Some advice

2008anotheryear

Mods please leave here as I dont want this in PI.

Right, i've suffered with moderate anxiety and depression for past 8 years after taking speed cannabis and mdma over period of 2 years. Gave up taking anxietydepression medication about 2 years ago as the side effects were preventing me from working or feeling normal. I was off the medication about a year and working part time but not feeling well when my mood started dropping, i became more anxious and had trouble sleeping. Then one weekend about a year ago I was reading about "the big bang" and had massive anxiety attack about there being nothing before "big bang". Since then I have been having near constant worry/anxiety/depression about all sorts of existential issues "what is my mind" "what is time" "Am i just self aware matter" "what is life" " what is the point of anything if i cease to exist at my death" "is consciousness an illusion" "am i free to choose my future" "why does life emerge from inanimate atoms/matter" "why does the universe(space time matter forces) exist" " why do i exist at this point in history of the universe" "what does it really mean to be human". I have found myself becoming very depressed about life and have near constant feelings of futility dread anxiety etc. I have never been religous but am open to the possibility of a higher being/entity creating the universe but i feel the probability is very slim. I have been back on medication for past year but it helps little and may be even making me worse and the psychiatric services dont seem able to offer me much in terms of counselling or psychotherapy.
Basically I want peoples advice on how to view life in a positive way in the abscence of belief in an afterlife or god.

eoin5

I'm no phychotherapist but my advice is to do exactly what youre doing here, ask the questions and join in the discussions with those around you. Intead of dwelling on the unknown alone all the time read the books, chat to people about it and get on youtube and wikipedia.

SubjectSean

2008anotheryear wrote: »

Basically I want peoples advice.

The medication only attacks the symptoms not the cause, you need it while you are experiencing the symptoms but they will not just dissapear on their own. You are right to think that you need counselling, you must demand it and insist on it. Reading things on a forum may make you feel better, but really you need the talking cure.

Personally I'm a deist so I believe in God. When I used not to though I kept positive by believing in humanity. It's hard sometimes I know but we've come a long way in the last 100,000 years and although we keep getting set back our general thrust is moving out of the darkness into the light. You can stay positive by helping the movement and knowing that whatever you do to that end will last as long as humanity.

Anyhow you should get a counsellor, the medicine is only papering over the cracks. I don't know how much E you did but I started back in '89 and I've seen a steady line of people go down with varying degrees of your symptoms (to me it looks like limbic system damage of the sort seen in PTSD.) The good thing about the brain is that it will sort everything out if you just bump it back onto the tracks but to get it there you're going to need to talk to somebody trained in the art of bumping.

5uspect

I think signing up to boards is a good start. There's always lots of good debate that hopefully answer your questions in a rational and calm way. I don't think we've any regular phychotherapist posters here but often a good chat about these issues is worth it!

Dades

I'll leave this thread here on the basis that you specifically asked it stay, and that your ultimate question is one asked by many here every day.

I'm sure other will have some sage advice for you. The only thing I'd say to you at the moment is that the absence of a religious purpose shouldn't keep you from having a personal one. Perhaps this is what you need to focus on. That could be anything from raising a child, to simply deciding to leave the world a better place for those who follow you.

If you come to the conclusion that this life is it - the best thing you can do is live it to the fullest. And better to live it in such a way as to leave a legacy of a good person - as that will be your 'afterlife'.

But what do I know. I'm just a guy who doesn't believe in gods who gets on with things!

TheThing!

2008anotheryear wrote: »

Basically I want peoples advice on how to view life in a positive way in the abscence of belief in an afterlife or god.

It is perfectly likely that existence has absolutely no higher meaning, I personally believe that it doesn't, but that doesnt take away from the fact that your life can have meaning in itself. As human beings, human existence is all that we have, it is all any of us will ever experience, and therefore, it has huge meaning, at least for us. Experiencing the world around you, doing things you enjoy, being good at something, these things are meaningful because you can enjoy them and you are experiencing them as part of your life, and this life is all you will ever have. There is nothing wrong with thinking about the universe and infinity and the insignificance of humanity, but it should not stop you from enjoying human existence

lostexpectation

make yourself busy with other practical things so you don't have so much time to think

Latchy

OP i was reading your post and it struck a chord because i can remember once having more or less the same view point as your self when i as in my 20s .This section in your post

Then one weekend about a year ago I was reading about "the big bang" and had massive anxiety attack about there being nothing before "big bang". Since then I have been having near constant worry/anxiety/depression about all sorts of existential issues "what is my mind" "what is time" "Am i just self aware matter" "what is life" " what is the point of anything if i cease to exist at my death" "is consciousness an illusion" "am i free to choose my future" "why does life emerge from inanimate atoms/matter" "why does the universe(space time matter forces) exist" " why do i exist at this point in history of the universe" "what does it really mean to be human". I have found myself becoming very depressed about life and have near constant feelings of futility dread anxiety

is the bit that brought back memories of some kind , like a flasback of sorts so i realised we all must ask those questions and have those anxietys you have described . The idea of nothingness is scary but to my way of thinking if you dont remember life before birth then it must be to a certin degree the same about death ,we possibly will be in a state of unawareness (which some religious people might refer to as limbo or even hell ) but i am no theologian .

The nearest thing i have ever had to understanding supreme matter or a higher-being was when i had an LSD trip (one of only 3 i ever had ) .Some might say it was a reaction to chemicals in my body over a period of hrs ok, but it was the nearest i have ever come to understanding somthing that was so big and byond my comprehension ,somthing i could never understand or contemplate in my normal day to day human thinking .

Best way to describe it would be to remember your earliest happy childhood memory when you looked out at the world with childhod innocence, and never questioned anything cuz the sound of your heartbeat and the smell of nector in your nostrils told you that all was right with the world .

That last bit is not a rant of sorts ,it comes from the heart .:)

jtsuited

what you seem to be experiencing is depersonalisation and derealisation, two severe and extremely unpleasant symptoms of chronic anxiety (normally coexisting with depression).

I have had some pretty similar experiences, and all I'll say is take whatever medication you need to live a normal life and these far out existential questions won't seem so emotionally daunting.
In fact you'll be in a much more stable emotional state to really investigate such interesting questions.

Pm me about this if you feel the need to. I've been through the hoops with this sort of thing if you know what I mean.

Schuhart

2008anotheryear wrote: »

Basically I want peoples advice on how to view life in a positive way in the abscence of belief in an afterlife or god.

I’m just focusing on this part of your question, because that’s all I know about. Indeed, there can be more than a little disorientation at the thought of being so small in the scheme of things and a loss of sense and purpose at the thought of how unlikely any individual’s presence is, or how little the world would have to be different for any one of us in particular never to have been born.

I don’t know what thought will work for you, but (at the risk of being banned for schmalz) I actually did find this sentiment from the Desiderata to contained the right ethic for me

You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

At the risk of spoiling the mood of it, I think this is all that can be said. This is the way things are, and you’re as much a part of it as any other element.

cavedave

Right, i've suffered with moderate anxiety and depression for past 8 years

That sounds terrible you have sympathy from me.

Then one weekend about a year ago I was reading about "the big bang" and had massive anxiety attack about there being nothing before "big bang".

worrying about something you can have no effect on is like chewing gum to stop global warming.

"what is my mind" "what is time" "Am i just self aware matter" "what is life" "is consciousness an illusion" "am i free to choose my future" "why does life emerge from inanimate atoms/matter" "why does the universe(space time matter forces) exist" " why do i exist at this point in history of the universe" "what does it really mean to be human"

These are good and important questions and you should not feel bad about thinking about them.

" what is the point of anything if i cease to exist at my death"

“The aims of life are the best defense against death.” Primo Levi

I have found myself becoming very depressed about life and have near constant feelings of futility dread anxiety etc.

This sounds terrible. It may be glib but I would advise
1. Enjoy every sandwich
2. Go for a walk at noon
3. Eat fish (or cod liver oil if you cannot).
4. Check out Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Counseling for people who do not blame everything on their childhoods

I have never been religous but am open to the possibility of a higher being/entity creating the universe but i feel the probability is very slim. I have been back on medication for past year but it helps little and may be even making me worse and the psychiatric services dont seem able to offer me much in terms of counselling or psychotherapy.

What would give your life meaning? Is it family, friends, inventing a better decaf coffee, helping people through charity, supporting Man utd? You (and all of us) has to decide what is important in their lives.

Basically I want peoples advice on how to view life in a positive way in the abscence of belief in an afterlife or god.

I think the world is an achingly beautiful place and life though sometimes painful is a very precious thing.

Do not take anything I say too seriously. I don't.

Hivemind187

It's funny but I think many of us have had that "atheistic shock" where you realise that the universe isnt governed by some kind of benevolent intellect.

It was a couple fo weeks later that I realised that it had given me the ultimate reason to exist. Its amazingly amazing that you do in fact exist and are capable of realising the things you have realised.

If that sounds circular ... it probably is (Night Nurse is awful powerful stuff).

Black Swan

2008anotheryear wrote: »

Basically I want peoples advice on how to view life in a positive way in the abscence of belief in an afterlife or god.

Methinks you may want to consider putting your house in order before taking on questions of universe? Deal with and reduce some of the stress that may be related to work or school, debt, relationships, home, or your physical well being? For example, you would be surprised how improving your physical health can impact on your view of the world. Do daily strenuous exercise, improve your nutrition/diet, and cut the recreational drugs and reduce the booze. Then perhaps you will be better prepared to take on issues pertaining to "being" or whatever?

Zillah

Suddenly suffering a massive psychological fall out due to reading about the big bang is not healthy. Seriously, get back on the medication and perhaps you'll have the faculties to consider these matters in a less catastrophic fashion.

Dades

The OP is taking medication, so we'll assume that the practitioner who prescribed it was actually qualified to do so. Hence it's not our place to suggest a course of treatment anything other than that. I'm not aiming this post at anyone in particular, btw, this is just a heads-up that if advice moves beyond our 'remit' here we might be forced to close the thread.

Personally I'm hoping that if the OP decides to visit us again, maybe he might find the incentive to seek out a purpose for himself/herself that allows the mind to focus on what is important, which is the 'here and now'.

MoominPapa

The late great psychiatrist/person Dr Anthony Clare, who was an atheist, had some great advice on how to live a fulfilled and happy life which is outlined in this article this article.

Hope it helps

Dades

That's an excellent read, MoominPapa.
Really positive stuff.