Do men feel remorse / regret for their actions?

SarahSassy

Hi all,

My story is above and I was wondering, from experience, do men feel bad when they treat people badly... I actually thought this guy was sensitive, caring and nice... He has his friends for years and is close to his family....

Just curious as I am hoping he feels 1/100th of what I am feeling right now.

SS

Jesus Wept

Good grief. Do women? It depends on the person.

It's not about MEN, it's not about gender. It's not about whether you have a penis or a vagina between your legs.
It's about people.

Some people are just ****, it's not gender specific.

Join a club or go travelling. (This forum should be a subforum of PI today)

Tom Dunne

The-Rigger wrote: »

Good grief.

Do women?
Start a PI or get a blog or go on Oprah, ffs.

The-Rigger, voted Mr. Sensitivity 1987.

Edit: ROFL. Having seconds thoughts?

Sarah, some men do feel remorse. It doesn't justify their actions, but the vast majority of us feel bad when we act the dick.

In this situation, however, I am not so sure I could guarantee he is feeling a hint of remorse.

Jesus Wept

tom dunne wrote: »

The-Rigger, voted Mr. Sensitivity 1987.

w00t \o/

That post was a work in progress Brother.

Rattlehead_ie

Sorry to hear that Sarah, sounds like a bit of an asshole if you ask me to be honest......... Yes we do feel remorse, regret and have a conscious about things that we do like women as well but this is not the case of Male vs Female, this is down to the individual and to be honest. Id thats the kinda guy he is, your probably better off without.

gcgirl

There are a few good guys out there ! Its just that we have not met them yet! My ex is a compleat wanker! we have 3 kids and he was and stil is a non hands on dad! a compleat deadbeat dad whose parents thinks he is a scumbag, missed his sons first birthday to go play golf and then theres the hospital visits i could write a book on him!

SarahSassy

The-Rigger wrote: »

(This forum should be a subforum of PI today)

Well women are well known for talking about personal issues and thats why I posted here. You tend to get proper advice here without the sensationalising that goes on in the PI forum.

I guess what I was actually asking if men are better able to compartmentalise their guilt... I know if I did that to him it would be eating me up..

Rigger, dont bother replying if you are only going to sneer. We can go to oprah alright and why dont you P O to PI where you are better suited.

Right now I am not worried about finding a man or if there are good ones out there. I want this out of my system first.

Saruman

Men in general are much better at dealing with emotions, well actually that depends too... Women explode with emotions in general, Men keep them to themselves or consult a best mate.
So in general, men are less likely to let guilt rule them. They will feel it but it will not consume them and they can push it away.

Jesus Wept

SarahSassy wrote: »

Well women are well known for talking about personal issues and thats why I posted here. You tend to get proper advice here without the sensationalising that goes on in the PI forum.

I guess what I was actually asking if men are better able to compartmentalise their guilt... I know if I did that to him it would be eating me up..

Rigger, dont bother replying if you are only going to sneer. We can go to oprah alright and why dont you P O to PI where you are better suited.

Right now I am not worried about finding a man or if there are good ones out there. I want this out of my system first.

I wasn't sneering at you, your original thread title was a poor choice, IMO. It's still fairly crap because as I said, it depends on the person/individual.

Some PEOPLE feel remorse/regret, and some people do not. Some of these people are male and some are female.

I'm not your ex, so don't take out your frustrations on me.
I you really.

SarahSassy

The-Rigger wrote: »

I'm not your ex, so don't take out your frustrations on me.

Oh I am not.... I posted here because up to now the replies to all other posts have been decent and not sneery.... I was hoping for more of the same.

Jesus Wept

SarahSassy wrote: »

Oh I am not.... I posted here because up to now the replies to all other posts have been decent and not sneery.... I was hoping for more of the same.

I'm not sneering. Your ex sounds like a d1ckhead.

Now have some love:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4MNCkErQVw

Latchy

SarahSassy wrote: »

Well women are well known for talking about personal issues and thats why I posted here. You tend to get proper advice here without the sensationalising that goes on in the PI forum.

I guess what I was actually asking if men are better able to compartmentalise their guilt... I know if I did that to him it would be eating me up..

QUOTE]

Hi Sarah ,i can only speak from my own expierences but i know looking back at various times in my life regards 'wimmin' i know i could have being more caring ,sensitive and considerate when dealing with members of oppisite sex regards relationship or friendship .This is just from your average guy who has also expierenced the pain and hurt of failed relationships .My attidtude was very much out of 'sight out of my mind 'without a second thought for how that person might feel but i put it down to my own imaturity at the time and not understanding or seeing the bigger picture .I still to to this day have pangs of guilt thinking about some events becuse the girls in question were nice people .But also looking at how some of my peers behaved towards girls i think i wasn't the worst .Some wimmin are attracted to complete bastards .I knew lots of guys like that and couldent figure out why they wimmin would come back for more

best wishs

monkeyfudge

SarahSassy wrote: »

I actually thought this guy was sensitive, caring and nice...

Unfortunately this can also equate to being spineless. He seemed unable to find the resolve within himself stand up and tell you. Which is really rather sad.

As for me... I don't know if I've ever really done anything terribly bad in a relationship. But I certainly regret not doing enough to try and make things work better.

Latchy

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Unfortunately this can also equate to being spineless. He seemed unable to find the resolve within himself stand up and tell you. Which is really rather sad.

As for me... I don't know if I've ever really done anything terribly bad in a relationship. But I certainly regret not doing enough to try and make things work better.

Thats what i wished i had done .Some people fit into relationships like a hand in a glove.With me when i couldent sustain a friendship due to shyness and akwardness on my behalf i would squirm out cuz i was so used to doing my own thing when i wished ie, as in liking my own company as much as others .But that was then and only now do i realise how selfish i was at times .I wished i could have had the wisdom to try make things better to . Having real friends male and female and a healthy relationsship is a blessing .

monkeyfudge

Yep. It's very easy to slip into a mindset of taking a person for granted.

But you live and learn... and can hope to apply yourself better next time around.

Pj!

I myself have lots of guilt about aspects of relationships with the wimmins.
Men do feel remorse and regret. But men in general keep all that bottled up. Girls will go talk to friends, get advice, etc but if most guys ask each other whats wrong they will either say 'nothing' or maybe say 'pissed off' and leave it at that.
We do have sleepless nights over girls, we may shed tears (obviously I wouldnt though, far too manly ) but no-one will ever know about it.

Rozabeez

And give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt you? Screw that, cut him out and find a real man! /huggles

monkeyfudge

The situation in the opening post is familiar to me though.

I got chatting to a German girl one day who got involved with an Irish guy online. But she went as far as coming all the way over to Ireland before finding out that he had broken all contact with her. She even went up to the address she had and there was no answer at the door.

Seems to be a pitfall of online relationships. Thankfully any online romances I've ever had have never gone that way.

King of Kings

felt bad - sometimes.
regret - no.

but i've never pulled a stunt like that.
i'm generally honest - and sometimes appear mean for being so.

Although I'll say this - as women get older (as I am getting older) they do appreciate honesty a lot more and are less prone to the hysterics, upon the relevation of this honesty, of there younger brethren. (sorry all that is qualified by IMO )

Quality

What is the story with all the men in the ladies lounge today?


Sassy, He is a prick for leading you on, He should have been honest with you from the start.....

I dont think we should generalise on "all men" being unremorseful.

I am sure he does feel some shame in treating you like this. Sounds like your better off with out him..

Maple

to answser your thread. yes tehy do. they're not all unfeeling robots.

your ex was a muppet, a horrible spineless muppet and as bad as you feel now you're so much better off without him. what if something important happened in your life? like you were sick or someone died and he showed his true cowardly colours then? count yourself lucky missus. he's a fool.

Mizz Piggy

Whats the problem wit men like him, cant they just be upfront, men treatin women like that is crap (we're not all angels but I'm always honest), nothin worse than a coward for a man. Ur so much better off without him. By the sounds of some of the replys men seem to think they can just walk all over us and get away wit it, we've all met some asshole like him at some stage.

Good luck

Latchy

Some men from birth seem to be programmed to see wimmin as sexual objects and for child rearing purposes.This was the stereotypical image of male irishmen until recent times and that is not to say there arent loads of em out there still ,there are as the forum will testify to but the guy who takes part in flirting or sexual innundeo on here may not nessacaraly be like that in the company of wimmin in public .Some men never mature regardless of what age they are in their views of wimmin specialy if they have being brought up in a strong male dominated family but yet as i already mentioned these are the guys loads of wimmin fall for time and time again.

monkeyfudge

Dear lord the word 'wimmin' is horrific... do people actually use it?

Latchy

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Dear lord the word 'wimmin' is horrific... do people actually use it?

As it's (dublin slang ) used quite a lot in the BARG thread the answer is yes

milli

latchyco wrote: »

As it's (dublin slang ) used quite a lot in the BARG thread the answer is yes

Can we please ban it from The Ladies Lounge? Please? Mods?!

Noc81

Sarah I wouldnt' give him the satisfaction of letting him know how much he hurt you. Realisically he probably won't care too much as he sounds like an ahole & you would probably get even more hurt.
Easier said than done but try to forget him & don't waste your time on people who are not willing to waste their time on you

Tom Dunne

milli wrote: »

Can we please ban it from The Ladies Lounge? Please? Mods?!

Used in proper context where no offence is intended, such as BGRH, it is actually quite witty.

Used in warm, fluffy situations such as the Ladies Lounge, it is quite patronising.

Ban it, I say.

monkeyfudge

oh right.. I always thought it was supposed to be a hardcore feminist term used to say women with having the word 'man' in it.

Etymology is a harsh mistress...

Latchy

Ban it i say ....

Wibbs

Shítty thing to do alright. TBH I reckon he's thick and weak minded more than insensitive. If he was insensitive he would be fully aware of what was what and told you regardless. As it is I reckon he got his lines crossed(thick) and then when he thought about it, didn't have the balls to tell you earlier and hoped it would go away(weak minded).

In my experience, there exists a too large proportion of men that are emotionally dimwitted, needy, weak, ill defined, boorish idiots, that are a pain to have to deal with and often need a firm hand to direct them. Just as there exists an equally large proportion of women that are emotionally crippled, needy, weak little children, with little integrity, that need to be treated as such to have any chance of a quiet life(in fact they respond well to being treated that way). With age this tapers off in both genders, or they get better at hiding it at least.

I will say and it's against my own gender there are an awful lot of weak men out there IMHO. Either overly emo or overly macho, or just plain thick. Neither good, especially in the wrong context. They get angry when they shouldn't and don't stand up for themselves when they should. This is doubly true in their dealings with the women in their lives.