Dear Boards...

Stephen P

Is there a particular situation that you are having problems with regarding your stammer? This thread will be like a "Dear Deirdre" page. Perhaps there's a presentation coming up in work and you need advice on how to tackle it. Whatever it is post it here.

Example:
Dear boards,
Everytime I go to a restaurant I find it hard to order food. I do be sweating before the waiter takes my order. How can I be more confident and not be afraid to say my order?

I'll see how the responses go and if there's a good response I'll sticky the thread.

uncle-mofo

I only stammer when I am around my family and close friends for some reason. To be honest it pisses me off, because I could be trying to say one word for about 30 seconds. I think it is stopping me from communicating with my family because whenever a family member asks something like "any news?" I usually just say no to avoid the embarassment of going through the torture of sounding like a complete retard. I would nearly give anything in the world for me to be able to speak fluently in a normal conversation.

Charlie_Boswell

uncle-mofo wrote: »

I usually just say no to avoid the embarassment of going through the torture of sounding like a complete retard..

although I don't agree with your use of words:mad: I understand what you're saying, I too stammer alot around my family. But I have found that you need to say this. However tough it may be you need to talk about your stammer to your family, If nothing else it may make them a bit more considerate when you're speaking.

PS. I often wonder about people who say they would give anything to be "like a fluent person" sure I'd love to be 100% fluent, would I give anything to get it....I don't think so.

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.:cool:
Charlie.

Stephen P

uncle-mofo - Have you ever attended speech therapy? I also even to stammer bad in front of my family, I don't know what it is. It can be very frustrating. Your family should understand your situation and you shouldn't be afraid to openly stammer in front of them. If they find it embarassing thats their problem and let them deal with it, after a while they'll get used to it. My family are well used to me now. My mother does sometimes finish my sentences and can be annoying, she can't help herself

uncle-mofo wrote: »

I usually just say no to avoid the embarassment of going through the torture of sounding like a complete retard.

Can I also ask you to be tactful with your choice of words? Some people who visit this forum could be very sensitive towards their stammer. Thanks.

uncle-mofo

stephen p wrote: »

uncle-mofo - Have you ever attended speech therapy? I also even to stammer bad in front of my family, I don't know what it is. It can be very frustrating. Your family should understand your situation and you shouldn't be afraid to openly stammer in front of them. If they find it embarassing thats their problem and let them deal with it, after a while they'll get used to it. My family are well used to me now. My mother does sometimes finish my sentences and can be annoying, she can't help herself



Can I also ask you to be tactful with your choice of words? Some people who visit this forum could be very sensitive towards their stammer. Thanks.

Yeah, sorry about that. I was just trying to get my point across. I have attended speach therapy and the only advice I was given was to speak slower but to me that makes no difference at all so my parents stopped taking me. I have talked about the stammer with my family before and they totally understand, but me being embarassed is nothing to do with them. It's tottaly up to me.

Stephen P

Would you consider therapy again? There are a few programmes out there at the moment that are good. There is also the option of support groups like the ISA, it can help a lot to talk openly there and get advice.
Depending on your sensitivity towards your stammer, would you just go ahead and speak? Even if it takes a few minutes to get the sentence out. Once you get what you want to say out you may feel a bit better. I know that may seem difficult but as Paul McKenna says "face your fear and do it anyway".
How are you in everyday situations? Like in shops, on the phone etc...

I stammer mainly when on the telephone, ironically I have found the guy who takes the orders in a takeaway much more sympathetic then most other people whom I speak to.

Small to medium crowds will trigger it as well - however if the crowds are big then I don't normally have a problem!

Also, as with the OP, I am told that I stammer more with my family - personally I haven't noticed this but friends tell me that they do.

"V"

Hi Steven,

Thanks for your input in this forum, i am finding it very helpful and reasuring to know i'm not the only one. Do you know if any of these courses that you attended are taking place any time soon as I am determined to get help but i dont know were to start so i would be grateful for any nuggets of help you could give me.

Yours Gratefully,

Lost in Translation.