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most elaborate way to die thats feasable for under 5 grand

2»

Comments

  • #52
    A-Trak
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,315 ✭✭✭A-Trak


    5 Large eh?

    I think 2.5 k would get me a decent amount of cheap hookers and coke to do away with myself.

    The other 2.5k would be spent in advance on my funeral and tipping a dodgy mortician.

    What I'd then plump for would be a powerful spring loaded coffin and some fireworks off some oul one on Moore St.
    Then as my eulogy was being read,

    "Dearly beloved we are gathered to mourn poor A-Trak......"

    BOING, cue me flying out limbs akimbo out of my coffin into the bereaved amidst the fiery splendor of monkey rockets and catherine wheels.

    I think my family would enjoy that.


  • #53
    CantGetNoSleep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,273 ✭✭✭CantGetNoSleep


    Id dress myself up as a kn*cker (a proper halting site pikey), with tracksuit, wife beater top, dirty jumper, gold chains (€100)

    I'd buy a baseball bat, a good solid one, along with a bag of weapons, guns, whatever (€400)

    I'd spend two or three days researching all the travellers in Ireland, finding out personal details etc, and then practice my pikey accent

    I'd get a taxi driver, a proper dodgy one, driving a fast car, to drove me to every halting site in the country, and I'd try to start the mother of all traveller feuds, tell them that the pikeys in the next town said something about there ma or something. I wouldnt stop until there was full on pikey war, and they exterminate each other (Fare: €2000 for the week boss)

    Now being realistic, I'm going to get killed by some hard bare knuckle boxing t*inker b*stard in the process

    But if my plan is succesful I would have ridded the country of the knacks, as they will have all killed each other

    St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, I would have done the same for the k*ackers, we'd have to declare a second national holiday for St CantGetNoSleep


    (Repeat process for Roma Gypsies and any other ethnic minority until desired result is achieved)


  • #54
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    Fly to Pakistan. Joint a Taleban military camp. Fly to USA. Suicide bomb something.

    You'd be a sick bastard, but you'd be remembered forever.


  • #55
    Pigman II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,921 ✭✭✭✭Pigman II


    I'd load up on guns and ammo and have a shooting spree in temple bar. Can't go wrong there as there's emos, chavs and tourists everywhere so there'd be practicallu no innocent bystanders. When I got down to my last clip I'd stick the gun in my gob and blow my brains out all over the central bank.

    6.01 news would report "50 people were killed today (including 2 people who didn't deserve it).


  • #56
    thefinalstage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,503 ✭✭✭thefinalstage


    Pigman II wrote: »
    I'd load up on guns and ammo and have a shooting spree in temple bar. Can't go wrong there as there's emos, chavs and tourists everywhere so there'd be practicallu no innocent bystanders. When I got down to my last clip I'd stick the gun in my gob and blow my brains out all over the central bank.

    6.01 news would report "50 people were killed today (including 2 people who didn't deserve it).

    And now the weather....
    Mairt wrote: »
    I make exceptions when I'm horny ... thanks for the photos in the PM Dudess.

    :D

    I demand said pics! Share the wealth.


  • #57
    CantGetNoSleep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,273 ✭✭✭CantGetNoSleep


    Pigman II wrote: »
    I'd load up on guns and ammo and have a shooting spree in temple bar. Can't go wrong there as there's emos, chavs and tourists everywhere so there'd be practicallu no innocent bystanders. When I got down to my last clip I'd stick the gun in my gob and blow my brains out all over the central bank.

    6.01 news would report "50 people were killed today (including 2 people who didn't deserve it).
    might even catch a few d4 heads, and scumbags, and i'm sure there would be a begger around there somewhere, maybe even a polski


  • #58
    CrazyTalk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 454 ✭✭CrazyTalk


    Use the money to build a breakfast machine


  • #59
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    Id buy some life assurance, and then I'd go on a canoe ride and disappear, and my missus can collect the Life Assurance, and....

    Hey? what? its been done before you say?

    hmmmmmm...

    Id just pay some whore to blow me for a week and then overdose.


  • #60
    A-Trak
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,315 ✭✭✭A-Trak


    WhiteWashMan wrote: »
    Id buy some life assurance, and then I'd go on a canoe ride and disappear, and my missus can collect the Life Assurance, and....

    Dad?


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  • #61
    Kintarō Hattori
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,013 ✭✭✭✭Kintarō Hattori


    CantGetNoSleep wrote: »
    might even catch a few d4 heads, and scumbags, and i'm sure there would be a begger around there somewhere, maybe even a polski

    I was just looking back through some of your posts and you seem rather sexist and racist:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54742979&postcount=4
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54742887&postcount=13
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54742832&postcount=141
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54685688&postcount=77
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54685619&postcount=57
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54301610&postcount=5
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54153705&postcount=78
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54102142&postcount=17

    I stopped at page 10.


  • #62
    GhostInTheRuins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,966 ✭✭✭GhostInTheRuins


    ^^^ charming


  • #63
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    Its true, I went into O'Briens once, and the chick there was scottish. Oculdnt understand a word of it. thick 'Weegie accent on her.


  • #64
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    Karl Hungus wrote: »
    Here's what I'd do, and it wouldn't take 5 grand either!

    Get some really sharp razor wire, make a noose out of it, and have some sort of secret hole in the ceiling where the noose would retract into once my plan is complete. Next, I'd stand on a chair, and slip the noose around my neck. Then I would superglue my hands to my head, wait for it to dry, then kick the chair away...

    My head should come clean off, and to all outwards appearances, it would look like I ripped my own head off!!! :D

    I only got this far into the thread but I can't see anything topping this, and for free to boot!


  • #65
    CantGetNoSleep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,273 ✭✭✭CantGetNoSleep


    eo980 wrote: »
    I was just looking back through some of your posts and you seem rather sexist and racist:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54742979&postcount=4
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54742887&postcount=13
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54742832&postcount=141
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54685688&postcount=77
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54685619&postcount=57
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54301610&postcount=5
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54153705&postcount=78
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54102142&postcount=17

    I stopped at page 10.
    yeah i am, isnt that what ah is about?


  • #66
    Archeron
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,337 ✭✭✭Archeron


    I would break the 5 grand into five euro notes and glue them all over my body. Then I would walk into a charity mugger training centre while loudly proclaiming that "all the cash on me is for charity" then just sit back and watch the dripping bloody body pieces fly.


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  • #67
    CantGetNoSleep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,273 ✭✭✭CantGetNoSleep


    Archeron wrote: »
    I would break the 5 grand into five euro notes and glue them all over my body. Then I would walk into a charity mugger training centre while loudly proclaiming that "all the cash on me is for charity" then just sit back and watch the dripping bloody body pieces fly.
    this could be a way of having them made illegal, if you got it on camera and had someone post it on youtube for you (as you'd be dead obviously)


  • #68
    Eric Cartman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,280 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    Terry wrote: »
    To hell with that.
    He lives near me.
    I'm moving house.


    On topic, has anyone got five grand?
    I feel like I'm going to die at any time now and I'd like to go out with a bang.

    your reasonably safe in avondale


  • #69
    emilyc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17 ✭emilyc


    Terry wrote: »
    To hell with that.
    He lives near me.
    I'm moving house.

    He lives in the same house as me :(


  • #70
    AckwelFoley
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,556 ✭✭✭✭AckwelFoley


    id hire a private investigator for 4980 and 10 euro on petrol and matches.

    Find out where a certain killjoy poster on this page lives.. douse him in the petrol and flick the matches toward the general direction.

    Instant fame for 15 seconds.




    I win




    .. oh and the tenner left over.. id keep that... u never know, i might get some cheap 10 euro hooker in leason street to drain me before god gets me :O


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