
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    moved to the Parenting forum.
    B


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    #6
    silja
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭silja


    In my family, what really made me feel valued as a kid is that everyone listened to eachother. That doesn't mean I was allowed to mouth off, or that my parents did what I wanted, but I was allowed to voice my opinion, and they didn't laugh at it or talk over me, they let me finish.


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    #7
    Dizzyblonde
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,110 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dizzyblonde


    silja wrote: »
    In my family, what really made me feel valued as a kid is that everyone listened to eachother. That doesn't mean I was allowed to mouth off, or that my parents did what I wanted, but I was allowed to voice my opinion, and they didn't laugh at it or talk over me, they let me finish.

    That's a very important point. Parents who 'talk down' to their children cause a huge divide. It's important to treat children as intelligent beings and not just bark orders at them.


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