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  • 19-12-2007 11:07pm
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    Dear All

    My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........

    I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about cockroach eggs in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs
    sealing.

    Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

    I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

    Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

    I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

    Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

    Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

    I no longer can buy petrol without taking     someone     along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

    I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

    I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

    Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

    And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

    If you don't send this message to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm tomorrow.

    I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

    By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with a low libido always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

    Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!

    Merry Christmas
    P.S: THIS IS AMAZING! If you send this to 7 people immediately and make 3 wishes when you have done it, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN!
    Trust me, It Really Works! I tried it twice and it's true, nothing Happened both times!





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