Talk About Your Relationships Here

Crumble Froo

Kazobel wrote: »

I'm learning how people think tbh, my girlfriend now has two kids, one has Down syndrome and their dad left the day she was born because he seen her as a flaw. She doesn't recognise him at all because she has limited face recognition abilities (she can hold 5 people in at a time) but sees me as her other parent and I'm happy to be that person for her so I like to think that maybe all the **** was to lead me to her where she'd have someone that really does love her as opposed to the fake **** her dad gives, he's even asked for my girlfriends 5 year old on her own and not have to take the baby on the days he has access

ha, i do recall when i was younger and going through a lot of really really bad ****, an adult who took an interest in my case used to say a lot that she believes everything happens for a reason. and i used to think that was pure bull****... and now... looking at where i am and how happy i am, and where i was , and how i could never have gotten here if it wasnt for the bad ****...
i think she was right. life is a strange piece of fish.

spinandscribble

ours was about me feeling paranoid about his flirting and his throw away jokey comments *i hate you lol* ect. eventually i realised he didnt care for me and i was going throught a bad time at home so going stand it. i was coming from dublin and i met a guy on a train who was nice to me and made me realise i deserved more. i talked to him as a unbiased opinion on the way back home on the train. it cleared my mind and i decided to dump my bf. it wasnt going anywhere and was making us both miserable.
i accidently bumped into the train fella then next day and while we spent some time together after the break up, it didnt work out but thats another story.

Clare Bear

Karen33 wrote: »

Insight please into a guy who's a flirt, can't commit and tries to make someone jealous. And then blames everything on you

A FOOKING EEJIT!!!!!!!!!

Cathmandooo

Clare Bear wrote: »

A FOOKING EEJIT!!!!!!!!!

Agreed!

Hope you two girlies are doing ok today, men who needs em

pow wow

As Oprah would say: these guys give you signs! before my lad told me to ease off being public about us because he was seeing someone else he used to say 'I keep waiting for the day you realise I'm not as great as you think I am'. Think less 'modest' and more 'cheating $hitbag'. lol. Also, when we first met, we got a little tipsy and did the whole 'ask me any question you like' thing. Usually it would be something a bit cheeky but insightful, his was 'do you wax your bits?'. And they say romance is dead.

When we eventually split he made it obvious that this girl is far more important to him than me (think about it, if you stalked your man's facebook/bebo and started ranting about who his female friends were he'd call you a stalker....when I asked what this girl was even doing gawking at my page he said it was 'perfectly normal' for you to look up all your partner's friends on bebo or whatever and ask a zillion questions about them...) he still carried on with the 'you're amazing I want us to stay in touch, me and her are nothing serious' in between going out on dates with her obviously.

We cut all contact when we were both invited to a mutual friend's wedding (more my friend than his, hence him being surprised he got an invite). He text me, referring to the wedding invite, saying 'guess what I got?'. I replied 'several STIs?' and that was pretty much that.

spinandscribble

ellscurr wrote: »

We cut all contact when we were both invited to a mutual friend's wedding (more my friend than his, hence him being surprised he got an invite). He text me, referring to the wedding invite, saying 'guess what I got?'. I replied 'several STIs?' and that was pretty much that.

oh oh *bows*

yeah nothing hurts a scumbag more then STI jokes, but thats usually because deep down they're scared too. otherwise they'd laugh it off

SarahSassy

*Murphy* wrote: »

woke up to a text saying he was breakin up with me

blamed me for the break up

got engaged

begged me to get back with him

got married and got the lady pregnent

all within the space of 3 months.

likes to spread nice rumours about me still.... (this was 2 years ago now!!)

she was my best friend.......

The flippin fools - her and him... Are they still together? Was she so stupid to think if he did it to you he wouldnt do it to her????

They deserve each other..

SarahSassy

cornbb wrote: »

I'm curious though, does this happen a lot? There are a lot of horror stories here but is it a large number compared to the number of relatively civilised (albeit painful) breakups that happen? I'd hate to think that the guys that do this are anything but a small minority...

Its sad to say they generally tend to be spineless and disappear rather than tell you its finished. This seems extremely common... Doesnt seem to matter what age they are.

Crumble Froo

i think most people have had a few exes in their time at this stage...a nd most have probably not been mentioned.

monkeyfudge

Yeah... we tend to gloss over the ones who had beaks.

Wibbs

SarahSassy wrote: »

I see a common thread here - men cant leave women until they have someone to move to....

I dunno about that. It really depends on so many things. Age is a big part of it from what I've seen. Also what you define as a relationship is part of it. In general and in my experience, men will hop from something casual to the next interesting thing more than women. Then again women are way more prone to hopping from one serious relationship right into the next, without working on the things that screwed the pooch with the first one. More women than men find it difficult to be single for any length of time. I can think of many more women I've known going from rebound to rebound. Way more than men. Yes men may have a fling to get over a long term serious thing, but it seems to me much rarer for them to go into a serious thing straight after.

Wibbs

ellscurr wrote: »

As Oprah would say: these guys give you signs!

People do all the time. Lust or love usually screws with your vision though Simple one's to watch for and I've seen this with women mates of mine.
Look at how they treat women who aren't family and whom they're not sexually attracted too. That's his default setting in how he looks at women and how you'll be treated after the honeymoon's over. Not just the obvious stuff either. Does he think of women as separate creatures that are either loved, screwed or to be dismissed as a bit daft? A them and us attitude is not a good sign.

Avoid guys who come out with I love you way too early. Under 4 months I would say. They'll fall out of love just as quick. Emotionally immature types can't express themselves well so either go over the top or act cold.

Bad temper. Not good, especially if it's directed at you. Leave and quick.

Paranoia not good.

Putting you down a lot, is another one. Usually passed off as joking at first.

What worries or annoys you in the early stages will cause problems later on and will be most likely the reason for a split.

if you're making excuses for them, for stuff they're doing and blaming yourself, that's a bad sign.

Pretty much the same for guys looking at women really.

before my lad told me to ease off being public about us because he was seeing someone else he used to say 'I keep waiting for the day you realise I'm not as great as you think I am'. Think less 'modest' and more 'cheating $hitbag'. lol.

Classic example, he was telling you exactly what was what.

Also, when we first met, we got a little tipsy and did the whole 'ask me any question you like' thing. Usually it would be something a bit cheeky but insightful, his was 'do you wax your bits?'. And they say romance is dead.

Didn't stop you though did it? That would be the lust...

He text me, referring to the wedding invite, saying 'guess what I got?'. I replied 'several STIs?' and that was pretty much that.

Sweet. Will file that away for future ref.

Clare Bear

God I never realised how many songs on the radio are about break ups....even that Mutya's Don't Panic or whatever it's called song is on now and I used to hate it but she's making sense today. Who knew!

Eurgh now that fupping Rooney song is on, why is that song so popular. I hate it. Big moany voice on him!

I'm telling ya, I'm setting up the Planet X - sending all ex boyfriends to it, even the nice ones (cause those feckers are the worst) I'll get back to ye when I find out how to make a Planet a million miles away, can't be that hard.

Crumble Froo

hint: don't listen to radio.

that said, i have to admit i have a playlist on dustin for when im feelin down bout love :P :S

Featherl

Cathoo,

U were right to text him and ask him why he did that! It was strange, he could have come in and said hello to you after coming up that far!

He is just trying to wreck your head

SarahSassy

Well girls, I have to say, despite the fact I should be on hols visiting him this week I am doing very well. I think it was a blessing in disguise that he treated me so badly... Its making it easier. Have not contacted him and have heard nothing from him (the spineless %$&£)...

Hope the calm continues.....

SW81

Good girl! Go you!!

Maple

SarahSassy wrote: »

Well girls, I have to say, despite the fact I should be on hols visiting him this week I am doing very well. I think it was a blessing in disguise that he treated me so badly... Its making it easier. Have not contacted him and have heard nothing from him (the spineless %$&£)...

Hope the calm continues.....

woo hoo! Go girl!

azezil

My gawd you're never going to meet a partner if you bad mouth every ex you've been with so publicly, ok you got hurt, we all do but if you need to talk to someone about it do it with a close friend, in private!

It's times like this I'm glad I'm gay :rolleyes:

Rozabeez

Clingy, controlling, arrogant, pushy, dominating, offensive, yet switches to the "I love you more than life itself" crap when he senses that I've had enough.

He'll possibly read this, then text me informing me how hurt he is that I think such things.

Ever felt completely smothered by someone?

Take your f**cking ring back, and find some weak little bitch to push around, asshole.

/me breathes.

Rant over.

Baudelaire

Cnut! nuff said

Jesus :O

/keep breathing honey

Rozabeez

The ring isn't an engagement ring, btw. It's just his ring which he made me take and "wear as long as you love me".

I'm wearing no jewellery. Grrrrrrrr.

Wibbs

SarahSassy wrote: »

Have not contacted him and have heard nothing from him (the spineless %$&£)...

Funny enough, that's the best thing he could have done for you subconsciously or not.

Wibbs

Rozabeez wrote: »

Clingy, controlling, arrogant, pushy, dominating, offensive, yet switches to the "I love you more than life itself" crap when he senses that I've had enough.

Standard stuff for immature types. Life will knock the edges off that in time.

He'll possibly read this, then text me informing me how hurt he is that I think such things.

Lack of self awareness. Always a good one that.

Take your f**cking ring back, and find some weak little bitch to push around, asshole.

Ouch even I felt that one.:D

Cathmandooo

Rozabeez wrote: »

The ring isn't an engagement ring, btw. It's just his ring which he made me take and "wear as long as you love me".

I'm wearing no jewellery. Grrrrrrrr.

Is his name Danny Zuko? 'Take your piece of tin'

Clare Bear

Keep breathing Rozabeez

MayMay

Being friends with an ex...yes or no? Recently got dumped and still like the guy...haven't spoken in 2 weeks now and it's getting easier but I miss him...get back in touch or just leave it?

gcgirl

MayMay wrote: »

Being friends with an ex...yes or no? Recently got dumped and still like the guy...haven't spoken in 2 weeks now and it's getting easier but I miss him...get back in touch or just leave it?

totally leave it!

MayMay

So hard

Wibbs

MayMay wrote: »

Being friends with an ex...yes or no? Recently got dumped and still like the guy...haven't spoken in 2 weeks now and it's getting easier but I miss him...get back in touch or just leave it?

Bad plan. If you dumped them it's just selfish to keep them around and if they dumped you you'll hang around with the hope for something more in the back of your mind. Either way baaaaad plan.

SheRa

azezil wrote: »

My gawd you're never going to meet a partner if you bad mouth every ex you've been with so publicly, ok you got hurt, we all do but if you need to talk to someone about it do it with a close friend, in private!

It's times like this I'm glad I'm gay :rolleyes:

Ok I hope that you were taking the pee with the comments above. In the event that you are not:

Having an anonymous rant about your ex partner is hardly bad mouthing them publicly:rolleyes:. I have read through this thread and there is not one post that would provide enough info to identify any ex.

Your last sentence astounds me. You make a sweeping generalisation that gay people dont rant about their ex's publicly, like being gay makes you immune to this. I would never presume that somebodies sexuality (gay, straight, bi, tg or whatever) would determine how they react to any situation including a breakup.



Ok and breathe. Rant over:D:D.

I am assuming a lot of people who go to beers etc know roz and her man , i'm sure thats all that was meant!

MayMay

MayMay wrote: »

Being friends with an ex...yes or no? Recently got dumped and still like the guy...haven't spoken in 2 weeks now and it's getting easier but I miss him...get back in touch or just leave it?

not after 2 weeks
when youre over it and dont have any hopes there anymore, send a text to see how things are going if you still want

but being friends with exes in general, thats fine I find

MayMay

Thanks, I know ye're right, it's just hard that's all. But thanks for the advice. I know myself it's the only way to go. Doesn't make it any easier though. But I'll get there.

Plan_D

coolsmileygirl wrote: »

I am assuming a lot of people who go to beers etc know roz and her man , i'm sure thats all that was meant!

Damn right!

Nothing more exciting than an internet split/bust up

I'd advise listining to what wibbs has to say because he made a few good posts in the past.

Wibbs

SheRa wrote:

Your last sentence astounds me. You make a sweeping generalisation that gay people dont rant about their ex's publicly, like being gay makes you immune to this. I would never presume that somebodies sexuality (gay, straight, bi, tg or whatever) would determine how they react to any situation including a breakup.

I was thinking the same. Weird one for azezil too though I would be the same with the oul privacy TBH. No one is immune to being an over emotional whining wreck at times, man, woman, gay, straight or farmyard animal, though chickens are hard arses.

Plan_D wrote: »

I'd advise listining to what wibbs has to say because he made a few good posts in the past.

Damn I need to get a picture of that for posterity. The trick is finding the very scarce good posts from the general dross I write...

Ginny

coolsmileygirl wrote: »

I am assuming a lot of people who go to beers etc know roz and her man , i'm sure thats all that was meant!

But Azezils post was before Rozs.

SarahSassy

SheRa wrote: »

Ok I hope that you were taking the pee with the comments above. In the event that you are not:

Having an anonymous rant about your ex partner is hardly bad mouthing them publicly:rolleyes:. I have read through this thread and there is not one post that would provide enough info to identify any ex.

Your last sentence astounds me. You make a sweeping generalisation that gay people dont rant about their ex's publicly, like being gay makes you immune to this. I would never presume that somebodies sexuality (gay, straight, bi, tg or whatever) would determine how they react to any situation including a breakup.



Ok and breathe. Rant over:D:D.

+ 1

I assumed that post was a P take cos its too ridiculous otherwise.

SarahSassy

Wibbs wrote: »

Funny enough, that's the best thing he could have done for you subconsciously or not.

Oh I know. I guess I am disappointed in him as a friend.

SarahSassy

MayMay wrote: »

Being friends with an ex...yes or no? Recently got dumped and still like the guy...haven't spoken in 2 weeks now and it's getting easier but I miss him...get back in touch or just leave it?

Leave it for now. See how you feel in 3 months.

Clare Bear

Yeah leave it for now. I know it's hard, it's been 2 weeks with no contact for me, would like to just say hello to him, see how he is but if he's not bothered to make the effort I don't see why I should...I wish him all the best though. Just sad cause I thought we could have been better friends than this you know but there's been no contact at all....oh well, if that's what he wants I'll leave it that way.

Get a new boy, it'll take your mind right off him. Maybe I'm on the rebound but better to have my attention on someone new than thinking about something that was never going to go anywhere.

Meh, ex boyfriends, ban them all to a different planet, ban them all I say!!

gcgirl

Clare Bear wrote: »

Yeah leave it for now. I know it's hard, it's been 2 weeks with no contact for me, would like to just say hello to him, see how he is but if he's not bothered to make the effort I don't see why I should...I wish him all the best though. Just sad cause I thought we could have been better friends than this you know but there's been no contact at all....oh well, if that's what he wants I'll leave it that way.

Get a new boy, it'll take your mind right off him. Maybe I'm on the rebound but better to have my attention on someone new than thinking about something that was never going to go anywhere.

Meh, ex boyfriends, ban them all to a different planet, ban them all I say!!

you got my vote there !

SarahSassy

Clare Bear wrote: »

Yeah leave it for now. I know it's hard, it's been 2 weeks with no contact for me, would like to just say hello to him, see how he is but if he's not bothered to make the effort I don't see why I should...I wish him all the best though. Just sad cause I thought we could have been better friends than this you know but there's been no contact at all....oh well, if that's what he wants I'll leave it that way.

Get a new boy, it'll take your mind right off him. Maybe I'm on the rebound but better to have my attention on someone new than thinking about something that was never going to go anywhere.

Meh, ex boyfriends, ban them all to a different planet, ban them all I say!!

Amen sister :D

Karen_*

Clare Bear wrote: »

Meh, ex boyfriends, ban them all to a different planet, ban them all I say!!

Bring back hanging I say!:D:p

SarahSassy

Karen33 wrote: »

Bring back hanging I say!:D:p

by the goolies

Clare Bear

Ha ha ha ha

Hanging by the goolies, I'm sure they still do that in some countries, let's find out where and give them an airline ticket each

azezil

*grin*

catyb20

2 years ago i broke up with a boyfriend of 4 years....

It was really hard to do, but he just got too clingy and protective, especially when i started college ( i got around 10 calls a day to see what i was at) and loads of texts.

It got to the stage that when i didnt text back after 10 mins i got a text to say i have 20e on my phone so have no excuses not to text back! :eek:

Anyway, broke up with him, and it was the hardest break up! I was on the worst guilt trip!

But what does he do?

He could'nt get mad or start crying or whatever, instead he goes and asks me to marry him!

I said no and thought nothing could be worse than that, but it turns out it got much worse, he went and bought a ring (after me saying no) and asked me again!

Cathmandooo

catyb20 wrote: »

2 years ago i broke up with a boyfriend of 4 years....

It was really hard to do, but he just got too clingy and protective, especially when i started college ( i got around 10 calls a day to see what i was at) and loads of texts.

It got to the stage that when i didnt text back after 10 mins i got a text to say i have 20e on my phone so have no excuses not to text back! :eek:

Anyway, broke up with him, and it was the hardest break up! I was on the worst guilt trip!

But what does he do?

He could'nt get mad or start crying or whatever, instead he goes and asks me to marry him!

I said no and thought nothing could be worse than that, but it turns out it got much worse, he went and bought a ring (after me saying no) and asked me again!

:eek::eek::eek: OMG! I assume he's well out of the picture now? He sounds scary!