Your own blonde moment..

Basq

For the un-omnipotent (yes.. i meant the sexual disorder) among us, ever say something really stupid completely unaware of the stupidity of the comment? Basically, a blonde moment!

For me, I was looking at a pack of chocolate bars (Breakaway bars, if you must know) in Dunnes at the weekend. And there was 9 bars in the pack. And stated there was 50% free.

To which I thought: 9 / 2 = 4 and a half.

And mentioned to my girlfriend: how exactly do they give you that half a bar free? She stood there in silence and reminded me that it was originally 6 bars and the 50% extra free made it 9. Then, the mathematician inside me took over:

6 / 2 = 3

Original 6 + 3 Extra = 9 BARS! ** ding ding ding **

Needless to say.. I'm currently working through my 5 times tables to ensure such a difficulty with other Maths problems doesn't happen again. Next are fractions and "magic squares".

Anyways.. any blonde moments you care to share?

PS - this is not a thread for the blondes on Boards.ie to come out in force with their "not all blondes are dumb". That's neither here nor there... though ye're not exactly the smartest of the species!

Genghiz Cohen

"Yar!! *Points at car* There be some form of land boat, with circles for wheels!"

Jesus Wept

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

"Yar!! *Points at car* There be some form of land boat, with circles for wheels!"

[SIZE=-1]Avast, ye be a scurvy-ridden [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]malingering[/SIZE][SIZE=-1] landlubber![/SIZE]

Cheeky_gal

basquille wrote: »

For me, I was looking at a pack of chocolate bars (Breakaway bars, if you must know) in Dunnes at the weekend. And there was 9 bars in the pack. And stated there was 50% free.

To which I thought: 9 / 2 = 4 and a half.

And mentioned to my girlfriend: how exactly do they give you that half a bar free? She stood there in silence and reminded me that it was originally 6 bars and the 50% extra free made it 9. Then, the mathematician inside me took over:

6 / 2 = 3

Original 6 + 3 Extra = 9 BARS! ** ding ding ding **

No joke but I seriousy don't get that! Maybe it's the way you told it! You're use of the english language is DESPERATE!

Care to explain in simpler terms?

Sam Vimes

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

No joke but I seriousy don't get that! Maybe it's the way you told it! You're use of the english language is DESPERATE!

Care to explain in simpler terms?

50% of 6=3

50% extra free in a 6 pack= 6+ (50% of 6)= 6 + 3 = 9

also, if you're going to say that his use of the language is desperate, then you should correct the spelling of seriously and use "Your" instead of "You're"

unless I'm missing the deliberate irony....

Ghost Train

Duh, you should have opened the packet and taken the 3 free bars.

Tellox

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

You're use of the english language is DESPERATE!

You are use of the english language is desperate!

Anyway, biggest blonde moment I had is confusing limerick for kilkenny (dont ask how).. so I got a tad confused driving out of cork, and saw a signpost for the road to limerick, and off I went, assuming it wouldnt add too long onto my trip to Waterford.. About 45mins later, having drove at 100km/h on the dual carriageway in the pissing rain (motorbike), I decided to pull in and ask for directions.

Cue driving another 2 and a half hours in the pissing rain to get back home.

Basq

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

No joke but I seriousy don't get that! Maybe it's the way you told it! You're use of the english language is DESPERATE!

Care to explain in simpler terms?

Quiet down blonde!

rain on

Dyed my hair blonde. First thing I did was walk into a shop and knock over a display of cakes. "This is not going to go well," I said to myself.

Lockstep

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

No joke but I seriousy don't get that! Maybe it's the way you told it! You're use of the english language is DESPERATE!

Care to explain in simpler terms?

He explained it in very understandable terms.
At least to me who lived in a non-anglophone country.

My blonde moment:
I always walk into lamposts.
I hate the things.

An ocetegenarian once mistook me for bookshop staff and asked me to help her choose her husband a present. I absentmindedly reccomended a Viz swearing dictionary (Profanisaurus) I was snapped out of my reverie when my friend said "Cian, why the hell did you do that.

*New addition* Just deleted every single song, photo and video from my mp3 player.Dammit!

Susannahmia

Last year I got confused about the times for my college exams and I ended up missing one! I still kick myself every time I think about it and will never live it down.:o

L1011

kickoutthejams wrote: »

At least to me who lived in a non-anglophone country.

(SNIP)

"Cian,

Either I'm having my own blonde moment here, or how does someone who lives in a non anglophone country get an entirely Irish name (as this as an anglophone country...)

kirving

In Galway(Im from Dublin) with 2 of my friends, and I look at a D reg car and genuinley ask, "Where's "D" from, is it Derry!?"

EamonnKeane

people's republic of connemara ?

Skellington

eolhc wrote: »

Duh, you should have opened the packet and taken the 3 free bars.

Security staff at Dunnes frown upon this:(.

My biggest blonde moment that I can remember anyway happened as I was cycling home one day and saw a brick on the road up ahead. I thought to myself about how painful it'd be to hit it and fall at the speed I was going. Next thing I knew I was on the ground with the bike wrapped around me and in a lot of pain. When a guy came over to help me up, all I could say was "did I fall?"

kev_s88

for me it was watching my first NFL match.

ME:how long is a match?

Friend: its 15 minutes a quarter

ME:how many quarters is there?

took me a long, long time to live that one down.

Cathmandooo

I was in Belguim on a long holiday and got out my aquafresh pump toothpaste. Toothpaste wasn't really coming out and I say to my friend:

'Maybe the pump doesnt work in these countries' :rolleyes:

Lux23

When I occasionally bump into mannequins in shops I normally apologise to them thinking they are real people.

Sometimes when I open a yoghurt I throw the tub in the bin instead of the lid and stand there wondering what went wrong.

Once while watching the news I commented to my brother who was nine at the time and had more sense then me, 'Why has David Blunkett always got that dog with him?'. It never occurred to me that he was blind.

And my hair is actually dyed blonde not real at all.

godtabh

I was at a firends wedding recently.

Being the getlemen at the table and trying to get stuck into a lady at my table (my gf now) I offered to pour her a glass of wine.

I tired to pour some wine and nothing came out and I couldnt figure it out to the laughter of ever one at the table. Turns out the cap was on. Wouldnt mind but that was the first of many times that happened that night.

togster

Not mine but a friend... anyway

My sister and him were over in sweden with me and it was -2 or something and she asked if its below zero why aren't the puddles frozen to which he replied its probably used to the cold :eek:

DinosaursAttack

hay guyz whats going on in this thread, i don't understand? herf durf

Pherekydes

kev_s88 wrote: »

for me it was watching my first NFL match.

ME:how long is a match?

Friend: its 15 minutes a quarter

ME:how many quarters is there?

took me a long, long time to live that one down.

Hey, can we copy this over to the American Football forum?

Pherekydes

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Care to explain in simpler terms?

I don't think that could be managed to your satisfaction. :rolleyes:

Lockstep

MYOB wrote: »

Either I'm having my own blonde moment here, or how does someone who lives in a non anglophone country get an entirely Irish name (as this as an anglophone country...)

I am indeed Irish but was educated in foreign countrys.

Basically I learnt English in foreign schools (and therefore was schooled in a more rigid way than the dialect most people know)

Despite this, I was still able to understand the OP and would have been less likely than Cheeky-Gal (Who I assume is Irish and grew up here) to be able to skirt around any grammar problems.

kev_s88

Slow coach wrote: »

Hey, can we copy this over to the American Football forum?

if you really want to yeah.bear in mind that quote was made about 4 years ago and i am now well up to scratch on my American Rugby Rules

Pherekydes

kev_s88 wrote: »

...up to scratch on my American Rugby Rules

Only kidding. But this one is definitely going in. You will be hung, drawn and quartered for that (sacked too).

kev_s88

Slow coach wrote: »

Only kidding. But this one is definitely going in. You will be hung, drawn and quartered for that (sacked too).

terrible attempt at humour there Slow Coach.so terrible it actually made me laugh

r3nu4l

I have been known to pour myself a glass of milk in the mornings and then pour orange juice onto my porridge. The worst thing is when you don't notice anything wrong until your third mouthful of orange-porridge...

Genghiz Cohen

r3nu4l wrote: »

I have been known to pour myself a glass of milk in the mornings and then pour orange juice onto my porridge. The worst thing is when you don't notice anything wrong until your third mouthful of orange-porridge...

Awesome....

L1011

kickoutthejams wrote: »

I am indeed Irish but was educated in foreign countrys.

Right, so did you have as many people mangle our shared first name as I got in school in Manchester?

rain on

I've been known to tear the top off a packet of sugar and then tip it into the bin instead of into my coffee. And then look blankly at the sugar and wonder what went wrong.
One time that I particularly kicked myself over, I needed to unlock the back door, but you couldn't lock/unlock it from the inside, so I went down the hall, out the front door, went all the way around the house and unlocked the back door, and then instead of simply opening the door and stepping straight into the room i wanted to be in, walked all the way back round the house, in the front door and down the hall into the room that the back door opened off. Jesus like.

Dunno if it counts as a blonde moment, but me and my boyfriend were down visiting my parents in Cork a few weeks ago, and he was trying to ring his ma in Dublin off the landline, and he couldn't figure out why it wasn't working until my ma dialled the number for him.. turned out he'd never made a phonecall from outside Dublin before and didn't know you had to put in an 01. Happy days..

Pherekydes

r3nu4l wrote: »

I have been known to pour myself a glass of milk in the mornings and then pour orange juice onto my porridge. The worst thing is when you don't notice anything wrong until your third mouthful of orange-porridge...

I've done that with Bran Flakes.

Worst thing of that nature: While I was cleaning the kitchen I was putting food waste into milk cartons and taking two solpadiene soluble for a headache at the same time. Not a good idea. I put one of the tabs into a carton full of sh!te! I quickly realised my mistake and fished it out. Then I rinsed it under the cold tap. :eek: Definitely not a good idea. Finally I put the frothing mass into the proper glass. (Licked me fingers, too)

r3nu4l

That reminds me of the time I put a disprin tablet into my mouth and tried to wash it down with water as if it were a nurofen.

It started dissolving in my mouth so rather than have the froth spilling out my mouth as if I was rabid, I tried to swallow it all and nearly choked.

Never again.

Clseeper

My Mam once lost the keys to her car for about 2 weeks. Turns out she found them in the freezer. She had been bring in the shopping and put the car keys in the freezer instead of the bread she had in the other hand.

My own 'moment' was one time when the dishwasher was a bit smelly so, rather than wait and buy some of the special dishwasher cleaning stuff, I just thought "I'll just squirt in some fairy washing up liquid and put on a quick wash".

20 minutes later, when I opened the dishwasher door only to be covered in bubbles.:o Spent the next hour cleaning up the 3inches of bubbles all over the kitchen floor. How was I to know that would happen but when I told my mates they all knew what was coming. And I'm normally quite well domesticated.:cool:

Pighead

Pighead was at a dinner party with some posh people who he hardly knew a few years back and he had the Mother and Father of blonde moments.

Whilst sipping our wine and we started asking about each others professions as way of conversation. Being a part time burger flipper in Supermacs, Pighead cunningly decided to bend the truth slightly and upgrade his position.

"So what do you do for a living Pighead"? Knowing that the posh chick who organised the dinner party was a great fan of footwear, Pighead went for the killer line "Working for one of the world leading scatology firms at the moment, what Pighead doesn't know about scatology isn't worth knowing".

Cue silence and embarrassment and general shunning for the rest of the evening. That was the last ever time Pighead mixed up the words scatology and scarpology. Rotten mistake to make.

Pighead was shown up as a true sciolist that day.

Lockstep

MYOB wrote: »

Right, so did you have as many people mangle our shared first name as I got in school in Manchester?

Oh yes,
Ceegan,Keegan,Sean,Sian,Cyan etc.

I had it all.

Worse was my sister (Caoimhe) who kept getting called Quimby.


WOrst of all was the poor boys named Connor. The french pronounciation (Connard) is French for asshole (literally ****-person)

L1011

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Oh yes,
Ceegan,Keegan,Sean,Sian,Cyan etc.

I had it all

I had a teacher who had to be told by letter than my name *wasn't* Sean. "Chan" was also fairly common, there were a lot of Italians in Manchester obviously. Weirdest one I got was "Liam".

To this day I've no idea how they got that. I think it must have been handwritten down on a class list or something...

Terry

I wnt to the pub one night to pick up a few cans.
I only had €10 on me and my local charges €2.50 a can and €4.30 a pint.
I walked up to the bar and ordered four pints. Got a few funny looks from the bar man and walked over to talk to a friend while I waited for him to get the cans.

Then he gave me a shout and I walked over to see the four pints that I couldn't pay for.
I realised my mistake and explained I couldn't afford to pay for them.

Luckily enough it was my local and they were ok with it. They did take the piss the following few nights when I did go for pints though.

Davidius

I forgot to square d. That was a frustrating two minutes.