Taking the name

Tar.Aldarion · 11-01-2008 3:10pm

You could do it officially in the office but have a big to-do beforehandor after.

Pigletlover · 11-01-2008 4:03pm

I'm surprised at the number of people saying they would change take their husband's name for the sake of their kids with school and everything. I was given my mother's surname when I was born and she later went on to marry and change her name, and us having different names never caused any problems. I had the choice of the double barrell thing or to change it completely but I didn't want that. My brother and I even have different surnames and no one thinks anything of it, if anyone does ever ask I just explain that I have my mother's maiden name and he has her marriage name.

I honestly don't know what I would do if I got married. On one hand I think it would be nice to take my husband's name if I ever get married, while on the other side I think that I'd like to keep my own, I've had it this long and I'm kind of attached to it, plus it's a bit unusual.

RSHC · 11-01-2008 6:36pm

The spanish automatically use a double barrelled surname..... the dads surname (called the apellido) followed by the mums surname..... although i just use the first surname (dads) for simplicity most the time....

11-01-2008 6:43pm

Quality wrote: »

Hi just want to know how many of the girls here will take their husbands name when they get married.

Any comments welcome....

Will take? When I get married? Did someone decide for me? :0

IF I ever get married, I doubt I would take but we'll see.

Tar.Aldarion · 11-01-2008 6:58pm

Sorry, this thread is for people who are definitely getting married, no "if" folks in here please.

11-01-2008 7:16pm

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Sorry, this thread is for people who are definitely getting married, no "if" folks in here please.

aw tarry ;(
are you going to take your husbands name?

Tar.Aldarion · 11-01-2008 7:19pm

Yes, I am. Hopefully he will have the same surname as me; Siemens.

Pythia · 12-01-2008 8:27pm

No

Yep, planning on taking husband's name when I get married. Don't like my own very much anyway.

Piste · 12-01-2008 9:12pm

Double Barrell

When I was born the person rgistering my name wouldn't let my mum put me down with a double-barrelled name, it was one name only, my mother was NOT happy about this, so I went with my dad's name th whole way through primary school. Aty the start of secondary school I started going by my mum and dad's name, and got it changed by deed poll a few years later (well my mum did it for me

) She goes by her own name and I suppose by having her name and my dad's it's more like I'm belonging to both of them rasthe than just the one, that fact that they were unmarried when I was born may have also had something to do with it.

I'm not sure what I'll do about kids if I get married, I'll be keeping my own name fo sho, I'm quite attatched to it and after years of being called by one name I'd be a bit weirded out being known by another. If I have kids I suppose I'd like them to take one of my parent's names (flip a coin between mother or father!) and then one of their dad's names, I don't see anything remotely pretentious about a double-barrelled name.

Kinetic^ · 13-01-2008 3:41am

21 negatives.........21 out of the running, sorry girls.

SW81 · 13-01-2008 4:38pm

Double Barrell

depends on the name too though, i'd hate to have a horrible surname that i didn't like. think i'd stick to my own either way anyway though.

Nevyn · 13-01-2008 4:43pm

Actually in Ireland either spouse can change so he can/could legally take your surname.

SW81 · 13-01-2008 5:40pm

Double Barrell

I'd say most people do still take the name though do they? anyone I know that got married in the last couple of years has anyway I think.

kitt13 · 13-01-2008 8:27pm

Not a hope. What do you do when you get divorced?

kizzyr · 14-01-2008 12:00pm

I'd keep my own surname simply because its mine, its what I've been called forever and see no reason why I should change it. If it bothered my OH (though doubt it would) I would as a compromise move to double barrell but that would be it. I would also continue to go by as Ms. X rather than Mrs. X. Kids (though I doubt we'll be having any) would on paper have double barrell but most probably use their father's surname.

Femelade · 14-01-2008 1:15pm

This is something i have been thinking about quite a bit recently.
i am a single mother , my daughter is 6 and she has both my name and her fathers on her birth cert, but i usually just use my surname for her, like for school, and the dr and stuff. I knew i would never marry her father thats why i insisted on both names going on the birth cert. I am now with my partner and we have talked about marriage. I would love to take his surname, but then my daugters would be different than mine, plus any other kids we may have. If i dont take his name, would we give our kids his name or my name...either way some one in the family will have a different surname to the rest...

Cathmandooo · 14-01-2008 1:29pm

No

Femmy wrote: »

This is something i have been thinking about quite a bit recently.
i am a single mother , my daughter is 6 and she has both my name and her fathers on her birth cert, but i usually just use my surname for her, like for school, and the dr and stuff. I knew i would never marry her father thats why i insisted on both names going on the birth cert. I am now with my partner and we have talked about marriage. I would love to take his surname, but then my daugters would be different than mine, plus any other kids we may have. If i dont take his name, would we give our kids his name or my name...either way some one in the family will have a different surname to the rest...

You could always change her name too. My aunt did that, she had a daughter from a previous marriage and now has 2 sons with her current hubby and they all have the same name now. The daughter was about 11 when mammy remarried. Your daughter's 6 now so maybe you wouldnt be getting married for a year or two? How about when the time comes you tell her that you'd like to take your new hubbys name and ask her would she like to take it too! That way the whole family would have the same name. I'm not too sure if that means that the new hubby would have to adopt your daughter, I don't know those sort of details, just basing it on my aunt and cousin. Cousin still sees her biological father too.

Femelade · 14-01-2008 3:34pm

Cathooo wrote: »

You could always change her name too. My aunt did that, she had a daughter from a previous marriage and now has 2 sons with her current hubby and they all have the same name now. The daughter was about 11 when mammy remarried. Your daughter's 6 now so maybe you wouldnt be getting married for a year or two? How about when the time comes you tell her that you'd like to take your new hubbys name and ask her would she like to take it too! That way the whole family would have the same name. I'm not too sure if that means that the new hubby would have to adopt your daughter, I don't know those sort of details, just basing it on my aunt and cousin. Cousin still sees her biological father too.

oh cool,
i wasnt aware that i could change her surname, (maybe we would have to go down the adoption route - which isnt something that would fly easily with ehr father) of course it would be up to her at the end of the day. My partner would love her to take his name, but her father would probably have a few things to say about it. i think i would leave the decision to her anway, she would probably be 9 or 10 when we marry.

Femelade · 14-01-2008 4:21pm

Just found this from http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/problems-in-marriages-and-relationships/changing_your_name_by_deed_poll

Changing the surname of a childThe surname of a child can be changed in the Register of Births but only in certain circumstances. However, the surname of a child can also be changed by deed poll or common usage

misswex · 14-01-2008 6:07pm

No

I will be taking the OH surname when we get married, the only place I probably won't be changing it is in work but everything else will change. I want us to be recognised as a unit and for us all to have the same name if we ever had children. I don't see it as taking away my identity as I am who I am, surname change doesnt' affect that in the slightest.

bartholomewbinn · 14-01-2008 6:12pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'd keep mine and the children get mine.

Thats if you could find a husband that would be agreeable to that, very few would IMO.

mollybird · 22-01-2008 1:57pm

No

yes i'll def take his name but the guy im currently seeing and who i do believe will be the one for me his surname is italian and my first name is irish and all my kids will have irish names. going to sound very wierd

Featherl · 25-01-2008 1:35pm

No

Yes I would definetly take husbands name

Popsicle · 25-01-2008 4:10pm

Double Barrell

I will definitely be keeping my own name. I have nothing against his, but mine is who I am, simple as that!
We have also agreed that any future kids (hopefully) will take my name as I am the only one of my siblings able to have kids (hopefully) and continue on that side of my family! This was actually his suggestion!

Iago · 25-01-2008 4:14pm

I wonder is there a correlation between the age of the posters and whether they answer yes or not. My feeling is that those that say no would predominantly be in the 25-26 or under category, at which point everything is black and white as opposed to shades of grey.

Iago · 25-01-2008 4:16pm

Cathooo wrote: »

You could always change her name too. My aunt did that, she had a daughter from a previous marriage and now has 2 sons with her current hubby and they all have the same name now. The daughter was about 11 when mammy remarried. Your daughter's 6 now so maybe you wouldnt be getting married for a year or two? How about when the time comes you tell her that you'd like to take your new hubbys name and ask her would she like to take it too! That way the whole family would have the same name. I'm not too sure if that means that the new hubby would have to adopt your daughter, I don't know those sort of details, just basing it on my aunt and cousin. Cousin still sees her biological father too.

to the best of my knowledge it would require adoption by the new spouse, which would need to be agreed by the biological father if he's on the birth cert.

Popsicle · 25-01-2008 4:16pm

Double Barrell

I'm here to disprove your theory! I'm over 30! (He's clinging by a cobweb to his 30's!!!)

Black Swan · 26-01-2008 10:16pm

Something to talk over candle light?

kizzyr · 27-01-2008 12:53pm

Popsicle wrote: »

I'm here to disprove your theory! I'm over 30! (He's clinging by a cobweb to his 30's!!!)

Me too, I'm 30 (and so is he). I think its become very fashionable lately to change your name when you get married. I have to say that I really don't understand why someone would. There is a girl at work getting married soon and on foot of this thread I asked her was she going to change her name. She looked so surprised at me for asking (btw she is 35 or so) and said "of course thats what marriage is all about isn't it?". Is it? I really don't think it is.

Dudess · 27-01-2008 5:55pm

What a bint.

Pigman II wrote: »

I was hoping the naysayer's to this question would cite women’s independence, social equality or the antiquated nature of marriage (among others) as potential reasons for your reticence.

But no the popular answer is "ugh, it doesn't go with my forename" like it was some sort of fashion accessory?

Spas the lot of ye concerned. Ya might as get back in the kitchen and wait for your perfect man “Mr. Bint” to appear in your life. I strongly encourage you to take his name btw.

(Oh and as an addition, all of the above applies also to anyone who said they would take the name because it would be an improvement on their own name. You're just as bad, if not worse.)

*swoons* You're my hero... Come back to AH, Pigman. All is forgiven (seriously though, don't).

bluewolf wrote: »

Will take? When I get married? Did someone decide for me?

Heh, well said, bluewolf!

If I marry, I might use my husband's surname for some stuff if it makes things easier, but otherwise I'll stick to my own as much as possible.

Taking the name

Comments