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Alcohol Warning

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  • 15-12-2007 2:46am
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Thor.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to "disappear."

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.


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