Homes Urgently Needed

Whispered

Ruimar, I may seem harsh but you must understand my position. Her reasons for rehoming are not good ones. It is reasons like hers that have dogs who are "much loved family pets" PTS. As for effort put in? She indicated that these dogs will be PTS if not rehomed. That is not effort IMO. It is not the first time these dogs have been dumped and you must understand that as fosterers we feel like failures when we give dogs to obviously unsuitable homes.
She took them from a rescue, do you have any idea how much love is put into dogs before they go onto the (supposed) forever home? As a fosterer, I trust the people I pass the dogs onto, so it's not just letting the dogs down, it's letting down all the people who worked to keep these dogs, and others like them, alive. It's not an easy thing to do. Your heart breaks everyday. Something like this is devestating. Out of interest Ruimar, do you know her reason. I do.

bernard0368

I think this has got out of hand, Finkwad has come looking for help as she said herself it is distressful and hard for her to give up the dogs. Helena her reasons may not be good enough for you or others but they are obviously more than enough for finkwad and her family. As a foster carer you above anyone should know that dogs do take up a lot of time and care. People circumstances change. Help her if you can but dont berate her, she could have easily went to the vet and had the animals PTS no one would have been the wiser. I have two rescue dogs and I have had to put in a huge effort in building up their confidence and thrust in people. The shelter I got them from explained the problems with both dogs from the start. I knew I could deal with them. That doesnt mean three years down the line things won't change.

ruimar

I do appreciate what you are saying and I have the utmost respect for anyone who fosters dogs but we must respect the decision of finkwad. I only know what im reading, reasonwise, but I can repspect what finkwad is saying. If finwad didnt care, im sure the dogs would be PTS already. It would be easy to saying nothing but the fact that finkwad has come online to ask for help shows that finwad wants the dogs to live. Im sure the emotions you are describing are ones which finwad is experiencing. There's no need to rub it in, if you know what I mean. If anyone can help, then lets help these dogs.

Whispered

I can help, and am helping, despite the fact I should be working at the moment I am trying to get these dogs on the website (will be up later and I will be sure to post the link, they really are beautiful). I may seem harsh and I understand circumstances can change but in this case not too much has changed as far as I can see except for the amount of time she wants to put into her dogs. This is something she should have thought about before getting the pups, the saying "a dog is not just for christmas" comes to mind. The novelty wears off, people get tired of the responsibility and the dogs are moved on. Moved to be fostered by people who have full time jobs yet still give their time to look after dogs which they are not responsible for.

However I do understand that a personal attack on finkwad is not warrented or appropiate.

I was wrong in saying 3 years, it's two years or just over.

finkwad

Thanks rumar and Bernard!
I didn't want to post my reasons here because I was afraid the issue would bcome fraught with these emotional arguments/discussions.
I do appreciate any help I get in rehoming the dogs, from anyone. The reason I came on here is because the last thing that I want to have to do is get the dogs pts, that is why Helena I said I was hoping they would have a 'long' life somewhere else.
I'm not getting rid of the dogs because I don't like them, it is breaking my heart to have to do it, but I think that my reasons are good enough for me.

I think I'll leave boards.ie alone now and just get on with finding a home for my dogs.

Thank you everyone

Whispered

http://dogsindistress.org/rehoming

Here is the link for these two babies.

ruimar

I really hope in the future that nothing ever effects your ability to look after your dogs, becuase if it does, i hope you get a big sense of karma coming back to bite you in the ass for berating other people. I must admint, i did find your comments very patronising towards finkwad. I do pity finkwad if she has to meet you, if you are able to find homes for the dogs ;P Hell hath no fury.......

Whispered

I will not give her reasons here as I she obviously does not want me to however if you follow the link it gives her excuse.... sorry reason for "having" to rehome these dogs. And it is certainly not a reason I would use. Nor would any responsible dog owner.

I dont have a dog of my own ruimar. I do have dogs in my house, but they are not mine, they are abandoned or dumped dogs who were days away from being pts. It will take a while for them to be ready for their new homes. They need certain health checks, socialisation etc. All of which costs. Then they will be rehomed to "responsible" owners (well thats what usually happens.)

Finkwad, your number was posted on the adoption page, so you might get some phonecalls. I doubt these dogs will stay for long, they are just too beautiful.

ruimar

Helena, i just had a look. Lovely dogs alright! Im sure they will get new home very quickly. I have to say, as a mother myself, that finkwads reason is quite valid. There may be additional reasons that we dont know about. Life doesnt deal everyone a good hand. Hopefully all will work out ok!

Whispered

Yes I hope so too. Poor things. Really beautiful dogs. As far as I am aware (correct me if I'm wrong) finkwad was a mother before adopting these two.

bernard0368

I have to agree a baby is a huge thing. I know my Sister wont cross the door of our house with her baby if the dogs are there. They just sit and stare at our other friends baby with bemusment. They are also very protective of my other niece she is the only other person outside the immediate family they will allow walk them. In saying that we dont know how lively or territorial these dogs are FinKwad may well be justified in looking for them to be rehomed. Helena while I appreciate you are going out of your way to get these dogs rehomed do you not think the wording on the DID website is a little harsh/ emontional??

ruimar

kids of different ages require different amount of care are you a mother?

Whispered

No, I'm not a mother. I don't think I ever will be TBH, however I would still take that into consideration if ever getting a "forever" dog. If I was to change my mind, could I cope?

Bernard, I didn't put it up on DID, the lady who fostered them did. She is very upset and I dont blame her. If it is emotive language which is needed to get these dogs rehomed, then I honestly dont see the problem.

Are there lies there, or is it just the truth not packaged nicely enough?

Please while there have a look at all the work which is put into homing initially. This is the second time it has to be done for these ones. You may begin to understand my anger and upset.

ruimar

If you knew what time went in to brining up a child you would be better able to understand why finkwads reasons are valid! Its like saying my husband knows what its like to have a baby, does he? I think NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

Whispered

I completly agree Ruimar, I really cannot understand. But my point is that she was a mother when getting the dogs so should have been well aware of the time needed to have a new child and should have considered that before getting the dogs.

Her reasons may be valid now. My anger is over the fact she didn't think of this before hand.

ruimar

hindsight is a wonderful thing! if only we knew

ruimar

helena, i sent you a pm , would you have a look and see if you can help?

AckwelFoley

I learned a great lesson today.


If i have any dog trouble in the future, dont post it here on boards. Be prepared to be slated, judged and somewhat abused, if you do - from "people" with a self awarded higher moral values.

Mistakes happen

Circumstances Change.

Pheonix Ski

I had to learn the hard way aswell about posting on here,everyone makes out as tho they want to help but in reality all they do is demoralise you about your decisions in your life... Let this be a leason for other people,if seeking advice seek else were

*waits for the abuse*

Pheonix Ski

Also helen please take a look at this..... (in the rules for posting thread written by mod helleazer)

2.No more personal attacks on other posters.If someone has a problem and comes here looking for advice,no matter how bad the problem is or how bad the original posters mistake is or was I do not want any more attacks or confrontational comments against the original poster.

Killme00

Helena didnt attack anyone. In fact she is helping, she is helping to save the dogs lives and also helping the OP's conscience. Getting rid of dogs that have been a part of your life for several years is a big decision. I think it is ok to question that decision. Espeicially if there is an ultimatum, find a home or PTS. If you (OP) truelly are in pieces at making this decision then PTS would not be an option. You would simply wait to find a more suitable home (okay time is pressing in that the Op is pregnant but there is still a window of time here and again PTS should not be an option).

Let me say it one more time, fair play to you Helena for the great job you are doing (ie whatever you can), its a pity the OP and several posters cannot see that or do the same.

Tom

ruimar

tom , knowbody is saying helena is a bad person. what people are saying is that circumstances change and people come here for help, not to be berated. I had a pm from finkwad and she explained to me that putting the dogs to sleep is not an option, i believe her.

Whispered

I did not personally attack finkwad, and in fact i agreed that I do not understand fully, not being a mother. I have stated and will state again that I am extremly angry over the fact that somebody that I care about was given personal assurances by that woman that these dogs would be cared for. You have to fill in forms to adopt dogs, you should ask yourself these questions when considering a dog!!

I agree circumstances change, a while back we had a large collie who had to be given up as her owner had a stroke and could no longer walk, that is a unforseen circumstance. A woman who is starting a family life MUST take into consideration the fact that at some stage she might get pregnant.

Perhaps she has to give them up now, perhaps she cannot cope with a baby and a dog ( ) but she should have thought of that.

Ruimar, I also got a PM from Finkwad, saying she doesn;t want to have to have them PTS. But if she cant have them rehomed there might not be another option. Thats slightly different from saying it's not an option?

finkwad

Wow Helena, I just saw the ad that was posted on your website! I have to say that I am absolutely shocked and disgusted in the way I have been treated by you - I have contacted the website and asked for the ad to be removed immediately.
I came on the board actively looking for a home for two dogs who deserve better than they are getting at the minute.
I openly said that I didn't want to share my reasons publicly, in order to avoid the vicious arguments that can occur on this site.
I readily gave you my honest reasons when you approached me privately, and was willing to do as much as I could to make the transition into their new home as easy and smooth as possible for the dogs.
But you had to go and publicly slate me, not only here but also on another website!
I can't express how upset and angry I am at you for doing this. You may congratulate yourself for your humane actions towards dogs, but man you are one cold bitch when it comes your fellow humans.
I wish you well.

ruimar

I dont know who died and gave you the right to judge people. I honestly dont think you are being helpful. You may be trying to help the dogs, but you are doing it the wrong way. I feel a more caring approach towards the owner would be more suitable. If I was in finkwads shoes I would be very reluctant to deal with you on a personal level. Maybe you have issues and are uncomfotable dealing with people, dogs dont talk back. Think about it.

Whispered

Well done Finkwad first namecall of the conversation.

People, you are half reading things. I DID NOT POST THAT. The lady who posted that is the woman who rescued those dogs and loved them for the first few weeks of their lives. She is angry and understandably so. There is not a lie on that website, just the truth put in a truthful way instead of being dressed up nicely to make the OP look good.

Pheonix Ski

Ohmy :O Shocking

finkwad

Helena, you may not have personally posted that ad, but you were the intermediary between myself and the website. You should have enough maturity to treat me in the same way that everyone who approaches the website looking for new homes is treated...you obviously fired up the poster's emotions enough for her to post so bitter an ad.

I think you, and her, should have enough experience to realise that life is not straightforward and that we all have our own **** to deal with. And even if the way I choose to deal with it is different from yours it certainly doesn't mean I am wrong.

And for everyone else out there, I would like to state categorically that pts is not and never has been an option. I will continue leaving myself open to this type of abuse as I try to find a good home for my dogs.

Also, if there is a moderator reading this...maybe now is the time to allow Helena to have her last say(I've just had mine) and then close down this thread?

Whispered

Ok thats fair enough Finkwad,

I gave her your details, dog description and reason for having to rehome. I did not need to say anything else to get her annoyed, she was upset enough knowing that she made a mistake with where she rehomed the dogs and has made her question (and made me question) the other dogs we have given to "good homes". We do check but can only do so much.

I would recommend leaving the post on the DID website as in fairness there are no lies there and it will help rehome them.

I apologise if I upset anybody, there was no PERSONAL offence intended, however I do still maintain that there was obviously not a lot of thought put into getting the dogs in the first place.

themadchef

I have just read this thread from start to fnish and here is my 2 cents.

Firstly Finkwad i understand that when you first got the dogs that you did it fully with the intention of giving them a home for life. Your circumstances are chaniging, and its not my place to judge you or your situation. If i were to voice my opinion it would not be one you would care for.

The fact that you didn't just dump them like so many do i give you credit for and applaude the fact that after you made the decision to get shut of the poor things you are at least trying to do it the decent way.

I understand where Helena is coming from. It's difficult for someone in her position not to get emotionally involved as she provides loving homes for so many animals. It's also difficult for her IMO to fully understand how someone could just give away part of the family...as thats what they are, not a bike or a car or a chair. Part of your family.

I'm not judging anyone here and i dont see a problem with the wording used on the DID website. The truth can some times seem harsh.

I can see both sides, i feel truly sorry for the two dogs and hope they can stay together.