Talk About Your Relationships Here

sweetheart

Joey the lips wrote: »

When he comes home give him a day if he has not asked just say "Well I am waiting...." Dont worry he is prob planning it all in his head

thanks joey think i just needed someone elses opinion to be reassured cos im doing the whole will he wont he thing in my head and its driving me mad:eek::eek:

RxQueen

Novella wrote: »

I now hate men So yep, I'm currently a lesbian!

cant live with em, cant live without em !

Cassidy1

Does anyone have a similar problem to me?? My man, who i have been with for years has a serious problem with getting up in the mornings. I always blamed that he stays up too late but he tried the going to bed early thing and it just doesnt work. He says he really tries but it is driving me demented. I dont drive and he takes me to work and our little boy to creche every day but usually late and i hate being late.

I dont know if it is a medical problem or just him it is really getting me down now and we are fighting a lot over it. seriously it takes him hours to get up.

If anyone has the same problem and can help i would really appreciate this!

barleybooley

I love my boyfriend

*runs away in knowledge of the string of abuse about to follow*

pikachucheeks

My love life is a disaster.

Although, I'm glad in some ways;

- It's made me more determined person. I've realised that love's not easy and in life, it's rare that something just ... falls into your lap.

- It makes for interesting stories.

- It amuses my friends

Things took a turn for the better, for the first time ever, early this year, when I met a great guy. We got on really well, then he dropped the bomb that he was moving to Canada.

For that reason, we didn't see much of each other, as we felt it would make things harder when he left. Still, it was hard when he left - and I told him this - because it makes it real, the fact that me and him were something that could have been, but never were.

Since he's been gone, I've realised that we are pretty different. From conversations we've had on msn etc, I've started to realise that if he'd stayed, the chances of us "working out" were actually pretty slim, because we both seem to want such different things.

For example, I asked him what his main motivation was in life. He said "to have fun" ... and for some reason, my heart just sank. I'm all for having fun, but it made me ... sad to learn that he doesn't share the same motivations in life; to have a career, to achieve - he seems happy just to go out and have a laugh.

That's fine, but I'm not sure I'd be compatible with someone like that, in the long run.

It's weird, because he's 31 and I'm 20 - and the conversation we had made it seem like he was the younger one. Sometimes, I feel way too mature for my age.

We're still great friends though. It's amazing to be in a situation with him where we can talk about everything that happened between us, be very close, then turn around and talk about our current love-lives. It's nice to be able to ask for his advice on things too; like how I can handle a situation with a guy, what I should wear on a night out because he knows what suits me, or even how I can improve in the bedroom :pac:

kingtut

Relationships suck! That's all I have to say on the matter.

Corb

kingtut wrote: »

Relationships suck! That's all I have to say on the matter.

No they don't, they're great! You obviously just haven't had a good one yet.

Vinny-Chase

Cassidy1 wrote: »

Does anyone have a similar problem to me?? My man, who i have been with for years has a serious problem with getting up in the mornings. I always blamed that he stays up too late but he tried the going to bed early thing and it just doesnt work. He says he really tries but it is driving me demented. I dont drive and he takes me to work and our little boy to creche every day but usually late and i hate being late.

I dont know if it is a medical problem or just him it is really getting me down now and we are fighting a lot over it. seriously it takes him hours to get up.

If anyone has the same problem and can help i would really appreciate this!

Does your man work? It could be question of motivation if he's not working.

Is he out of shape? I found the fitter I got, getting out of the bed in the morning wasn't as difficult. Possible to persuade him to go out for a walk/ run in the evenings?

Jesshoney

Just want some light shed on guys who seem really interested, ask for your phone number and then don't call-what was the point in asking in the first place!!!!!

Any ideas ladies??

TheZohanS

Jesshoney wrote: »

Just want some light shed on guys who seem really interested, ask for your phone number and then don't call-what was the point in asking in the first place!!!!!

Any ideas ladies??

I'm no lady but....

Have you tried calling/texting him?

He might just be busy, it happens.

Sometimes we need a little reminder/nudge!

Abi

Jesshoney wrote: »

Just want some light shed on guys who seem really interested, ask for your phone number and then don't call-what was the point in asking in the first place!!!!!

Any ideas ladies??

It could be what Zohan said. But if you didn't also take his number, it could be a case of what I do alllllll the time. I never save a name properly in my phone, couple of days later you've yet another mystery number in your phone. I've had to get rid of a few from my phone recently, because I've no idea who they are.

Bit sh1tty of me maybe, but you don't really have your head screwed on when you've just drank a vat of wine =P

Vinny-Chase

Jesshoney wrote: »

Just want some light shed on guys who seem really interested, ask for your phone number and then don't call-what was the point in asking in the first place!!!!!

Any ideas ladies??

That's a two way street.

There's been a few occasions where I've asked a girl for their number, text them and never heard back. And I only ever do it after I've been talking to a girl for a while, not like tapping people on the shoulder and saying "here, giz your number luv will ye". I never ask for the sake of asking.

I also made it clear that I wouldn't at all be offended if they don't want to.

I guess they're just being polite, on both fronts.

Personally I wouldn't ask a girl for her number unless I planned on contacting her again.

Jesshoney

Thanks Guys for your response.

It's a case where I have been talking to the guy for a while everything seems to be going well, I say goodnight, head home with the friends and never hear another word. I'm not desperate and never initiate the conversation or the flirting. I don't know what I'm doing wrong!!! I am also very select over who I give my number to (obviously not select enough!)

The funny thing is I dont want a serious relationship, just a bit of harmless texting would suit me grand!!!

My friend says that I'm too old fashioned and because I won't have one night stands that guys arent interested cause they reckon plenty of girls will.... but then why ask for the number!!

The funny thing is, this friend who regularly sleeps with guys on the first night always hears from them the next day!!!

I am now nervous to give my number out cause the lack of response is making me paranoid!!!(at 21 I'm surely too young for this!!!))

shellyboo

Jesshoney wrote: »

I'm not desperate and never initiate the conversation or the flirting. I don't know what I'm doing wrong!!!

That's what you're doing wrong. You can't expect the poor guys to go out on a limb if you're not giving them any inclination that you're interested.

Jesshoney

but surely giving the number is enough!!! on one of the occasions I also kissed the guy. Would guys really be that insecure??

shellyboo

Jesshoney wrote: »

but surely giving the number is enough!!! on one of the occasions I also kissed the guy. Would guys really be that insecure??

You're obviously that insecure, what makes you think guys are any different?

Jesshoney

I'm only insecure cause dere not texting me!! I just don't understand!!! Does this happen to other girls????!!!! They chat me up, buy couple of drinks,ask for my number but thats as far as it goes!!

After the third time of course i think it's me!! Cause it doesnt seem to happen to anyone else? (or does it happen but they dont dwell/discuss it!!):o

Vinny-Chase

Jesshoney wrote: »

They chat me up, buy couple of drinks,ask for my number but thats as far as it goes!!

That is a bit mental!

shellyboo

Jesshoney wrote: »

I'm only insecure cause dere not texting me!! I just don't understand!!! Does this happen to other girls????!!!! They chat me up, buy couple of drinks,ask for my number but thats as far as it goes!!

After the third time of course i think it's me!! Cause it doesnt seem to happen to anyone else? (or does it happen but they dont dwell/discuss it!!):o

It happens to everyone. You can't expect men to do all the running, I'm afraid! You have to put out what you want to get back. If you want men to flirt with you, be flirty. If you're interested, text him. You can't complain about men not taking the initiative if you're not prepared to take it yourself!

Men aren't super-confident any more than women are. They need encouragement too. Give them a break!

Vinny-Chase

I think what she's saying is men do approach her, chat her up, buy her drink, then ask for her number, THEN don't get in contact, after doing all the hard work? I think...

shellyboo

Vinny-Chase wrote: »

I think what she's saying is men do approach her, chat her up, buy her drink, then ask for her number, THEN don't get in contact, after doing all the hard work? I think...

She is... but if she's not given them any encouragement while they're doing that then they're going to think she's just fobbed them off.

She should be taking their number as well and taking the initiative. Dutch courage fades pretty quickly the day after, it's very easy to convince yourself that the other person wasn't as interested as you thought at the time and just say "ah sure I'll forget it."

I guess I'm just of the opinion that if you want something, reach out and take it. If you don't ask, you don't get!

Jesshoney

I suppose that makes sense-I know by this stage you probs think I'm stuck ina 1950's time warp!!!! but will the guy not think i'm a desperado by asking for his number too!!!

I've just always been of the school of thought that if the guy is interested he will do all the running. I know it's not very fair but I've just come out of a 3 year relationship where the initial chatting up etc. was done solely by him... Maybe I'm a bit clueless!!!

Why if they ask for the number do they not text-this does not encourage me to ask for numbers and text them!!!!!

ciagr297

shellyboo wrote: »

It happens to everyone. You can't expect men to do all the running, I'm afraid! You have to put out what you want to get back. If you want men to flirt with you, be flirty. If you're interested, text him. You can't complain about men not taking the initiative if you're not prepared to take it yourself!

Men aren't super-confident any more than women are. They need encouragement too. Give them a break!

agreed shellyboo, i think alot of us girls are under the impression that its boys job to do all the chasing.
i mean its one thing to start a text chat with the guy a few times and he does likewise.
its quite another if you are always initiating contact with the same guy all the time (doesn't really count if it is a different guy each time)

shellyboo

Jesshoney wrote: »

I suppose that makes sense-I know by this stage you probs think I'm stuck ina 1950's time warp!!!! but will the guy not think i'm a desperado by asking for his number too!!!

Do you think he's desperate for asking for yours?!

You need to get out of this "men do the chasing" thing... it's not really fair on men. Women can be really harsh and cruel to guys these days, and it's really discouraging and it's putting loads of men off putting themselves out there. To combat that, us ladies need to get a bit more proactive!

Jesshoney wrote: »

I've just always been of the school of thought that if the guy is interested he will do all the running. I know it's not very fair but I've just come out of a 3 year relationship where the initial chatting up etc. was done solely by him... Maybe I'm a bit clueless!!!

Why if they ask for the number do they not text-this does not encourage me to ask for numbers and text them!!!!!

Could be a million reasons why they don't text, ranging from them bottling it, to being too drunk to remember, to thinking there's no point, etc etc.

Saucey-Susie

my relationship is just brilliant (sorry!!) i couldnt have asked for a better guy. after seeing my ex for nearly two years and all the hassle i went through with him... you name it, ive gone through it, its just such a relief to meet someone so much more mature,even tho he is younger, and someone who completely and utterly adores me, and i do him. its been just over 3 years we are together and every single day he sees me, he tells me how gorgeous i am and how much he loves me. he doesnt say it just for the sake of it, he really means it too. i just feel so so lucky.

Jesshoney

Thanks for all comments and advice-especially Shellyboo, you are very clued in!!!!

I'll have to put all this advice to good use in the future!!! I reckon dutch courage is necessary with this new change in attitude!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vinny-Chase

shellyboo wrote: »

You need to get out of this "men do the chasing" thing... it's not really fair on men. Women can be really harsh and cruel to guys these days, and it's really discouraging and it's putting loads of men off putting themselves out there. To combat that, us ladies need to get a bit more proactive!

Fair play Shelly, great attitude.

IWishh

Just to ask a quick question on my current relationship and get opinions.
I'll keep it short!

I've been seeing a guy since Christmas, starting officially seeing each other around a 2/3 months ago (never sat down and discussed it to be official, just led into it and we both understood without having to say). A couple of my friends who have been with boyfriends past 2/3 years say thats really weird and it needs to be properly stated - whereas I don't think so.

Secondly, they say we're not properly bf/gf because we could go 2/3 days without talking to each other - god forbid! And its strange because we wouldn't ring each other every night, or text at least 3 times a day at different intervals.

I think they're crazy but they keep saying "We've been with out bf's 2/3 years blah blah we know what we're talking about whereas this is your first bf".


Who's in the wrong?

Vinny-Chase

Every situation is different, to be honest.
I don't think the actual "so, we're boyfriend/ girlfriend now then eh?" conversation necessarily has to take place as things do tend to just go that way.

I would find it a little unusual that you don't talk for days on end. My last relationship even when we were living together, we text each other during the working day.

But again, it all depends on your situation.

If you don't have a problem with it, your friends shouldn't.

crazyy

need to vent
I've always thought I really just wanted a longterm relationship, a proper boyfriend and all the rest. But now I'm in one and I just want out.
I really like the guy and everything but I just seem to freak out about commitments. I was always sure that I wanted a commitment and now I'm so confused. I don't want to lose a good thing for no real reason but I just can't help wanting to escape from the relationship. What is wrong with me?!:eek:

White_Feather

crazyy wrote: »

need to vent
I've always thought I really just wanted a longterm relationship, a proper boyfriend and all the rest. But now I'm in one and I just want out.
I really like the guy and everything but I just seem to freak out about commitments. I was always sure that I wanted a commitment and now I'm so confused. I don't want to lose a good thing for no real reason but I just can't help wanting to escape from the relationship. What is wrong with me?!:eek:

I went through this 2 months ago and it lasted for about a week. To make things worse, I finished things once before between us and ended up majorly regretting it, so I started to really panic when I got the ''i think i want to be single'' feeling again. My advice is, wait. Dont make any hasty decisions just yet, incase you end up like me, regretting it. We were over for 8 months before I finally got him back and Im smitten with him!

discobeaker

Ok my last 2 ex girlfriends turned out to completely screwed me over.

The last one decided to go to portugal and cheat on me,i find this out by a picture of her and him on her facebook!

The one before her,well we were together for 3 years,she cheated on me one night and i caught her at it,we split up but got back together after awhile,about a year later we were celebrating our 3 years together. I take her on holiday,pay for everything as a thank you as i had a tough few months. We had a great time and it was fantastic. The day after we get back i find out she cheated on me again 2 days before we were meant to go away!

So thats my rant and im still a single 25 year old guy so if anyone fancies showing me that not all girls are cheaters then feel free to say hi or PM me.

Thanks for listening

Chris

Lia_lia

Me and my boyfriend broke up. Well, he dumped me. On holidays! ugh.

RxQueen

Ouch.. that certainly wasnt that best timing. *hugs*

This

not loving my relationship today.......

spent the weekend with him, then we went to oxygen on sunday, i went home sunday night as work on mon morn he stayed on and i had given him my work phone coz his battery went. didnt call me all night all day yday. had to go to his house to collect stuff i left (2 hours on the bus wooo) ended up ringing his bro to collect me etc. my bf was in the pub went in to get my work phone, then i was gonna go to his have a shower to go bed. bf was drunk. took him home. hes goes to bed i have a shower go to bed in his bros room. 4am bf wakes up and decides to start fighting. i get up at 6am to go back to work. look at my work phone. he had been calling everyone off my phone accept me. woke him up to tell him i was leaving. 'i didnt even know you were here'

cheers love!!!!!!!

he lost his phone at oxygen so i dunno when i'll hear from him... but im not calling his bro again!!!!!!

mollybird

heh guys.
my OH came up to see me last night. came up really tired cause he was rushing around getting things when he dropped to the apt before leaving for mine. we live 40 min apart. he seemed in good form during hte evening and during dinner he said he wanted to go out and get drunk but when we left the restaurant he said he wanted to go home. got up this morning and i talked about going up to see him tonight and he went a bit mad . i got the feeling he didn't want me to come up. a while later i was about to snuggle him and he pushed me away.

he left without saying good bye or even a kiss. not talked to him for the rest of the day and told him at 8 tonight that i was not coming down to him. (just so he wouldn't worry as he tends to do if he has not heard from me) and he just said he figured.

only reason i'm not talking to him is cause i don't like him making me feel that i'm making him rushing around to get up to me.

it prob not much but i feel like **** and i'm just miserable.

Joey the lips

mollybird wrote: »

heh guys.
my OH came up to see me last night. came up really tired cause he was rushing around getting things when he dropped to the apt before leaving for mine. we live 40 min apart. he seemed in good form during hte evening and during dinner he said he wanted to go out and get drunk but when we left the restaurant he said he wanted to go home. got up this morning and i talked about going up to see him tonight and he went a bit mad . i got the feeling he didn't want me to come up. a while later i was about to snuggle him and he pushed me away.

he left without saying good bye or even a kiss. not talked to him for the rest of the day and told him at 8 tonight that i was not coming down to him. (just so he wouldn't worry as he tends to do if he has not heard from me) and he just said he figured.

only reason i'm not talking to him is cause i don't like him making me feel that i'm making him rushing around to get up to me.

it prob not much but i feel like **** and i'm just miserable.

Everybody goes through this one. especially when your living apart. just send him a txt message with a couple of xxx(Kisses) on it. I have not doubt he is feeling sh1tty as well.

Novella

A little beam of sunshine in all the misery.... After two years of kissing a boy, last night I actually decided to tell him I like him and wooooo, he likes me too so yay for life and love and things!!!!!!


(must not become a horrible, squishy, lovey dovey loser!)

thatone!

Well my relationship just ended realised I couldn't cope with long distance...wanted to stay friends but he said no..

Sephiroth_dude

thatone! wrote: »

Well my relationship just ended realised I couldn't cope with long distance...wanted to stay friends but he said no..

Its hard to stay friends with an ex after a breakup,it never really works out(in my experience),Just give him space to sort his head out.If he wants to contact you he will and if he does'nt oh well you'll get over it.

Edgedinblue

Not that big of a prob, but i miss my boyfriend! we're together a year and we've pretty much been glued to each other from day one. and the first time in pretty much a year im away from him for a week, its not fun!

sorry to hear about the break ups girlies and guyies! *astral hugs!*

save_our_socks

Uh had to go looking for this thread.....So mad at himself....been together for well over 3 years now, he calls over the other night, seemed a bit off, knew he was feeling sick so let him be. Then out of know where he asks if Ive cheated on him, tell him no, which is the gods honest truth, doesnt seem to believe me because apparently Ive given him an sti!
Now I got tested a while after we started going out and I was clean, so march him to the doc the next morning, prior to going in he tells me hes convinced its an sti because of new symptoms, blah blah blah. Turns out he's a uti....so so mad at him for assuming the worst! He knows how I feel about cheating due to family circumstances and on top of that Im the worst liar cannot keep anything to myself! Ill admit I ate the last cookie for christ sake!

SeekUp

save_our_socks wrote: »

Uh had to go looking for this thread.....So mad at himself....been together for well over 3 years now, he calls over the other night, seemed a bit off, knew he was feeling sick so let him be. Then out of know where he asks if Ive cheated on him, tell him no, which is the gods honest truth, doesnt seem to believe me because apparently Ive given him an sti!
Now I got tested a while after we started going out and I was clean, so march him to the doc the next morning, prior to going in he tells me hes convinced its an sti because of new symptoms, blah blah blah. Turns out he's a uti....so so mad at him for assuming the worst! He knows how I feel about cheating due to family circumstances and on top of that Im the worst liar cannot keep anything to myself! Ill admit I ate the last cookie for christ sake!

I know you're upset, but my OH and I were in this exact same situation (as had been one of my friends and her now-husband!). In my situation, I was the one accusing him . . . you think you have an sti, and you're told you can only get it one way, and so you think well, logically speaking, if it wasn't me that cheated, it had to be him! Aaaand the questions and accusations start flying. Again, I know you're upset, and it's hard to hear that from someone so close. But try to cut him a little bit of slack -- he obviously would never have thought you'd cheated otherwise (as in, if he didn't think he had an sti). In any case, I'm very glad that it's a uti and nothing more!

save_our_socks

I wouldnt have minded too much if he said x is wrong with me any idea what it could be....because the first thing that came to my mind was a uti/kidney infection, which is what I said to him and he didnt believe me. It was just the straight out accusation that hurt the most I suppose, I know Ill get over it and Im trying to be nice to him, but he knows how I feel about cheating and have seen first hand how it can tear a relationship/family apart and ruin the lives of so many, so its not something Ill ever entertain.

SmellySockies

My boyf said I love you to me the other day and Ive only been with him 2 weeks! I dont wanna dump him over it because I do really like this guy but he cant be in love after 2 weeks!! Is it actually possible??? We dont even properly know each other yet!

Sephiroth_dude

Whatever you do,dont say it back unless you mean it.

SmellySockies

Oh no I would never do that! I basically said to him ''how do you know its love after 2 weeks! it could be just lust'' and then he said his reasons and stuff but I really dont know!

SeekUp

save_our_socks wrote: »

I wouldnt have minded too much if he said x is wrong with me any idea what it could be....because the first thing that came to my mind was a uti/kidney infection, which is what I said to him and he didnt believe me. It was just the straight out accusation that hurt the most I suppose, I know Ill get over it and Im trying to be nice to him, but he knows how I feel about cheating and have seen first hand how it can tear a relationship/family apart and ruin the lives of so many, so its not something Ill ever entertain.

I hear ya!

nellyelly

TheZohan wrote: »

I'm no lady but....

Have you tried calling/texting him?

He might just be busy, it happens.

Sometimes we need a little reminder/nudge!

Ok, I'm just wondering what the 'norm' is on texting/contacting ...I had a 'one nighter' (i know) last weekend, he texted me the next day and then again the other night. We had a great laugh and he said he'd be in contact again... (i really hope he is)

BUT, should I text him at this stage to let him know I'm interested or just trust that he will be in contact? (he's been true to his work so far....) I don't wanna scare him off

Cheers

Lia_lia

I SERIOUSLY need to branch out from guys in this town. It's getting ridiculous at this stage. When you are in a room with 5 guys and you been with all of them at some stage it's horrible! And they are ALL friends! And I've been in college in Cork for 2 years yet NEVER been with a guy from Cork. Granted I've been with Killarney boys in Cork though, pfft.

I dunno. There was this one (Killarney) guy over Christmas who I really actually like, but now I've fucked things up with him. Whatever. Rawr.