whats cooking?

dak · 18-12-2007 8:31pm #1

A man gets up one morning to find his wife
already in the kitchen cooking.
He looks to see what she's cooking, and sees
one of his socks in the frying pan.

What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm doing what you asked me to do last night
when you came to bed very drunk," she replied

Completely puzzled, the man walks away
thinking to himself, "I don't remember asking
her to cook my sock..."

******************************************************
Two howaya's walk into Brown Thomas they stroll up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it: 'Dat's quite nice innit, don't you tink Jacinta?'. 'Yeah, what's it called?'. 'Viens a moi' 'VIENS A MOI, what the f##k does that mean? At this stage the assistant offers some help. 'Viens a moi, ladies, is French for "come to me". Sharon, takes another sniff and offers her arm to Jacinta again saying, "That doesn't smell like come to me, does that smell like come to you?".

*******************************************************

Northside girl is in a bad car crash and trapped in the car, bleeding heavily
Medic arrives.
Medic says, "It's allright now, love, I'm a medic but I want to ask you some questions".
Girl, " Ok den"
Medic, "What's your name?"
Girl, "Bridget"
Medic, "Ok, Bridget, is this your car?"
Bridget, "Yeh"
Medic, "Where are you bleeding from"
Girl, "Drumcondra"

************************************************
cannibal walks into the clearing his tribe uses for a toilet. He sees his best friend having a sh!te and crying his eyes out.
"What's wrong with you?" he asks.
His pal looks up at him with watery eyes and asys "I've just dumped my girlfriend."