FLAT PACK FURNITURE.. and all that mallarkey!

brousuka

Let me please inform you that Dunnes Stores bar/breakfast counter stools that you buy in a flat pack box are the most annoying, frustrating,mother "@!king things to put together on this God given earth!! I have just taken 6 hrs to put 3 stools together and I am am ready to go to my local casualty dept. to get my hands treated from that c**ting allen key thing. Better value my ar#e. FLAT PACK SHI*TE JUST DOESNT WORK

artanevilla

I enjoy making it, makes me feel manly.

seamus

Never use the tools that you get with flat pack stuff. Use your own tools.

Boggles

brousuka wrote: »

Let me please inform you that Dunnes Stores bar/breakfast counter stools that you buy in a flat pack box are the most annoying, frustrating,mother "@!king things to put together on this God given earth!! I have just taken 6 hrs to put 3 stools together and I am am ready to go to my local casualty dept. to get my hands treated from that c**ting allen key thing. Better value my ar#e. FLAT PACK SHI*TE JUST DOESNT WORK

You need Tommy Walshe!!

Boggles

Legend!

brousuka

I know what you mean like, but there is a limit, all this sh*te comes from the far east and there is always the one screw or nut that won't fit properly and it is just so irritating. I am fairly handy but i think this stuff is better left to nerds who don't care about real fashion and just want to do it on the cheap. BTW it always falls apart in the end!

brousuka

artanevilla wrote: »

I enjoy making it, makes me feel manly.

At one stage, while sweat was dripping of me, i used a pliers to tighten a certain nut and the pliers slipped off and i pinched the skin on my right thumb which is now f**king killing me, I never realised how important your thumb is. There is now a kind of purple bulge on my thumb which is damn fu**ing sore.

mikedragon32

brousuka wrote: »

I am fairly handy but i think this stuff is better left to nerds who don't care about real fashion and just want to do it on the cheap. BTW it always falls apart in the end!

Interesting self analysis. Well done you!

Gordon

brousuka wrote: »

I know what you mean like, but there is a limit, all this sh*te comes from the far east

..flatpacked in frankincense and bubblewrapped in myrrh.

Sonnenblumen

The manufacturers should include First Aid kits for the FP Novices?

Don't worry you'll live.:p

brousuka

mikedragon32 wrote: »

Interesting self analysis. Well done you!

Oh Sh*t, forgot to mention, I just moved house and the kitchen area has a lovely island sink/worktop and a good friend bought these breakfast stools for me. It makes it even worse because i had to put them together to make everyone happy!

Blush_01

I like flatpack stuff. Putting it together is fun. Especially when you read the instructions, have a race with your brother, and put your bookshelves together in half the time, without them falling apart when the final screw is tightened.

ejmaztec

There's no job satisfaction unless you've lost a couple of pints of blood. It somehow makes it all worthwhile.

miju

brousuka wrote: »

At one stage, while sweat was dripping of me, i used a pliers to tighten a certain nut and the pliers slipped off and i pinched the skin on my right thumb which is now f**king killing me, I never realised how important your thumb is. There is now a kind of purple bulge on my thumb which is damn fu**ing sore.

suck it up it's all part of being manly :p:p:p

brousuka

ejmaztec wrote: »

There's no job satisfaction unless you've lost a couple of pints of blood. It somehow makes it all worthwhile.

yeah but this thumb thing is worse 'cos i play golf and my grip is f**ked for at least 2 weeks!!!!

WhiteWashMan

Now youre just being weird

Ruu_Old

I nearly lost a leg trying to put together my computer desk.

I remember putting my computer desk together. Took forever and it never did come out right, but I'm still immensly proud of it. My flaat packed shelves have only fallen apart once so far, so I'm quite happy with them.

brousuka

Deleted User wrote: »

I remember putting my computer desk together. Took forever and it never did come out right, but I'm still immensly proud of it. My flaat packed shelves have only fallen apart once so far, so I'm quite happy with them.

Lets make a special "Flat Pack Memory Day" every year on this date and burn all the sh**te like bonfire night!

brousuka

brousuka wrote: »

Lets make a special "Flat Pack Memory Day" every year on this date and burn all the sh**te like bonfire night!

I'm liable to attack it where it stands and given my shoddy DIY skills it's guaranteed to break before my might. I'd quite happily burn ever bit of flat pack in existence but then where would my PC sit?

On one of those fancy antique mahogany tables??? Come to think of it, throw in a shelf of dusty classic literature, a fine bottle of scotch, an open fire and a pipe and I've got myself a real mans room.

brousuka

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm liable to attack it where it stands and given my shoddy DIY skills it's guaranteed to break before my might. I'd quite happily burn ever bit of flat pack in existence but then where would my PC sit?

On one of those fancy antique mahogany tables??? Come to think of it, throw in a shelf of dusty classic literature, a fine bottle of scotch, an open fire and a pipe and I've got myself a real mans room.

Now ya said it! can't beat the real McCoy!! Allen keys were never used in building Adare Manor!

FunkZ

I would have put them together for fifty quid a pop man...

SimpleSam06

Death to flat packs.

FunkZ

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

Death to flat packs.

"Down with this sort of thing!"

biko

Should have gone to IKEA

cance

brousuka wrote: »

Now ya said it! can't beat the real McCoy!! Allen keys were never used in building Adare Manor!

i think its just safe to say you fail at DIY.

Terry

brousuka wrote: »

At one stage, while sweat was dripping of me, i used a pliers to tighten a certain nut and the pliers slipped off and i pinched the skin on my right thumb which is now f**king killing me, I never realised how important your thumb is. There is now a kind of purple bulge on my thumb which is damn fu**ing sore.

There's someone who's never done a hard days work in his life.
Just stick a pin in it and let the blood drain out. You'll be fine.

ejmaztec wrote: »

There's no job satisfaction unless you've lost a couple of pints of blood. It somehow makes it all worthwhile.

I never feel satisfied with a days work unless I cut myself accidentally at least once.

FunkZ wrote: »

I would have put them together for fifty quid a pop man...

I'm really thinking of putting up a notice in my local supermarket to that effect.

My cousin buys this crap all the time.
40 year old single woman with a 14 year old son and more money than sense = ring Terry and get him to do it.

Varkov

Yeah, my little sister put together a load of flat pack furniture the other day simply 'cause she was bored.

Suck it up ya wimmen.

Terry

Terry wrote: »

My cousin buys this crap all the time.
40 year old single woman with a 14 year old son and more money than sense = ring Terry and get him to do it.

That's just like my family, only replace furniture with computers. I faked a learning disability for years in a bid to avoid being my families tech guy. Worked wonders for nearly a decade.

Terry

Deleted User wrote: »

That's just like my family, only replace furniture with computers. I faked a learning disability for years in a bid to avoid being my families tech guy. Worked wonders for nearly a decade.

Don't get me started on computers.

Listen, you little bastards. Stop clicking on those stupid ads for mobile ring tones and you will stop getting pop-ups on your ****ing computer.

"Hey, Terry. I downloaded this song. It's called dancemusic.exe. Now my computer won't work properly. What did I do wrong?"

Varkov

Terry wrote: »

"Hey, Terry. I downloaded this song. It's called dancemusic.exe. Now my computer won't work properly. What did I do wrong?"

thisisnotamaliciousprogram.mp3.........exe

ScumLord

God yer useless, flat packs are easy. I enjoy putting them together brings me back to me youth getting technic lego or model planes for Christmas. Until they made me give up making model planes cause I got addicted to making (the glue) them.

Terry

Terry wrote: »

Don't get me started on computers.

Listen, you little bastards. Stop clicking on those stupid ads for mobile ring tones and you will stop getting pop-ups on your ****ing computer.

"Hey, Terry. I downloaded this song. It's called dancemusic.exe. Now my computer won't work properly. What did I do wrong?"

I know what you mean, peoples greed and stupidity is enough to push one over the edge.

"It said I was the one millionth visitor and after I clicked to get my prize my computer stopped working properly." or "I was only downloading porn, you can't a virus doing that. Everyone does it and they don't get them."

Wacker

I bought a flat-pack TV table off Argos a few years ago, and had my brother not been visiting I think it is safe to saythat I literally would never have been able to assemble the feckin' thing. He pretty much did it for me. He's the technical one. In college he did engineering. I did philosophy and politics.

It's a slick table though, even if it no longer has a TV on it, since I upgraded to a projector.

paulksnn

Deleted User wrote: »

I know what you mean, peoples greed and stupidity is enough to push one over the edge.

"It said I was the one millionth visitor and after I clicked to get my prize my computer stopped working properly." or "I was only downloading porn, you can't a virus doing that. Everyone does it and they don't get them."

What's worse, wife's cousins tried to download free anti-virus stuff, which informed them they had 8,000 or so viruses and needed to pay for the fancy version which would fix it all.

As for flat packs - suck it up men. Follow the instructions, but use a bit of common sense.
As for your own tools, best investment I ever made was an allen key bit for my cordless drill.
3 minutes of twisting turns into 10 seconds of pressing a button.

Sleepy

Can't build a flat pack?

Off to the Ladies' Lounge wit ye.

Only think more fun than flatpack is building the stuff from scratch.

John Mason

phew - you know nothing nothing of pain, 6 hours is nothing

my shed came as a flat pack. 3,500 pieces, it took me 6 weeks to put together. i still have a bag of about hundred pieces, that i couldnt figure out where they went but i has been standing for the last year and a half. i am imensely proud of it.

bloody, sweat and tears went in to that thing

Popinjay

Pft! It's not called 'flat pack'. It's called Man Lego!

Flat pack can be fun!!! Put together a bunk bed a few years ago, look twice as long to do than expecterd because they forgot to drill out the holes in one of the posts :mad:
It mas manufactured by a company called THUKA (very appropiate name:) )

Cuddlesworth

To fail at assembling flatpack you need

-blond hair
-a complete inability to follow simple instructions
-the patience of a boards.ie moderator


And a gun to remove yourself from the genepool to save future generations.

foxy06

I am the flat pack queen! Long story but moved house 3 times in a year so had to build and dismantle a set of bunk beds 3 times and then when we got new carpet I had to dismantle them again because we couldn't get them out of them room.... could do it with my eyes closed now! Then bought a table and six chairs a few months ago and I had 5 chairs done and my dad had only managed one!!!

In saying that though my pc desk is getting wobbly but its 3 years old and was 60 euro in argos so what do you expect!

Forgot to add, I built a flat-pack house once.
Here is a photo of some of the panels. http://dolanbaker.info/SelfbuildDiaryphotos/cuttingpanels.html

Capt'n Midnight

seamus wrote: »

Never use the tools that you get with flat pack stuff. Use your own tools.

And throw away the glue too. Get some proper waterproof wood glue and a paint brush to put it on and the 'ol damp cloth to remove the excess. Real furniture is held together with glue. The screws and nails are just there to keep it under tension till the glue dries.

low density chipboard :rolleyes:

^^^ You're right there Capt'n, I made many a wobbly unit before I learned that!!

Faith

krazy_8s wrote: »

To fail at assembling flatpack you need

-blond hair
-a complete inability to follow simple instructions
-the patience of a boards.ie moderator


And a gun to remove yourself from the genepool to save future generations.

I have blonde hair, am a boards.ie moderator... Oh, and I'm female! Yet I kick ass at flat-pack . I made my whole flat* from Ikea flatpack in a day.

*Excluding the big parts like walls and floors .

ScumLord

Faith wrote: »

I have blonde hair, am a boards.ie moderator... Oh, and I'm female! Yet I kick ass at flat-pack . I made my whole flat* from Ikea flatpack in a day.

*Excluding the big parts like walls and floors .

Even the TV and fridge??

Cuddlesworth

Faith wrote: »

I have blonde hair, am a boards.ie moderator... Oh, and I'm female! Yet I kick ass at flat-pack . I made my whole flat* from Ikea flatpack in a day.

*Excluding the big parts like walls and floors .

Do the curtains match the drawers?