Emphysema

Musha

My father is dying! Emphysema. he smoked for 40 years it is breaking my heart to watch him in distress Coughing and grasping for breath his is on ****** and nebulisers.
My point is why an I still smoking? Why do I brush off every cough that I make as "getting a cold" ? why do I feel mortaly ashamed when my 4 year old gets a chesty cough? Why can't I stand up and do the right thing and pack in the fags? Why am I sitting typing this with tears in my eyes?
because I am a fool !!! Because I am weak willed!!
Congratluations to all on this thread that have quit and are trying to quit this evil, soul destroying addicition. I hope to join you soon.

ali.c

If you havent already maybe you could look at picking up the allen carr book and giving it a read. It is less than <15euro and loads of people i know have found it a great help!

govinda

Musha, I'm sorry to hear about your father.
As to why you are still smoking, I would just paraphrase Allen Carr and say that if awareness of the health issues was all it took to quit, you would probably have quit by now and the warnings on the packs would be much more effective than they are.
I quit in August this year, after 12 years smoking. After multiple failed attempts to quit in the past (I have genuinely lost count how many), I really believe that I will make it this time....not that its any easier this time round, but that I'm going into it eyes wide open and having learned so much from all my previous failed attempts.
As ali.c recommends, the Allen Carr books are great - they really shine a light on the reasons why we smoke.
There is also a free e-book by Mark Jordan, Stop Smoking - Break the Chains, which you can Google for and download......thats the book I read back in August; I was absolutely gasping for a cigarette while reading it, petrified to quit but I took a chance, followed his instructions and I feel so much better for it now.
Keep coming back here for support; it does get easier and it will get better!

Reg'stoy

Near the end, just before I gave them up I hated them with a passion, I hated the way I and they smelled. I hated the way non smokers looked at me when I lit up, I hated the stupid amount of money I had spent/wasted on them over 20 years. I hated the way they stained my fingers and teeth, I hated the way I and my fellow smokers littered our streets with millions of ugly horrible butts every year. I hated being the only idiot who smoked at a friend's house and so ending up standing outside alone not really enjoying the smoke. I hated having to buy the strongest chewing gum in the hope it would disguise my disgusting habit from others.
Since the day when I just said "fcuk it no more", I have never been more sure of anything in my life.
I will never again feel embarressed when one of nieces of nephews goes "phew you stink", I will never again scrub my fingers raw getting rid of that horrible stain. I will never hear or see again my wife's disappointment when she said "whatever, it's your life". I will never, never, never ever again panic and wonder "Christ it's half eight will six do me till the morning"
Musha sir there is no holy grail to giving up, you can take all the pills, chew all the gum but you have got to want to quit. Cigarettes do nothing good for you, they do not relieve stress or any of the reasons we use to continue with a habit we know we should break.
If you continue to smoke sir you will die horribly like your father no point beating around the bush here. I accept as fact that I have shortened my life and not the part where I'm sitting in my wheelchair drooling on myself (the lie we smokers love to tell ourselves) but the part my own non-smoking father currently enjoys (and will for many years to come) as in next tuesday and most sundays surrounded by his children and grand children. I truely hope that I am wrong and my body will forgive the wrongs I did it on an hourly basis for years.
Musha, if I may be so bold as to say when (no if) you do your own list of things you hate about smoking, hopefully No 1 will be "I hate what they have done to my father" and that this will make you also say "fcuk it no more" and quit.

Archeron

OP, you're not a fool. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You have realized the damage that the cigs can do, and you are going to try and act on it. In my opinion, there is nothing foolish about that.

I smoked for many years despite knowing what they were doing for me, and I continued purely because I enjoyed them (or thought I did). Eventually I made the decision to try to stop, and after some failed attempts I succeeded.
Stopping smoking is a tough thing to do, but as you can see from many of the threads here, it IS possible. People will support you in trying to stop, and I wish you the very best of luck with it.
As per the post above, when I eventually stopped, I absolutely detested smoking and everything associated with it (how hypocritical is that when you have a 20 box of benson and a lighter in your pocket!) but I was happy to turn that intensity into determination to stop. Perhaps you could do the same with any anger or frustration you may be feeling at the moment.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, its tough to go thorugh seeing someone so close to you being so ill. One thing that I would say helped me stop though was the harsh realization of the ill effects of the habit. When I started smoking at the tender age of 14, there was nothing bad about smoking. Everyone did it, it made you look cool and hard, and it even helped you make friends. As I reached my late twenties, I started to see more and more people in my family and my friends families become ill and pass away.
As words like "heart attack" and "lung cancer" became more prevalent in day to day conversation it kind of shot home exactly how devastating smoking can be and that was also a big factor in my becoming so determined to stop.

Terry

There are people who would say that because your father has emphysema, that you are more likely to get it.
The same people would look at their own family history and say that they are ok because their parents are still alive and well, so they're ok when it comes to smoking.

Both scenarios are bullshít.

Emphysema is something that everyone who smokes is risking. You just don't know how your body is going to react.

As harsh as it may sound, just let this be a lesson to you and to all who have read your post.

pclancy

Excellent thread.

Im on day 5 off them and this is just what I came here to find, thanks

comerla

Theres an enzyme called alpha 1 antitrypsin that stops your white blood cells from attacking your lungs when your lungs have foreign bodies (such as smoke) in them.

If you dont have enough of this enzyme, the theory is that over time the white blood cells damage the lungs, reducing their elasticity.

This condition can be carried to a small extent, or to a critically high degree. If you are a carrier of this gene, there is a very high chance you'll get emphysema if you smoke.

in my own case, my grandmother died young of emphysema. 40 grandkids were checked- 2 are carriers of the gene- I am one of these. Subsequent tests showed that my lungs have been damaged already by cigarettes (or else were crap to start with)

I have been smoking heavily since I was 15 (I'm 30 now). I stopped for four years when I was 22 and started again in a moment of madness when abroad. I quit today again. I know what lies ahead of me if I smoke for the next 20 years. Emphysema is a horrible way to go.

If your father has emphysema I suggest you go to a consultant and get tested to see if you have the gene for this.

JHMEG

@comerla, I hope you're still off them. If I can do it anyone can;). Jeez, if you can do it for 4 years, you can do it for as long as you want.

comerla

Thanks for the words JHMEG. Yeah I'm off them- and will stay off them this time. I genuinely think that cigarettes are evil. Its amazing the power of denial. despite knowing what I know- i still smoked for almost another 4 years. A lot of people are like me and have a predisposition to this- COPD (the name for emphysema/ bronchitis) is the fourth biggest killer in the US. It is very underdiagnosed- and is usually never spotted until its too late.

I'd say I should be ok but will admit to being a bit worried. I had an FEV (the best metric to see if you have lung disease) of 65% when I had given up the first time. This is pretty scary at the age of 22 after 7 years as a smoker. When I went back a couple of years later i had an FEV of 88% so I was told I will be grand as long as I dont smoke. I dont think I want to get any more tests done- this could have implications for life/ health insurance and I dont think I want to know anyway if it is bad.

Sorry for taking over your thread Musha but its important that people know about the issues around emphysema/ COPD. I hope you manage to give them up also.

comerla

Got my spirometry checked last week.

My FEV1 was measured as 72%, so apparently I have COPD/ emphysema again (anything less than 80% is abnormal. Many people my age have FEV of over 100%

If this is true my lung function went from 88% to 72% in four years.

Lots of people in their forties have a level like this already and will not realise it untill its too late.

The Sweeper

There's an anti-smoking ad on Australian television at the moment that says most people who smoke 20 cigarettes a day already have emphysema. It may not be severe, but you have it.

Scared the bejesus out of me, I can tell you. So much for the "Ah it won't happen to me" denial - I haven't had a cigarette in 15 days.

gogo

Twenty minutes after my father died of lung cancer i had a cigarette. Twenty minutes!! After a week of watching him die (this after the preceeding six months of sheer hell).

My sister organised a walk for the Terry Fox Cancer Foundation a year later, I was smoking at the start of it.

It is a crutch, and nothing more. I have lied to everyone about the ammount i smoke, its double what i say it is.

There is no use us telling you why you need to give up, scare tactics or otherwise, you will finally make that decision for your self, and when you do you will find the support here and on other websites.

I finally clicked four days 10 hours ago (not finding it easy ), but I can maybe see that I have been the fool after all, I am paying a company to kill me. i picked a day, no one in particular, just a day and said that's enough, and it is.
Go on - pick that day.
Good luck.

YogiBear

govinda wrote: »

Musha, I'm sorry to hear about your father.
As to why you are still smoking, I would just paraphrase Allen Carr and say that if awareness of the health issues was all it took to quit, you would probably have quit by now and the warnings on the packs would be much more effective than they are.
I quit in August this year, after 12 years smoking. After multiple failed attempts to quit in the past (I have genuinely lost count how many), I really believe that I will make it this time....not that its any easier this time round, but that I'm going into it eyes wide open and having learned so much from all my previous failed attempts.
As ali.c recommends, the Allen Carr books are great - they really shine a light on the reasons why we smoke.
There is also a free e-book by Mark Jordan, Stop Smoking - Break the Chains, which you can Google for and download......thats the book I read back in August; I was absolutely gasping for a cigarette while reading it, petrified to quit but I took a chance, followed his instructions and I feel so much better for it now.
Keep coming back here for support; it does get easier and it will get better!

Thank you for the mention about Mark Jordan's book. I've just down loaded it.
I smoked 20+ a day for 10 years & sucessfully gave up over 2 years ago!
But about 6 months ago, I had a drag of one of my ex's cigarettes & since then I'm back on 20+ a day! I'm so so soo annoyed with myself.
I just can't find the will power again to give up at the moment, I'm not even really enjoying half of the cigs I smoke what with coughing & shortness of breath..
I attended an alan carr seminar before & it's definitley useful but I think I need some new method this time for added inspiration to give up. Will give this Mark Jordan book a read! Tnx!

govinda

Good luck gogo and Yogibear - come back and let us know how its going for you!