Dumped....hugs please girls :(

Latchy

Let it go .That chapter of your life is over now clare (and marsh ).

A new one is about to begin .

bronte

Hi hun, Hope you're feelin alright..get some sleep if you can.
I know it sucks...it'll take time fre this to pass...but it will happen.
Major HUGS

Quality

How are you feeling today Clare Bear?

Has the sobs turned to WTF yet?

Clare Bear

No Quality, we said our final goodbyes today, said we'd stay friends but I doubt we'll ever meet up again to be honest unless we bump in to eachother.

He's taking it so well, out lastnight, out again tonight....I know he didn't see a future with us and he's a very positive person anyway and always looks to the future (God do I wish I was like that!!) but even if I knew he felt a little bit sad (he said he'll miss me but that's about it) it might help what I'm going through.

I'm going out tonight. It's the last thing I want to do but I'm meeting a girl from here who sent me a PM yesterday who is going through the same thing. Maybe we'll meet up and make eachother worse or maybe we'll help eachother. Then meeting a male friend of mine who has gone through something similar recently afterwards for a drink.

Either way I know I don't want to stay in alone again tonight.

It sounds dramatic but I feel like I have nothing to look forward to now, he was what got me through my week, talking to him or knowing I'd see him that weekend or whatever.

I hope it gets easier soon

Quality

Well the hardest part is over... Its not gonna be easy for the next couple of days, but you have to stay positive.

Thats great your going out tonight, Getting dressed up and going out will make you feel a lot better than staying at home in your jammies, eating and driving yourself tormented.

Make sure you go somewhere cheesy for the craic!!

Now make a plan for your week.. Start organising to meet up with friends, Buy yourself a good book(nothing too depressing), Get out for a bit of exercise in the evening time.. and if that doesnt work,,, retail therapy is fantastic.

Take care

x x x

Clare Bear

Thanks Quality, I'm going to do things next week, having a girlie Desperate Housewives night on Tuesday, I know they'll cheer me up a little at least. Going to meet up with friends and househunt, the sooner I get out of here the better (not just because of him), have an interview for a new job on Monday, if all that works out maybe the new start will be good. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself anyway.

I just want to be loved. Have never said that before in my life. But that's all I want.

Quality

Dont worry, the right one will come along....

Agent Smith

Clare Bear

Thanks

Rattlehead_ie

I just want to be loved. Have never said that before in my life. But that's all I want.

Awwwwh. Glad you decided to go out tonight. You will feel much better for it when your out after you get all done up and out on the town and will be starting to feel better tomorrow (unless you go extra happy on the beers )

jellie

Clare Bear wrote: »

I just want to be loved. Have never said that before in my life. But that's all I want.

Think thats what most of us want if we're honest..

Clare Bear

Well I'm off out now, all bloodshot eyed and hideous but I am determind not to cry tonight because this fecking eye make up took me ages! For now I'm feeling remotely human....tune in late tonight/tomorrow morning when I hate myself again...

Here's hoping I won't though.....thank you all so much for your kind messages...I'm embarrassed that I didn't go unregistered for all of this in case someone I know sees this or I meet any of ye at the Ladies Lounge Beers in a few weeks but what the hell, everyone's been here and feck anyone that laughs at me, their time will come too.

Thank you everyone, you've helped motivate me enough to get out of bed today x

Cheeky_gal

Clare Bear wrote: »

I'm embarrassed that I didn't go unregistered for all of this in case someone I know sees this or I meet any of ye at the Ladies Lounge Beers in a few weeks but what the hell, everyone's been here and feck anyone that laughs at me, their time will come too.

Fair play it took a lot of guts to go unreg but you've got the right attitude there so dont worry about it. Enjoy tonite, have fun and dont worry about a thing!

Maple

have a great night out missus, nothing to be embarrassed about at all girl. mind yourslf.

Lockstep

Clare Bear wrote: »

Don't even care about going unregistered for this at this stage.

Well ladies today I got dumped. I'm gutted, down in the dumps, lost etc....all the usual...really liked him but while he still likes me and loves being with me, he doesn't see a future with us and didn't want to string me along any longer...I admire him for that at least. It wasn't easy for him to do this.

Now I need to know where to go from here....I've been here before and it took me a stupidly long time to get over that relationship...I don't want to go there again. I know I'm going to feel like crap for a while and I know that's something that I just have to go through. But I need advice, I promised myself I would NEVER get so down in the dumps after a break up ever again. It was the worst time of my life, I don't want to go there again.

Even though it wasn't exactly a really long term thing (6 months), it has still cut me deep. Everything today has reminded me of him...songs that remind me of him keep coming on the radio, little in jokes we had keep coming in to my mind...all sorts of things.

He's out tonight with his friends and I'm staying in alone. Usually I go out with girlfriends one night of the weekend but this weekend 2 of them are away, it's one's boyfriend's birthday and the other is sick in bed with the flu so here I am on a Friday night stuck in for the first time in months. And there is literally no one to call to, bad timing for the weekend that's in it. It's going to be a long weekend. I need advice, good advice from people that have been here and words of wisdom that might help me get through it.

Like I said it wasn't a huge, long term thing but when you like someone you like them and those feelings hurt too.

Where to go from here....2 months ago I moved close to where he lives...which I'm not overly happy in anyway (housemate is never there and it's lonely, I like to be surrounded by people)...so was half thinking of moving anyway....is this a good idea to move and go to a new place, new start etc? Again?! He wants to be friends and as much as I feel sick when I think how much I'll miss his company, the thought of being friends with him and nothing more isn't an option for me....that's the hardest part, I'll miss him terribly.

I'm gutted and heartbroken....I've been here before so I know life goes on but at the same time I don't want to go down the sad, depressed route that I did the last time either.

Advice girls??

I'll give you a hug,
but I'm a guy.

But I love spreading the hugs.

Cathmandooo

ah god you poor thing! Break ups are generally horrible, big hugs for ya! Had a quick bebo stalk of you there and you're a stunner, you'll have no problem finding a man who deserves you

Enjoy yourself and dont beat yourself up if you end up in tears, it's a shock to the system and we all need a good cry! have a good night and let us know how you get on!

Karen_*

I met up with Clarebear tonight. She is a total tonic, she made me feel loads better about everything and we laughed and laughed. She's a brilliant girl, he must be off his head to let her go. Totaly his loss!

monkeyfudge

Karen33 wrote: »

I met up with Clarebear tonight. She is a total tonic, she made me feel loads better about everything and we laughed and laughed. She's a brilliant girl, he must be off his head to let her go. Totaly his loss!

Did she mention how she used to work in the zoo? That's my favourite part.

John Mason

Clare Bear wrote: »

Spankeh, it's not about letting him win or lose, he's a good guy, it'd actually be easier if he was a bastard. I wasn't very happy in the apartment as it was and was considering it anyway, not move away from Dublin but just the apartment.

move away right now, i have a room to rent, so you are sorted.

Clare Bear

First off, just home and I actually had fun?!!

Karen, you are an absolute star!! I'm sorry I couldnt stay longer but I had a laugh with you and we have looooooads in common, it's scary ha ha, you're a dote and I don't care if this is the internet and it's weird, I think I made a new friend tonight who deserves so much more than what she had...and who will be okay xxxx

Then I met up with a male friend of mine who recently split with his lady...we had fun, we danced our arses off, we drank (a lot!) and we ended up in the same club as my ex....at first I was freaked out but then met him at one stage, had a big hug and a laugh....met him again getting my coat (someone was a wee bit jealous of my hot friend by the way ) and had another hug...and it's all good....kinda looked at him and thought yeah I miss you but life goes on and if I can have a good night only a day after we part ways then I'll be okay.

Now maybe this is all the drink talking and I didn't expect to have a good night at all but I did....I can do better, I had a fun night, I made a new friend.....and most of all life goes on....

Like I said I'm still far from feeling perfect and I might be on here in the morning hating myself again but for now it was fun and I'm so glad that I didn't stay in feeling sorry for myself....

I have to say, Karen33 you are a sweetheart and you will get through it...so lovely to meet you. I hope I helped in a little way?? We're sisters


Now tune in in a few hours when Clare's sober and hates the world ha ha...seriously though, I'm still sad....but tonight was the best thing I could have done. I know in time I'll think WTF, I'm not there yet but I will be. Expected to be seriously sad and depressed tonight but I wasn't...so step one maybe?
Shutting up now before I ramble anymore!

monkeyfudge

ah... good to hear it worked out.

The large boards events are always fun for meeting new people too.

I'm sure you'll all have fun at the lounge beers when it comes up... I've met a good few of the ladies lounge regulars at this stage and they're all a good bunch.

Clare Bear

Irishbird where do you live???

And Monkeyfudge, my Zoo powers are gone, you're not getting a monkey! Sorry!

monkeyfudge

Clare Bear wrote: »

And Monkeyfudge, my Zoo powers are gone, you're not getting a monkey! Sorry!

I only wanted to meet one for a little while....

Clare Bear

monkeyfudge wrote: »

I only wanted to meet one for a little while....

Dude you missed your chance....anyway even if I was still there I'm not sure I'd have trusted you with a monkey....like no offence but you are a bit strange.....

Only joking


(I'm not really)

(Ah I am)

(Not)

monkeyfudge

ah... everyone needs a hobby or interest...

some people collect stamps, others bake cakes... I like to laugh at monkeys.

They truly are natures comedians.

Clare Bear

I knew you were only using me for my monkey connections.

Bastard!

Rattlehead_ie

Hi Clare, glad you had a goodnight, Important thting was that you were able to look at ex and think to yourself exactly what you did + always great for him to see you with the other guy Jealous much

I knew you were only using me for my monkey connections.
Bastard!

Ahhhh MonkeyFudge, will you ever learn.

SarahSassy

Kudos to you Clare having met him and kept it together. Its the best possible solution to this. Congrats I am very proud of you....


HIS LOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clare Bear

Thanks guys....I'm down this morning but I knew I would be and the hangover isn't helping obviously but it was better to go out lastnight than to stay in feeling sorry for myself. In bed now thinking I really don't want to get up but I know I have to.

I will be okay, I keep telling myself that. I'm just lonely....I know he wasn't the right guy for me, he didn't see a future so what was the point? It's a bruise to the ego, it's going to be weird being alone again and I have a lot of things that remind me of him that I need to get used to but I will. It's just going to take a while....my Prince Charming is out there I know.

Maple

hey lady, congrats on having a great night and holding it together when you met him.

i know you feel crap this morning but its only to be expected, the lows after the high. get up and do something, have a walk & nice coffee in town.

Rattlehead_ie

Clare, trust me when I say being weird bout being single is something I'm still getting used too, I was in a relationship for last 7 years, Since I was 17, I don't know how to be single I don't even know what a girl looks like

+ Its Sunday, you don't HAVE to get out of bed. I know if I wasn't in work Id still be in bed lazzzzzzzzzy Sundays are the best!

Karen_*

Clare Bear wrote: »

First off, just home and I actually had fun?!!

Karen, you are an absolute star!! I'm sorry I couldnt stay longer but I had a laugh with you and we have looooooads in common, it's scary ha ha, you're a dote and I don't care if this is the internet and it's weird, I think I made a new friend tonight who deserves so much more than what she had...and who will be okay xxxx

Then I met up with a male friend of mine who recently split with his lady...we had fun, we danced our arses off, we drank (a lot!) and we ended up in the same club as my ex....at first I was freaked out but then met him at one stage, had a big hug and a laugh....met him again getting my coat (someone was a wee bit jealous of my hot friend by the way ) and had another hug...and it's all good....kinda looked at him and thought yeah I miss you but life goes on and if I can have a good night only a day after we part ways then I'll be okay.

Now maybe this is all the drink talking and I didn't expect to have a good night at all but I did....I can do better, I had a fun night, I made a new friend.....and most of all life goes on....

Like I said I'm still far from feeling perfect and I might be on here in the morning hating myself again but for now it was fun and I'm so glad that I didn't stay in feeling sorry for myself....

I have to say, Karen33 you are a sweetheart and you will get through it...so lovely to meet you. I hope I helped in a little way?? We're sisters


Now tune in in a few hours when Clare's sober and hates the world ha ha...seriously though, I'm still sad....but tonight was the best thing I could have done. I know in time I'll think WTF, I'm not there yet but I will be. Expected to be seriously sad and depressed tonight but I wasn't...so step one maybe?
Shutting up now before I ramble anymore!

Was Michael with him? lol And who won the match?;)

I had a great night too and was brill to meet you and yeah you did help loads. I could see for myself how fantastic you are and if he's not mad about you then he needs his head tested because you're a great girl. I myself can't beleive I wactually enjoyed a night out although I cried and the beginning and at the end. Sure thats only normal I suppose. Didn't we think we'd spend the whole night in bits?

A bit hungover this morningbut I'm going to go for a nice jacuzzi and then for a ramble around Dundrum and even though I can't afford it I'm going to buy myself something nice!:D

Karen_*

Clare Bear wrote: »

Thanks guys....I'm down this morning but I knew I would be and the hangover isn't helping obviously but it was better to go out lastnight than to stay in feeling sorry for myself. In bed now thinking I really don't want to get up but I know I have to.

I will be okay, I keep telling myself that. I'm just lonely....I know he wasn't the right guy for me, he didn't see a future so what was the point? It's a bruise to the ego, it's going to be weird being alone again and I have a lot of things that remind me of him that I need to get used to but I will. It's just going to take a while....my Prince Charming is out there I know.

We're both going to be grand but w can't expect to be right now. Come over and meet me in Dundrum for some grub and retail therapy if you like:D

The best thing I did was cut the contact with him Thursday as I've felt better since. The month of us being friends nearly killed me and sure I'm not willing to let him see me meltdown even more. And since he's gone the meltdown has stopped and now there's just healthy tears. But I went out and I'm moving myself again today and there's a life without him. I know there's not nothing now for the rest of my life and there's so many things I want to do and things I need to change. I was trying to do them but finding it impossible because being around him was just reinforcing all the time that I was a useless basket case. Thats all I've been capable of for the last month. Then I was panicing because he'd nevr want me back seeing me like that. So goodbye to him and now I know that everything I do is for myself and not for him. And its easier and doable now. Probably not making much sense, I'm totally dying!!! Change no 1. give up sambucas.

Clare Bear

Any other weekend and I'd gladly stay in bed for another while and even though I've only had a few hours sleep and am wrecked I won't sleep so I need to go do something. Considering all I've eaten in the past few days is a couple of yogurts I need to go eat!

It's weird, I want to meet up with someone and just hang out for the day but not my friends?? I still can't really face the girls, just met up with one of the lads lastnight and he was just what I needed, made me laugh but talked with me about it too in a way I needed. Helps he'd been in the same situation recently himself.

Eurgh I don't know what to do with myself today.

Rattlehead_ie

I'm totally dying!!! Change no 1. give up sambucas.

Boooo your no fun

John Mason

Clare Bear wrote: »

Irishbird where do you live???
And Monkeyfudge, my Zoo powers are gone, you're not getting a monkey! Sorry!

Finglas

G86

ah god, I really hope your doing ok. I really think the friends thing really isn't a good idea. I broke up with my boyf 2mths ago and tried to stay friends but ended up having to cut all contact, it was too weird. Best thing you can do now is go out, have fun, dance your ass off, and kiss a few cuties!!!

Sparky

The Ladies Lounge! Creating good friendships since late 07

Looks good!

Latchy

Ok , this may or may not be your cup of tea but i think it's apt to go with the thread theme , this is for Sarah ,Clare and anybody else who is having to let go off a realtionship x

.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMj9IVdbKPY&feature=related

SarahSassy

Thanks Latchyco, you are an honourable 'Lady'

With the power bestowed on me by the queen of England I now pronounce you Sir Latchyco

ladybirdirl

Evening all,

Clare Bear & Marshmallow/.....how goes it today girlies...you're both doing well,give it time. ( I soundsl ike a bit of a granny do I, but I do know what I'm talking about honest!)

Ladybird

Latchy

SarahSassy wrote: »

Thanks Latchyco, you are an honourable 'Lady'

With the power bestowed on me by the queen of England I now pronounce you Sir Latchyco

Thank you sister Sarah and i am only to glad to accept Honourable lady and title of sir Latchyco .

Psst .......

As David Williams might say ' I'm a ladeeeeeeeeeeeee '

Clare Bear

Thanks guys.

Went out to Dundrum to meet Karen33 again and we had a nice little chat (or bitch ha ha).....the more I told her about the break up etc and how it was all done the more she made me realise that maybe he wasn't Mr Perfect about the whole thing as I told myself he was. Still won't badmouth him but I'm coming to terms with the fact that he wasn't "the one" and in time I will learn from all of this and won't let it happen again.

I still feel sad and crap and everything else but now it's time to go out and get a life of my own, do different things, find other things to look forward to, meet new people and I've already started so onwards and upwards.

Going looking at 2 houses tomorrow, wish me luck. One is with 4 guys...hmmmm...ha ha

Maple

Clare Bear wrote: »

Thanks guys.

Went out to Dundrum to meet Karen33 again and we had a nice little chat (or bitch ha ha).....the more I told her about the break up etc and how it was all done the more she made me realise that maybe he wasn't Mr Perfect about the whole thing as I told myself he was. Still won't badmouth him but I'm coming to terms with the fact that he wasn't "the one" and in time I will learn from all of this and won't let it happen again.

I still feel sad and crap and everything else but now it's time to go out and get a life of my own, do different things, find other things to look forward to, meet new people and I've already started so onwards and upwards.

Going looking at 2 houses tomorrow, wish me luck. One is with 4 guys...hmmmm...ha ha

best of luck chicken!! let us know how it goes.

SarahSassy

Girls can we plan to go out on a girlies night on Valentines night?????????

Karen_*

What a brill idea Sarah!

SarahSassy

She smiles as she pats herself on the back :D

Cocktails and fancy dresses????

Papillon87

I think I've just been dumped. I can't breathe.

SarahSassy

Papillon87 wrote: »

I think I've just been dumped. I can't breathe.

I hope you havent but feel free to explain if you want to....

Papillon87

SarahSassy wrote: »

I hope you havent but feel free to explain if you want to....

I will when I can stop crying. Maybe a week? He turned his phone off in a foreign country and has left me hanging for the next two days.