How to give it up?

Peig Sayers

I drink too much. Almost every night. Never drunk or hungover or needing to miss work but still drink more than I should. I don't crave it but it makes me feel
comfortable. I put it down to being bored! I'm weak willed so going cold turkey won't work. Anyone ever tried alternative methods? Don't want hypnotherapy as I feel I would fight it. Anyone tried acupuncture or anything else?

unreggd

first off, lovin the name!

Have u tried goin cold turkey? I was the same with sweets, i always ate too many, and when i was off them it was mad how much i used to think about it

gettin the shoppin, grab a snickers

passin the pound shop, get a bag o jellies

stayin in watchin a DVD tonight, grab a bag o munchies

it was crazy, and hard, but i got over it


You said you dont crave it so it shouldnt be too hard. And you want to quit, that should be motivation enough

You're the one in control. your the one who will open the can/bottle, pour the glass, lift it to your mouth and drink it


Where do ye drink? Just sittin at home???

NonDrinkersClub

I know you said you didn't think hypnotherapy would work, but I found it very beneficial in helping me beat my extreme needle phobia (words can't explain how bad the phobia was)...you just have to make sure the hypnotist is good. I can give you the name of this guy in Dublin who you could talk to. Just PM me if you want his number!

Even if you don't cut out the drink altogether, maybe just cut down? In your head, you can limit the number you're going to have in a night. If you go over that limit, don't just stop trying, just try again the next time. If you do stick to your limit, that's great! Maybe try lowering the limit over time...even write it down on a piece of paper, but give yourself a reasonable amount of time to cut down...maybe over three months.

Try having a water between drinks! If anyone asks, just say it's a great hangover cure...even if that's not why you're doing it.

Peig Sayers

Peig Sayers wrote: »

I drink too much. Almost every night. Never drunk or hungover or needing to miss work but still drink more than I should. I don't crave it but it makes me feel
comfortable. I put it down to being bored! I'm weak willed so going cold turkey won't work. Anyone ever tried alternative methods? Don't want hypnotherapy as I feel I would fight it. Anyone tried acupuncture or anything else?

Hi there,
I was in the same position as yourself until the New Year & I decided to give a go at staying off it for 6 months. I loved a few pints with the lads and normally always needed it to be socialable with people I didn't know... I must say its going well and the fresh feeling I've been having is well worth it. I have a load of incentives to stay off it. The biggest being a combined bet with the lads of €500+ that I can do it(**** keep buying me pints when im out and I'll just them to **** off ! ). Second, I really needed a break from it health/ fitness wise. So I've been going to the gym loads & trying to play football at every opportunity. Im not fat or anything I've just put on more weight then I ever have before. Thirdly, even though I am not that religious at all my granmother told me I should take a pledge with a priest. So I went down to the local church and pledged not to do it for 6 months(It gives you a kind of creepy incentive to stay away from it).

You need to just get your mind off it and every time you want to go for a few just say no to yourself. I am doing it for 6 months so I will have more respect for it when I do start drinking again.

Your post seems like a semi-serious outcry (I know because I used to do it all the time). So you need to get serious about this and give it a long break. Anyway, best of luck.

Kag

luckylucky

I'm toying with the idea of giving up the booze. I'm about to hit my 37th birthday and I know I can't continue nor do I want to continue at the same level of boozing that I have been doing for most of my adult life.

I'm undecided whether to give up totally or try to cut back, I'll be honest though I have big doubts whether I can restrict myself to modest drinking of say 2 glasses of wine in a night. If I could restrict myself I wouldn't give up but have a feeling it's all or nothing with me.

I really don't want to wake up anymore feeling absolutely crap, the whole day being more or less a wipe-out and would like to get into shape again also.

I think it will be difficult for me to give up. I live in rural Portugal and we have a small network of ex-pat friends here, mostly British, Dutch and a few Portuguese too. Every single one of them enjoy a drink, a lot of our whole social life revolves around drink. Giving up drink I think would radically alter my social life. I don't think I'd want to socialise as much tbh for one thing, this doesn't hugely bother me, but my wife enjoys socialising and it would look odd if I left her going out meeting up with friends most of the time.

I guess what Im looking for here is advice/thoughts from people who have been or who are in a similar situation.

Thanks,
LL

luckylucky

Was my OP badly worded or is the lack of response an indication of the scarcity of non drinkers in Ireland

estebancambias

I really don't know. I think once you decide you want to give up its just a natural progression.

Hermy

Hi luckylucky,
Tomorrow I will be two weeks without a drink or a cigarette - hooray for me. It hasn't been easy but I'm so much better off without the booze. My reasoning is similar to yours - sick of being constantly hungover and I know moderation doesn't work for me, otherwise there wouldn't be a problem. Life changes when you stop drinking - for one thing you get your life back - so it becomes easier to do all the things one should have been doing instead of wasting time in the pub or sleeping late cause of yet another hangover. Today the sun is shining in a cloudless sky in Dublin so I went for a walk which is something I haven't done for too long. I have a smile on my face and I'm looking forward to buying a new guitar with the money I have saved. Don't get me wrong - I'd murder a pint right now but I have always found stopping [drinking] a lot harder than staying stopped. So long as I focus on the good that I can achieve sober which just isn't possible while on the beer, than I can keep going.
Not sure if the above is of any use to you and if anyone accuses me of self-praise then I'm guilty as charged. Two weeks may not seem that much but after ten years of beer, beer and more beer I'm feeling proud of myself.:p

luckylucky

Hermy wrote: »

Hi luckylucky,
Tomorrow I will be two weeks without a drink or a cigarette - hooray for me. It hasn't been easy but I'm so much better off without the booze. My reasoning is similar to yours - sick of being constantly hungover and I know moderation doesn't work for me, otherwise there wouldn't be a problem. Life changes when you stop drinking - for one thing you get your life back - so it becomes easier to do all the things one should have been doing instead of wasting time in the pub or sleeping late cause of yet another hangover. Today the sun is shining in a cloudless sky in Dublin so I went for a walk which is something I haven't done for too long. I have a smile on my face and I'm looking forward to buying a new guitar with the money I have saved. Don't get me wrong - I'd murder a pint right now but I have always found stopping [drinking] a lot harder than staying stopped. So long as I focus on the good that I can achieve sober which just isn't possible while on the beer, than I can keep going.
Not sure if the above is of any use to you and if anyone accuses me of self-praise then I'm guilty as charged. Two weeks may not seem that much but after ten years of beer, beer and more beer I'm feeling proud of myself.:p

cheers for the reply, yes it is helpful to me of course. At the very least at least it leaves me feel I'm not alone.

Anyways fair play to yeah. tbh I don't know how you manage to give both fags and booze up at the same time. I stopped smoking 5 years ago after many previous failed attempts, it was difficult at 1st, at this stage I very very rarely fancy one. But to give up both at same time, I don't think I could have done that.

You know when it comes to alcohol I think Mohammed had it right. Not his exact words but I think he said something like alcohol had its benefits but the negatives far outruled the positives. Soz to any Muslims if I got that one wrong.

btw I'm writing this post semi-pissed, hmm not good is it

Meself

why don't you try and give it up for lent.. im going to give it a go. sick of waking up with a hangover on a saturday and, as you say, the whole day is a write off. I will do it and see how i feel after lent finishes. The only day i really drink is a friday after work and that can go on until 1am!! hence the saturday write off

good luck whatever you decide to do

luckylucky

Meself wrote: »

why don't you try and give it up for lent.. im going to give it a go. sick of waking up with a hangover on a saturday and, as you say, the whole day is a write off. I will do it and see how i feel after lent finishes. The only day i really drink is a friday after work and that can go on until 1am!! hence the saturday write off

good luck whatever you decide to do

ta, my birthday is in a weeks time. when that is done. i'll go off it for the remainder of Feb and see how I get on.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Don't even entertain the idea of cutting down to 2 glasses of wine a night. Once you have 2, you're tipsy enough to think 3 is ok, after 3 you're drunk enoguh to think 4 is fine. And so on.

What I'm doing is cutting down to drinking twice a month. I was previously drinking 2-3 times a week. I quit my old habit 4th of Jan & went drinking with work night before last.

I've toned up noticeably already(also cut out sugar & don't smoke when I'm not drinking) & the lack of hangovers is good. Also found when I did drink it was a lot more fun not having drank in a while.

Could you go out & have a coffee while your wife & family are drinking? Or drink something that looks like alcohol?

luckylucky

Since I spotted this forum and made a few posts about it, the more I think about it the more I'm sure I'm addicted to alcohol. An alcoholic if you will, though I think that's an unfortunate term that gives rise to an image of an abusive husband or bum on a street corner.

Anyway I'm kinda isolated over here and don't think I'd want to join AA or anything like that anyway.

Is there any good books, websites etc to help me kick this habit. I've managed to kick smoking in the past, so I'm sure I can do it, but it scares the hell out of me too tbh as it's not just an addiction that I would have to give up but a way of life.

Also maybe there should be an alcohol(ic) forum here as perhaps the non drinkers group is just meant to be for non drinkers who socialise etc, but seemed to be the only sensible place to post about this on boards.

NonDrinkersClub

There are ideas for alternative activities on our website www.nondrinkergroup.com I know you can't join in on planned events, but there are some good suggestions there! I wish there was more I could do to help you out.

luckylucky

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Don't even entertain the idea of cutting down to 2 glasses of wine a night. Once you have 2, you're tipsy enough to think 3 is ok, after 3 you're drunk enoguh to think 4 is fine. And so on.

What I'm doing is cutting down to drinking twice a month. I was previously drinking 2-3 times a week. I quit my old habit 4th of Jan & went drinking with work night before last.

I've toned up noticeably already(also cut out sugar & don't smoke when I'm not drinking) & the lack of hangovers is good. Also found when I did drink it was a lot more fun not having drank in a while.

Could you go out & have a coffee while your wife & family are drinking? Or drink something that looks like alcohol?

NonDrinkersClub wrote: »

There are ideas for alternative activities on our website www.nondrinkergroup.com I know you can't join in on planned events, but there are some good suggestions there! I wish there was more I could do to help you out.

Cheers for the advice. Much appreciated.

tofueater

Hi Peig Sayers!

I think it would be benifical to try a treatment of acupuncture. Acupuncture done on the ear (auricular acupuncture) is used in easing the withdrawal symptoms of all kinds of drugs as well as alcohol. Its a very relaxing experiance and it would probably be a helpful to talk to someone on a one to one, in a confidential setting.

Best of luck with it!

Bod1

Allan Carrs book on Alcohol is a great place to start. As long as you think you are giving something up or depriving yourself of alcohol, you'll crave it. Alcohol is a poison, in reality doesn't taste great, (look at all the practice it took to say it tastes great) and causes more negative effects than positive.

I gave up 5 months ago after over a decade of drinking Dublin dry. I "was" a functioning alcoholic, and Carrs book made so much sense, it made my decision easy. Don't miss or crave a drink at all, even at very boozy social occasions.

Give it a go, for 6 quid it might just be what your looking for.

ricey

I gave up drin about 6months ago but had a slip the last few weeks and now
im one day sober again and to make it one billion times worse im going through
withdrawls from heroin!! Not a nice feeling trust me. Im just on my laptop because
im so supped up on tablets.

My advice on giving up drink is go to a gp
and tell him/her ur problmes and the get
to AA trust me its the only thing that works.
I slipped because i stoped going to the meetings.

I dont understand WHY someone has not advised him
to go to AA already!!

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie Go there and find a meeting its a
life saver.

ricey

anyone that has drink problems plz got to AA try it out
for a few weeks it really works and the help and suporrt
is something you will find no place else.

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/opencontent/default.asp

Find a meting in ur area i promise u if u got problems
its the right choice

cue

luckylucky wrote: »

my wife enjoys socialising and it would look odd if I left her going out meeting up with friends most of the time.

Ask your wife about that.

NonDrinkersClub

Alcoholics Anonymous is a good place for alcoholics to get help, but it's not a universal solution, especially for those of us who have never experienced alcoholism.

Drinking is a social activity for most people. The best way to change the social scene for all of us, drinkers & non drinkers, is to create a new non-drinking alternative to the pub culture that suits us better.

It's easy...we can do it by people for people! We are all involved, whether participating or organising or just being there to support each other cos isn't it good to know you're not the only one?

I love reading all of the posts here and I believe it has really made me feel a lot better about the fact that I don't drink. Keep on posting! Make yourself heard and spread the word!

NonDrinkersClub

Heroin? Yikes. That's a whole different ball game! I wish you the best of luck with your detox and I'm glad you've found the help you need with the AA. This forum is more to do with finding alternatives to the drinking social scene but if it helps anyone experiencing problems to do with alcohol then that's a good thing. It's not the main idea of the forum though.

great unwashed

Bod1 wrote: »

Allan Carrs book on Alcohol is a great place to start. As long as you think you are giving something up or depriving yourself of alcohol, you'll crave it. Alcohol is a poison, in reality doesn't taste great, (look at all the practice it took to say it tastes great) and causes more negative effects than positive.

I gave up 5 months ago after over a decade of drinking Dublin dry. I "was" a functioning alcoholic, and Carrs book made so much sense, it made my decision easy. Don't miss or crave a drink at all, even at very boozy social occasions.

Give it a go, for 6 quid it might just be what your looking for.

I haven't drunk in around a year and a half now and was at it regularly at the time and found I was losing control of it and didn't know when to stop. I believe I had a bad habit of it - I was drinking a lot because I was bored at times. I read the book on AA - it's a fairly famous book or should be but I didn't feel I needed to go to AA though I did once. I'd have little problem going back to AA if I felt I couldn't resist alcohol which I gave up and bought my first car as an excuse for telling people in the pub that 'I can't drink, I'm driving' (other people accepting your non-drinking can be sometimes more troublesome than just giving up). I also took up art more seriously and got myself a job I really wanted, despite the money being less or the job insecurity so it was a big change for me.

The first few months were nightmarish - I couldn't really sleep properly and I don't rightly know if it was the lack of alcohol or not. I feel brilliant now though.

The reason I quote our friend above is that shortly before I stopped drinking I had read the Allen Carr's book on stopping smoking. While off the drink the ideas in it were really helpful for giving up drink!! (so I'd recommend Allen Carr). Still off both though I regard smoking as a lot less damaging to a person's life now even though I thought the entire opposite before I gave up the booze.

Good luck.

LaVidaLoca

If you're just one of those people, like myself, who dont have any problems really, were'nt abused as a kid or gone through some horrible trauma, just one of those ordinary Irish folk who drink too much, cause they grew up doing so and never really learned any other way of relaxing.

If you have serious psychological issues, his book wont do much for you though.

As I would see it, he basically puts it down to: "Alcohol does not fill a hole in your life, it creates one."

The whole book is basically just trying to get you to understand that. I wouldnt worry about hypnotherapy or any of that. From the amount of drinking you're talking about, withdrawal will be comparatively mild - i.e one or two nights of slightly ratty sleep is about all.

Just stop drinking altogether. Dont try and cut down.

Cutting down on booze is like trying to give up ****, but continuing to look at porn. Its harder than quitting altogether.

SUNGOD

" i'll stop tommorrow " by paul campell ,the allen carr book on stopping drinking, tom sykes "about last night, a drunkards tale", "a million little pieces" by james frey, "peice of cake" by cupcake brown,"no deals" by jackie burke "the alcohol and addiction cure" by chris prentiss,


books i would recommend firstly to educate yourself about addiction and possibly some self diagnosis as the only person who can honestly tell you if you have a problem is yourself,best of luck

the first and last book offer advice on stopping/counselling where as the middle books are real life stories of addiction and triumph over adversity very uplifting and powerful stuff . AA might not be for everyone but education and knowledge deffinately should be

the AA big book and any AA literature are essential reading also

Dave!

I hope ye don't mind but I merged the 2 threads about advice on giving up. Hopefully it won't mess up the conversation flow

Quattroste

To the original OP (I think with the merged threads and all).

Remove the boredom. Get something to fill the nights. Play an instrument, do a night class in wood turning or something, join a Gym. If you can substitute good things for the drink nights then it won't be as hard. Still hard but not as hard. Don't give up, if you fail try again. Good Luck.