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"If Jesus was a Dub" after FM104's Phoneshow - anyone has it?

  • 11-12-2007 4:45pm
    #1
    hrwath
    Registered Users Posts: 7 ✭


    Hey.

    I was listening to the yesterday's Phoneshow on FM104 and there was a short "novel" after it called "If Jesus was a Dub". Does anybody have it maybe?

    Greetz.


Comments

  • #2
    P-mac
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29 ✭P-mac


    The Story of Christmas (for Dubs)


    Dere's dis boord called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wharevor dah is).
    She's not married or nuttin', but she's got dis felleh, Joe, righ'? He
    does joinery an' all dah. Mary lives with him in a flah dowwen in Nazareh.

    One day Mary meets dis yungfelleh Gabriel. She's like "Wha are yeh bleedin'
    lookin' ah?" Gabriel just goes "You're fookin' pregnant so yeh are".
    Mary's scarleh. She gives him a fookin' earful: "Are you bleedin' startin'?
    I'm no fookin' sluh. I never bin wih no one!"

    So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
    Liz is on a mad buzz, bud. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an'
    all.

    She sez te Mary "Ah howeyeh, Mary, I can feel me chiseller in me
    stummick and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all deh money we'll be getting
    from deh social." Mary goes "Yeah, s'pose you're righ' ".

    Mary an' Joe haven't goh a fookin' bean so they have to ponse a donkey,
    an' go dowwen te Behlehem on dah. Dey get to dis boozer an' Mary wants to
    stop, yeah? To have her yungfelleh an' all.

    But there's no fookin' no roohem at the inn, righ'? So Mary an' Joe
    break an' into this garridge, only it's filled wih animals. Cowis an' sheeps
    an' all.

    Then these three lads tourn up, lookin bleedin' rapih, wih crowens on
    der heads an' all dah'. They're like "Ah Jaysis, howeyeh!" an' say dey're
    deh tree wise men from de East Wall.

    Joe goes: 'If you're so bleedin wiyis, wha de fook are yizzer doin' wih
    dis Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why didn't yeh just bring gold, 20 Blue and Boorberry?'

    It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got
    anudder message bout some Punchis Pilah' hardchaw.

    He's like 'Deh coppers is comin an' they is killin all de chisslers.
    You better fook off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be fookin' off yer
    bleedin' rocker if yeh tink I'm goin' te fookin' Egypton a fookin' donkey'
    Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, bud. But it's your look out if yeh stay.' So
    they go dowwen teh Egypt till they've stopped killin deh foorst-born
    an' all an' annyways it's safe an' dah.

    Then Joe and Mary and Jaysis go back to Nazareh, an' Jaysis turns water
    inteh Dutch Gold.


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