Harmony!

dak

* A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK!
Careful! CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you
LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving."

**************************************************************************
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if y ou can raed tihs forwrad it.

*****************************************************************************
Colonoscopy
>
>
>
>All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
>trying to decide who was the one in charge.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>"I should be in charge," said the brain ,
>"Because I run all the body's systems,
>so without me nothing would happen."
>
>
>
>
>
>"I should be in charge," said the blood ,
>"Because I circulate oxygen all over
>so without me you'd all waste away."
>
>
>
>"I should be in charge," said the stomach,"
>Because I process food and give
>all of you energy."
>
>
>"I should be in charge," said the legs ,
>"because I carry the body wherever
>it needs to go."
>
>
>
>
>
>"I should be in charge," said the eyes,
>"Because I allow the body to see
>where it goes."
>
>
>"I should be in charge," said the! rectum ,
>"Because I'm responsible for
>waste removal."
>
>
>
>
>All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
>And insulted him, so in a huff,
>he shut down tight.
>
>
>Within a few days,
>the brain had a terrible headache,
>the stomach was bloated,
>the legs got wobbly,
>the eyes got watery,
>and the blood Was toxic.
>They all decided that the
>rectum should be the boss.
>
>The Moral of the story?
>The ******* is usually in charge !!

*********************************************************************
YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT



YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH



DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute.
Work this out as you read.
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.





1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)



2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)



3. Add 5




4. Multiply it by 50



5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757 ....
If you haven't, add 1756.





6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.




You should have a three digit number
































The first digit of this was your original number
(I.e., how many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are



YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)





THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

mc nuggets

That last one is scary

A Primal Nut

The last one is dumb - its just a more complicated way of saying x2007-x1986 = x21. Just coz I'm bored:

((x*2)+5)*50+1757-y=z
Therefore;
100x+2007-y=z
where y is year your born, z is (age + 100x) and x is a random number. What's the point?

other jokes were good tho

rocky25

I like:)

dak

A Primal Nut wrote: »

The last one is dumb - its just a more complicated way of saying x2007-x1986 = x21. Just coz I'm bored:

((x*2)+5)*50+1757-y=z
Therefore;
100x+2007-y=z
where y is year your born, z is (age + 100x) and x is a random number. What's the point?

other jokes were good tho

Lighten up Einstein. This is a humour forum!

rocky25

I wonder if Einstein is going to see his Relativity’s this Christmas:rolleyes:

:|

rocky25 wrote: »

I wonder if Einstein is going to see his Relativity’s this Christmas:rolleyes:

oh no....no....:(

Kat1170

The last one is dumb - its just a more complicated way of saying x2007-x1986 = x21. Just coz I'm bored:

((x*2)+5)*50+1757-y=z
Therefore;
100x+2007-y=z
where y is year your born, z is (age + 100x) and x is a random number. What's the point?

other jokes were good tho

Yeah, and you'll claim you edited it to add the 'other jokes were good tho' part and not 'cos you got your sum's wrong. :rolleyes::rolleyes::D

passive

((x*2)+5)*50+1757-y=z
Therefore;
100x+2007-y=z
where y is year your born, z is (age + 100x) and x is a random number. What's the point?

Teehee... teeheeheee... I'm with him on this one. Well.. not in such scientific terms, but once I got to a point in the sum where I had made the number 2007 and it asked me to subtract my date of birth, with the promise of telling me my age, the magic was lost...

also,

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

ONLY 55%!? man... that's barely even more than half the population.... (I have a problem with the way statistics are presented in daily life ^_^')

mickrourke

rocky25 wrote: »

I wonder if Einstein is going to see his Relativity’s this Christmas:rolleyes:

He he, good one,

These are jokes people, just jokes, take it to the Mathematics forum if you want to discuss the different ways of doing sums.

dak

mickrourke wrote: »

He he, good one,

These are jokes people, just jokes, take it to the Mathematics forum if you want to discuss the different ways of doing sums.

Well said ! The jokes should be taken at face value !

rocky25

dak wrote: »

Well said ! The jokes should be taken at face value !

100% in agreement, sometimes peoples attitudes just don't ADD up:rolleyes: