Mental Block

LegacyUser

Hi, I'm 19 years old from Limerick and I go to UL, but I am having much difficulty lately, actually for the past 5 years with Anxiety. It's dictating my lifestyle at the moment and I can't seem to break that feeling.

For example, because I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder ( I know this because my GP at home told me ), I tend to adopt avoidance behaviours. The consequence of this is that nobody in my class speaks to me and I haven't any friends, I only know them by name and general typical morning chat, but either they are avoiding me or I'm avoiding them or both?

I am too afraid to talk to people and I have this constant fear of being judged or being in positions where I will be embarrassed. If I am in this type of situation, my mind goes into overload and tries to conjure up ways in which the experience can go wrong and how I can prevent this or alleviate it if it occurs.

I also have this unnatural fear of walking. I fear that I may be laughed or mocked at, and I hate all those people having the opportunity to look at me, it's truly an awful experience I have to endure everyday. I was bullied in secondary school for it's entirety which may have contributed to it and I have bad memories which regularly come back to haunt me.

People in my class seem to be avoiding me and I have an immense sense of paranoia around them and this constant sense of fear can be sensed by them, I know that much. Although however much I try to counteract this feeling, I can't overcome it, I won't come across naturally to them and thus they won't want to speak with them.

I am also a very negative person with a very negative outlook on life even though there are some postitives in my life at the moment. I have been going to counselling for the past year but I don't feel any benefits and if anything, my feelings have been getting worse as of late. The doctor said to continue counselling which I will and said that if things don't seem to be improving that I should go on medications.

I have two qualms about this though, one is that they will have awful side-effects which I will struggle to tolerate and the second is that he said I could be on them for life. Everything I wrote above may seem bad but the actual feelings I go through cannot be put into words and I believe that no matter how much I try to overcome this by talking to people, and no matter how much medication I take, I have this fear that it will never go away and that this feeling of isolation I experience everyday ( because I live away from home ) will never go away.

I really really don't know what to do anymore. Suicidal thoughts have often entered my mind but I quickly shuddered them off, I fear a time may come which won't let me shudder them off. Have you got any advice for me on what I can do, please?

tbh

Have you discussed how you think the councilling is going with the councillor?

KyussBishop

Have you tried a psychologist who practices Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_Behavioural_Therapy

I believe that is the preferred treatment for Social Anxiety, but you need to work and keep at it before you will receive any benefits.
In the long term, that is the thing which is most likely to help you; my personal view of medication is that it is best viewed as a helpful short-term aid, but in the long term it wont get to the core of your problems (hence you may come to depend upon it).

Your GP should be able to refer you to a qualified psychologist who knows CBT. If you use Google, you should also be able to find many useful sources of information about Social Anxiety.

BanzaiBk

I would definitly reccommend discussing this with your counsellor. If the sessions aren't working for you than it is perfectly OK for you to go to a different counsellor. I have been in a similar (albeit less severe) situation with social anxiety and paranoia after an illness and changed my first counsellor because I felt that I was not getting any better. I presume that UL have a welfare department or even a student union welfare rep who might be able to offer you advice in this regard and you could probably email them etc. Even your GP at home or uni. GP might be able to guide you in the right direction.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

The Doctor told me about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy but oddly I found, was that he said the ordinary councillor is doing that at the moment by talking me through things? I thought only a psychologist could only do this. It is also my belief that councillors are normally the people for short term problems i.e A death in the family, losing a close friend with short term depression etc. I didn't think they could resolve a person like me who has been suffering for the last 5 years and getting worse?

I have told her a few weeks ago that I didn't find it particularly useful and she basically fobbed it off and basically told me to continue doing it and I will see results in a few years or whatever? Also weirdly, I asked her to contact the psychologist in the building and he said that he could do nothing for me and I should just continue with the sessions? WTF?? Do they realize how bad I'm feeling right now? And they claim everythings going to be ok and all that crap.

???

tbh

tough time, mate. I think it could be one of two things: either they are underestimating how difficult you are finding everything, or you are overestimating how bad things are (I know it's all relative), and the profs have seen people like you before and know that what you are going through is normal. I wouldn't have a clue which one it is tho, it's equally as plausible that it could be either. Would it be worth your while seeing a different doctor? At least if you get the same opinion twice, it might help you. Post away here as much as you want, obviously you're not the only person going through this, so you may get strength from others.

KyussBishop

I don't know whether or not CBT is practiced by counselors, but if you can afford it, it might be better to look into a qualified psychologist who works privately.

There is also the self-help route too, I'd recommend the book "Overcoming Social Anxiety" by Gillian Butler, and the Dr. Richards audiobook course, also named "Overcoming Social Anxiety", is good too (usually you have to pay for the latter, but it is 'available' online too); they both specifically deal with CBT.


Finding a good psychologist is still preferable, but you should look into those books anyway, as they teach you a great deal about CBT.