Suicide

raichquilly

and i dont with my father , but what im saying is i can understand with my mum why she feels that right now that is her way of grieving and people are entitled to feel that, and i'm sure once she gets there she will be able to look back and think that was silly. Its all part of the process and i feel like shaking her everyday of the week about it but i cant people heal differently!! and people deal with situations differently

StormWarrior

Yes if it's someone you lost and you're going through a blame stage that's one thing. But people just abstractly debating this subject and condemning suicides as selfish is wrong.

raichquilly

StormWarrior wrote: »

Yes if it's someone you lost and you're going through a blame stage that's one thing. But people just abstractly debating this subject and condemning suicides as selfish is wrong.

well yes i totaly agree with that!!! didnt realise where you were coming from sorry!! i have been reading this since jan and didnt want to post but today i felt that i needed to say something,and also in a better state of mind to discuss it.Yes they are leaving a mess behind, but if they could even think that straight to think of that they wouldnt do it!!

DenMan

Suicide is always an option people look towards when things get almost unbearable, to the point of no return in some cases. Personally I have suffered from depression in the past. I kept a lot of things bottled up inside myself and rarely confided in people. I was actally quite a shy person in school. I knew the only way I could learn to deal with it was to confront it. I looked at what I thought was missing in my life, the things that I wanted to do and set about getting my affairs in order. So I traveled a lot. Went to work in Malta in Film/TV and that experience helped to open my eyes and allow to go for what I truly wanted in life. Before that I went to college in the UK, met loads of terrific friends, like minded people that enjoyed the music I like and went to a lot of gigs. Right now I am preparing to return to University as I am looking for a career in broadcasting. I feel great knowing I have a plan in front of me, having the support of the people close to me. I can't wait.

Maple

DenMan wrote: »

Suicide is always an option people look towards when things get almost unbearable, to the point of no return in some cases. Personally I have suffered from depression in the past. I kept a lot of things bottled up inside myself and rarely confided in people. I was actally quite a shy person in school. I knew the only way I could learn to deal with it was to confront it. I looked at what I thought was missing in my life, the things that I wanted to do and set about getting my affairs in order. So I traveled a lot. Went to work in Malta in Film/TV and that experience helped to open my eyes and allow to go for what I truly wanted in life. Before that I went to college in the UK, met loads of terrific friends, like minded people that enjoyed the music I like and went to a lot of gigs. Right now I am preparing to return to University as I am looking for a career in broadcasting. I feel great knowing I have a plan in front of me, having the support of the people close to me. I can't wait.

Fantastic. Well done and best of luck with everything.

Sherifu

Fair play DenMan, I hope your tale will help someone else who reads it.

turgon

Sherifu wrote: »

Fair play DenMan, I hope your tale will help someone else who reads it.

+1

Loopy

A very close immediate family member commited suicide and while the grief and pain tore me apart I have to respect that they did not want to be on this earth anymore - quite simply it was too painful for them. I dont think its a selfish, cowardly act at all - I think you need great strength to do something so final.

Also a friend of mine who was 4 months pregnant with her forth child while in her twenties found her husband in their bedroom after he blew his brains out with a shotgun - he was literally all over the bedroom. That is pain.. She no longer bears anger towards him (shes had a lot of counselling) and accepts he did not want to be around anymore.

Suicide is in fact a double bereavement - firstly, your dealing with the person being gone and secondly your dealing with the fact that it was their choice, they wanted to go.

Black Swan

slipss wrote: »

Ever considered topping yourself?

And miss reading this thread?

Ciaran500

This song seems very apt for this thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T7kEYUbnJk

Dan le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip - Magician's Assistant (no video)

PrivateEye

I think you need great strength to do something so final

Very true.

My dad works in the Fire Brigade, so through the ambulance service this is something they come face to face with all too often. It's heartbreaking, no matter how bad things get I know I could never take those steps myself. Imagine how bad things must be for somebody to push themselves like that.

The % of people on here who voted for the 2nd or 3rd option says an awful lot. I don't think the issue is discussed properly in this country yet. I have a very close friend who was hit by depression and it was like he was another person altogether.

It's a very real problem. It always has been the largest killer of young people particulary in this country, and it exists in every community- it doesn't care for class or anything else. The really tragic part is I haven't a clue how you go about dealing with it. My thoughts and prayers are with anyone whos suffered as a result of suicide, in their own family or otherwise.

Call Me Jimmy

To people who think it's selfish I'de ask this:
If you were being tortured all day everyday and knew you couldn't escape it would you be selfish to kill yourself? Would you hold it against someone who killed themselves in that situation?

AckwelFoley

I suffer from Manic depression, last October i was within seconds ending my own life with a firearm i posess, only for a phone call from my sister and a stint in the nut house and 3 months off work did i recover. Im on meds indefinetly, im told they cant give me a higher dose of what im on.. if i need more help than they can provide.. its back to the funny farm for snyper.

Im not embarresed or ashamed of my condition, or the fact i was going to kill myself. You wouldnt think im the type if you met me or know me, im normally in good form and mad as a bag of cats.

But what ppl dont seem to understand... you can be laughing and acting the bollix on the outside to the world.. but die'in on the inside.

I feel by me sacraficing my privacy on the subject.. perhaps it might help remove the ignorant stigma associated with depression and suicide and encourage some one to seek help.

Oh and to all of you that think its a selfish act.. i advise you collectively to SHUT THE FCUK UP. I used to think the same when i was a prepubesant teen, then i grew up

Slidey

snyper wrote: »

Oh and to all of you that think its a selfish act.. i advise you collectively to SHUT THE FCUK UP. I used to think the same when i was a prepubesant teen, then i grew up

Bravo snyper...
Fairs do's to ya for your courage and the best of luck..

Sherifu

Good to have you with us mr. snyper.

Call Me Jimmy

snyper wrote: »

But what ppl dont seem to understand... you can be laughing and acting the bollix on the outside to the world.. but die'in on the inside.

This is a big point that ye would assume is pretty obvious but I don't think most people understand the extent to which it is true.

AckwelFoley

Sherifu wrote: »

Good to have you with us mr. snyper.

O RLY? Buttsekz?

Sherifu

snyper wrote: »

O RLY? Buttsekz?

Sure, fly over.

thelordofcheese

I've given up on suicide in favour of killing everyone else in the world.

Piste

I think suicide is disgustingly selfish when people choose to kill themselves by jumping in front of a train/DART. Sure they'll die instantly and it'll be no skin off their nose, but what about the poor train/DART drivers and passengers? I think it's such a horrible thing to do to someone.

hunter164

Maybe they're not able to do it any other way.As in they wouldn't have the bottle to perform the act if you know what I mean.

btw when I said bottle i couldn't think of another word.

Piste

Piste wrote: »

I think suicide is disgustingly selfish when people choose to kill themselves by jumping in front of a train/DART. Sure they'll die instantly and it'll be no skin off their nose, but what about the poor train/DART drivers and passengers? I think it's such a horrible thing to do to someone.

Beats leaving your body knowing that your family will find it.

People of sound and reasonable mind are selfish all day everyday. Who cares.

Quality

It seems to be rampant at the moment, A girl I grew up withs mother slit her wrists there two weeks ago. I know another guy who tried to hang himself the other night, He is in a coma. Seemingly there is a ward full of suicide attemptees beside him.

Its sad, I mean we all get a bit down in life, but as Denman pointed out, the future can be bright.

DenMan

Thanks for that Quality. Everybody's situation is unique though.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Susannahmia wrote: »

Thats kinda what I meant as well. You got help and improved your situation. I imagine that people that commit suicide might feel that there is no other option. In most cases with a lot of work there are better alternatives than ending it all. Your right there should be more awareness and less stigma for people suffering from depression.

You haven't a clue what your talking about.

My brother-in-law commit suicide four year's ago.

But before doing it he'd received very good medical care for year's. For most of his adult life he suffered from depression, alcoholism and attended Gamblers-Anon.

He also tried unsuccessfully to kill himself a few times before he perfected his methods.

On his 53rd birth he rang us (my wife and I at home) and spoke to us while he took an overdose and slit his wrists.

I talked my wife out of rushing to the house, believing it was just another rant from him.

Next morning he was found dead.

At the end of the day his suffering got too much. He lived in a very dark world, one which you or I will thankfully (or hopefully) never experience.

His act wasn't selfish. He simply couldn't live with his demon's any longer.

Slidey

beautiation wrote: »

I'm blaa blaa blaaa .... themselves.

:pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

I think you need to have a quiet sit down and think love

arybvtcw0eolkf

Piste wrote: »

I think suicide is disgustingly selfish when people choose to kill themselves by jumping in front of a train/DART. Sure they'll die instantly and it'll be no skin off their nose, but what about the poor train/DART drivers and passengers? I think it's such a horrible thing to do to someone.

What a stupid statement from a Moderator on a Junior Cert forum.

I'm sure you remember the young girl who commit suicide in Dublin two year's ago (Howth Junction, I'm purposely not going into too much detail). She was a pupil at my childrens school, and was in the same junior cert class as my son.

While I celebrated my son's results here with a thread on boards.ie another family was grieving the loss of a beautiful daughter.

Do you think (and I'm assuming that as a Mod on a junior cert forum you have some insight into the thinking of a junior cert student) that a child of that age can work out the thinking in your statement here?.

As a mod of a Junior cert forum I'm surprised (and disappointed) to think you've little understanding of junior cert students stress.

beautiation

slideways wrote: »

I think you need to have a quiet sit down and think love

And I think you need to stop taking AH so seriously "luv"!

Slidey

beautiation wrote: »

And I think you need to stop taking AH so seriously "luv"!

Listen, everyone knows AH is tongue in cheek but when something as obviously serious as this comes up and is liable to be seen by nearly everyone a little bit of sense and cop on is normally the case

beautiation

slideways wrote: »

Listen, everyone knows AH is tongue in cheek but when something as obviously serious as this comes up and is liable to be seen by nearly everyone a little bit of sense and cop on is normally the case

No, I can't agree. The OP knew how tongue in cheek this place is, and if they want a serious discussion on suicide they'd be best posting it somewhere else. Nothing but sympathy for those that this is an issue for, but why should they be allowed take over what is proudly one of the most irreverant forums on boards for their problems?

Raekwon

What a wonderful attitude to have :rolleyes:

tech77

DenMan wrote: »

Thanks for that Quality. Everybody's situation is unique though.

Inspirational story Denman.

Mairt wrote: »

You haven't a clue what your talking about.

My brother-in-law commit suicide four year's ago.

But before doing it he'd received very good medical care for year's. For most of his adult life he suffered from depression, alcoholism and attended Gamblers-Anon.

He also tried unsuccessfully to kill himself a few times before he perfected his methods.

On his 53rd birth he rang us (my wife and I at home) and spoke to us while he took an overdose and slit his wrists.

I talked my wife out of rushing to the house, believing it was just another rant from him.

Next morning he was found dead.

At the end of the day his suffering got too much. He lived in a very dark world, one which you or I will thankfully (or hopefully) never experience.

His act wasn't selfish. He simply couldn't live with his demon's any longer.

Mairt sorry to hear that..
Feel free not to answer this but:
How would you describe you and your wife's feelings towards your brother-in-law's suicide.
Anger, resentment, guilt, sadness, relief for him that he might be at peace now?
Or a combination.
Can you understand/make sense of the act?

orestes

beautiation wrote: »

Post in a Lolocaust stylee

If I honestly told you what I think of this, I wouldn't just get banned from After Hours, I'd more than likely get sitebanned.

Slidey

beautiation wrote: »

No, I can't agree. The OP knew how tongue in cheek this place is, and if they want a serious discussion on suicide they'd be best posting it somewhere else. Nothing but sympathy for those that this is an issue for, but why should they be allowed take over what is proudly one of the most irreverant forums on boards for their problems?

Look if you are not happy with something serious like this than dont post in, or read the bloody thread..

I'm sure there is something lowbrow enough for you in the cuckoos nest

TerrorFirmer

Mairt wrote: »

What a stupid statement from a Moderator on a Junior Cert forum.

I'm sure you remember the young girl who commit suicide in Dublin two year's ago (Howth Junction, I'm purposely not going into too much detail). She was a pupil at my childrens school, and was in the same junior cert class as my son.

While I celebrated my son's results here with a thread on boards.ie another family was grieving the loss of a beautiful daughter.

Do you think (and I'm assuming that as a Mod on a junior cert forum you have some insight into the thinking of a junior cert student) that a child of that age can work out the thinking in your statement here?.

As a mod of a Junior cert forum I'm surprised (and disappointed) to think you've little understanding of junior cert students stress.

Where's the need to get so rude and thick? Junior Cert students are not small children. They are young adults - perfectly capable of knowing the consequences of any actions they might take. I fully agree with Piste - it's a terrible thing to consider taking your own life but doing it in a manner that affects and scars far more innocent people then is necessary is selfish. We were all Junior Cert students at some stage, and 99% of us pass it without looking back. Sure, people have killed themselves over the most trivial of things - but it doesn't mean that the things they killed themselves over are inherently to blame in any way. A young girl who takes her own life over not getting the best grades possible is totally deviant; trying to imply Piste has no idea of the stress students are under over her comment is plain ignorance.

arybvtcw0eolkf

tech77 wrote: »

Mairt sorry to hear that..
Feel free not to answer this but:
How would you describe you and your wife's feelings towards your brother-in-law's suicide.
Anger, resentment, guilt, sadness, relief for him that he might be at peace now?
Or a combination.
Can you understand/make sense of the act?

He's at peace now. His demon's are gone and his suffering is over.

There's absolutely no angry from the family towards him or the act, but I'm not a spokemans for the family so I'm sure you can understand why I can't go into much more detail.

Slidey

orestes wrote: »

If I honestly told you what I think of this, I wouldn't just get banned from After Hours, I'd more than likely get sitebanned.

Where is the bloody thanks button.
+1 from moi

tech77

Mairt wrote: »

He's at peace now. His demon's are gone and his suffering is over.

There's absolutely no angry from the family towards him or the act, but I'm not a spokemans for the family so I'm sure you can understand why I can't go into much more detail.

Fair enough.

beautiation

orestes wrote: »

If I honestly told you what I think of this, I wouldn't just get banned from After Hours, I'd more than likely get sitebanned.

That's why there's a PM button, no?

Zaph

Mairt wrote: »

What a stupid statement from a Moderator on a Junior Cert forum.

I'm sure you remember the young girl who commit suicide in Dublin two year's ago (Howth Junction, I'm purposely not going into too much detail). She was a pupil at my childrens school, and was in the same junior cert class as my son.

While I celebrated my son's results here with a thread on boards.ie another family was grieving the loss of a beautiful daughter.

Do you think (and I'm assuming that as a Mod on a junior cert forum you have some insight into the thinking of a junior cert student) that a child of that age can work out the thinking in your statement here?.

As a mod of a Junior cert forum I'm surprised (and disappointed) to think you've little understanding of junior cert students stress.

Piste never made any reference to that girl, and that's only one case, there have been others involving fully grown adults so I fail to see why you're picking on her like that. I have to say that have I agree with Piste on this one. It's one thing deciding to take your own life if things get too much for you, and I can't imagine how bad life must be to get to that stage, but to involve innocent strangers in your death is just wrong.

arybvtcw0eolkf

tech77 wrote: »

Fair enough.

Sorry I don't mean to be giving you a short answer, but suicide is an emotive subject and I'd rather not go into too much detail.

Someone else here seem's to be of the opinion that I'm being ''thick and rude'', let 'em stew in ignorance I say.

Anyway, just thought I'd throw my 2 cents worth in here since I'm speaking with the (unfortunete) benefit of experience.

Regards.

Slidey

scratch that actually, not gettin banned over that

Dudess

To consider suicide selfish and cowardly is symptomatic of the misunderstandings surrounding mental illness. As I've said before, mental illness should be viewed the very same way as physical illness. Take bipolar disorder: I lived with, and became mates with, a girl who has bipolar disorder. She told me in great detail about what her life was like since she was diagnosed at 18 (she was 27 at the time of telling me). Hellish just about covers it. It's on a par with having a physical illness with bouts of unbearable pain on a regular basis - and we understand when people in that situation express their desire to be euthanised.

Mairt wrote: »

You haven't a clue what your talking about.

My brother-in-law commit suicide four year's ago.

But before doing it he'd received very good medical care for year's. For most of his adult life he suffered from depression, alcoholism and attended Gamblers-Anon.

He also tried unsuccessfully to kill himself a few times before he perfected his methods.

On his 53rd birth he rang us (my wife and I at home) and spoke to us while he took an overdose and slit his wrists.

I talked my wife out of rushing to the house, believing it was just another rant from him.

Next morning he was found dead.

At the end of the day his suffering got too much. He lived in a very dark world, one which you or I will thankfully (or hopefully) never experience.

His act wasn't selfish. He simply couldn't live with his demon's any longer.

Harsh Mairt. I don't think Susannahmia was saying anything that would contradict the above. She seemed to be saying simply that those who are suicidal don't see any other way out.

Mairt wrote: »

What a stupid statement from a Moderator on a Junior Cert forum.

I'm sure you remember the young girl who commit suicide in Dublin two year's ago (Howth Junction, I'm purposely not going into too much detail). She was a pupil at my childrens school, and was in the same junior cert class as my son.

While I celebrated my son's results here with a thread on boards.ie another family was grieving the loss of a beautiful daughter.

Do you think (and I'm assuming that as a Mod on a junior cert forum you have some insight into the thinking of a junior cert student) that a child of that age can work out the thinking in your statement here?.

As a mod of a Junior cert forum I'm surprised (and disappointed) to think you've little understanding of junior cert students stress.

I have to agree with Piste: if a person wants to end their life, they should not drag another person into it. Can you imagine what that would do to a train driver?

beautiation wrote: »

No, I can't agree. The OP knew how tongue in cheek this place is, and if they want a serious discussion on suicide they'd be best posting it somewhere else. Nothing but sympathy for those that this is an issue for, but why should they be allowed take over what is proudly one of the most irreverant forums on boards for their problems?

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Yes, After Hours is irreverend but it's also a place where serious topics are discussed with some level of maturity, and too much muppetry is not tolerated. Your (deleted) post is only suited to the Lolocaust - that's where you can be tasteless.

orestes

All taken care of, move along folks

I have considered it on occasion for short periods but I always tried to redirect my thoughts elsewhere when I did. My family are the reason I kept on going.

Dudess

I've seen you mention your lack of confidence a few times, Karsini.

Why not talk to someone? You don't deserve to be putting yourself down like that...

electric69

Im totally waaay too good looking to die.

Reku

Quality wrote: »

Its sad, I mean we all get a bit down in life, but as Denman pointed out, the future can be bright.

Or it can be a reminder that you've further to fall and things are heading that way, how can you cope with things getting even worse and there's no sign of it getting better.

Mairt wrote: »

But before doing it he'd received very good medical care for year's. For most of his adult life he suffered from depression, alcoholism and attended Gamblers-Anon.

He also tried unsuccessfully to kill himself a few times before he perfected his methods.

On his 53rd birth he rang us (my wife and I at home) and spoke to us while he took an overdose and slit his wrists.

I talked my wife out of rushing to the house, believing it was just another rant from him.

Next morning he was found dead.

At the end of the day his suffering got too much. He lived in a very dark world, one which you or I will thankfully (or hopefully) never experience.

His act wasn't selfish. He simply couldn't live with his demon's any longer.

Just as you can't make every criminal a law abiding citizen no matter what you try you can't make everyone able to cope with life, some of us just aren't suited to it.
Hope neither you or your wife blame yourselves, had you gone you would only have delayed things.



I'd have to agree with Piste & Dudess to an extent, it is a rather horrible way to do it in terms of it's effect on the driver but the thing to keep in mind is some of these may even be cases of someone just snapping, given that last final emotional push, no planning, just "I need to die now".


As to people thinking that a junior cert student is not capable of thinking such complicated issues through I decided I wanted to die when I was about 10, took me until I was 15 to finally give up waiting. Even at that age though I knew I didn't want to ruin someone's day by smashing up their car and possibly leaving them with guilt over it and whether there was anything they could have done. Difference possibly being, as I say above, they may have just gotten the final emotional push that it took to break them when they were near a train track. Perhaps they still feared the pain of cutting their wrists or hanging, maybe they knew that the train would do enough damage that their parents wouldn't be allowed on the scene, maybe they were worried that if they hung themselves/OD-ed/slashed their wrists they'd have to do it at home, ruining the home for their family.
I believe I've already pointed out in this thread that no-one just wakes up one day and decided they want to die, they are slowly pushed that way bit by bit until they can't deal with it anymore, I'd bet most of suicides started fantasising about dying long before we acted on those fantasies. As such you'd be surprised how much thinking you can put into the act, not that different to how much planning a prisoner with no hope of release will put into their escape.

Dudess

farohar wrote: »

I'd have to agree with Piste & Dudess to an extent, it is a rather horrible way to do it in terms of it's effect on the driver but the thing to keep in mind is some of these may even be cases of someone just snapping, given that last final emotional push, no planning, just "I need to die now".

True, to be fair.

Duckjob

Thats a scary poll - nearly 1 in 10 people here has actually made an attempt to end their own life.

I'd probably be in the 'half heartedly considered it' category in that there'd have been dark times when I morbidly mused on the 'simplicity' of driving my car off a cliff or something similar.

Can't say I've ever gotten near the stage of planning anything though. Even in my darkest hours, I've always held onto the belief that things could and would change - I can't imagine what it's like not to be able to keep that belief.