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16-01-2008 6:52pm#1
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StormWarrior wrote: »I was just wondering, do many male doctors and nurses usually deal with women giving birth?
There are a lot of male doctors, and I think you can only choose your doctor if you are going private (correct me if I'm wrong). As for mid-wives, they are mostly female, I only know of one and he works on the post natal ward and not the delivery ward.StormWarrior wrote: »Can the woman request to be attended to by female medics only?
Again, I doubt this would be possible unless you went private or it was for religous reasons. But these people are medical staff, they dont look on patients in a sexual way, so I really dont see the reason to ask for females only.StormWarrior wrote: »Also, some births I have seen on TV involved the mother being totally naked all the way through. Is this usual, and what is the normal state of dress for a labouring woman?
Most women that I'm aware of (including myself) wear a nightdress while labouring, but you can wear what you want.StormWarrior wrote: »What percentage of women choose not to have the baby's father in the room while they give birth?
Nobody would look upon you any differently if you choose not to have the father present, and I know of a few women who would prefer a female birthing partner, usually mother or sister, purely becuase they've been through it themselves. I have no idea of percentages, but it's definately a lot more popular to have the father present these days, gone are the days when the waiting room was full of dads pacing up and down and chain smoking
StormWarrior wrote: »Also, if you give birth in hospital will random people be going in and out of your room all the time, will you have to share the room, could people walk in by mistake who are not meant to be there?
AFAIK all Irish hospitals now have private labour rooms, although the room I was in could have been used for 2 women they said that it was only used if there was a severe emegency and all other rooms were in use.
The post natal wards on the other hand are totally over crowded.StormWarrior wrote: »I am just wondering if people take regard of the mother's dignity during labour.
You can plan the most dignified birth ever....I certainly did.....but when it comes to it all modesty flies out the window with that first strong contraction
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StormWarrior wrote: »Is pooing yourself during labour a likely event? How likely is it that you would tear or need to be cut, and how bad is that? How long must you be in labour before you can get an epidural, and does the epidural make it more likely that you tear?
Everyone doesn't poo during labour (or if I did nobody told me).
The whole tear or cut thing varies. I dont know the figures but I suspect the vast majority of first time mothers have one or the other. There is one consultant in Galway who does an episiotomy as routine for every first time mother. Others are as non interventionist as you want them to be and will only do an episiotomy if they need to use forceps or the suction thingy.
I was terrified of being cut but thankfully I wasn't.
I did tear but I didn't even feel it and had no bother with it afterwards.
I don't know about the epidural because I never had one.
The whole is fairly undignified when you think about it before and after the event but during you really couldn't care less 0 -
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StormWarrior wrote: »I was just wondering, do many male doctors and nurses usually deal with women giving birth? Can the woman request to be attended to by female medics only?
Also, some births I have seen on TV involved the mother being totally naked all the way through. Is this usual, and what is the normal state of dress for a labouring woman? What percentage of women choose not to have the baby's father in the room while they give birth? Also, if you give birth in hospital will random people be going in and out of your room all the time, will you have to share the room, could people walk in by mistake who are not meant to be there?
I am just wondering if people take regard of the mother's dignity during labour.
From my own personal experience, I dealt with female midwives and mostly male doctors throughout my pregnancy. There are male midwives out there, but very few. But there isn't any hard and fast rules that births can only be attended by female attendants - it is just far more likely that women will deliver your baby because midwives do the vast majority of all births in Ireland.
In Midwifery Led Units (of which there are only 2 in Ireland, located in Cavan and Drogheda), women can be fully naked for their entire labour and birth if they want to be. Midwifery Led Units are completely different to the traditional environment where you are moved from labour ward to delivery suite to post-natal. If you are in the MLU, you stay in the same room for your entire labour and birth, medical equipment is not out on display and the rooms are like hotel rooms, with birthing pools, bean bags etc. It is hoped that MLU's will be rolled out on a nationwide basis in the coming years, but it will be a slow process.
I think the vast majority of fathers are present at their childrens birth - would be hard to find national statistics on this though.
You will birth your baby in a delivery suite, and you will be the only person in there. No one will walk in by mistake - all labour wards keep up-to-date records of who is in what room and what stage they are at to stop this sort of thing from happening. The dignity of a labouring woman is generally respected - you hear horror stories sometimes, but IMO they are very rare and often exaggerated.StormWarrior wrote: »Is pooing yourself during labour a likely event? How likely is it that you would tear or need to be cut, and how bad is that? How long must you be in labour before you can get an epidural, and does the epidural make it more likely that you tear?
Pooing in labour is common, but when you are in the throes of labour, you really won't care. It is impossible to say what the likelyhood of a tear or a cut are - there are so many factors that would influence this. If you end up needing an assisted delivery (ventouse or forceps) you more than likely will be given an episiotomy. They heal well though if kept clean and are no more uncomfortable than a natural tear. Whether you tear or are cut, they will put in dissolvable stitches. It can be a little sore to sit down for a day or two, but they heal very quickly.
I don't know too much about epidurals, to be honest.. didn't have one and I think that policy regarding epidurals differs from one hospital to another. You are more likely to end up needing an assisted delivery (and therefore be cut) if you have an epidural, due to the fact that sometimes, epidural analgesia can impair the descent and rotation of the babys presenting part.StormWarrior wrote: »Would you be offended or upset if your wife did not want you in the room while she gave birth?
I asked my partner to leave the room when I had to deliver the placenta - for some reason, I was more grossed out by this than by him seeing me birth the baby.StormWarrior wrote: »also, if you request a home birth, are the hospital likely to agree and would you have to pay for that?
Home birth rates in Ireland are very low.. less than 1 per cent of births here per year takes place in the home. There are very few independent/domicilliary midwives working here. It is very hard for them to get insurance that isn't prohibitively expensive. There is a health board grant that you can get towards the cost of your home birth, but not all regional boards will give them out for some reason
See this site for more info : http://www.homebirth.ie/Shelli wrote:There are a lot of male doctors, and I think you can only choose your doctor if you are going private (correct me if I'm wrong).
I went public and I was offered either a male or a female consultant. I chose the female consultant - I saw her once throughout the whole pregnancy :rolleyes:Lizzykins wrote:No pooh at all since nature seems to clear everything out in the hours before baby comes.
That's grand if you go into labour by yourself - I didn't and had to be induced at 12 days overdue, so I never had that thing where your bowels open a lot just before labour is imminent. To this day, I don't know if I did poo, but I'm not bothered either way.0 -
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I felt a bit the same, StormWarrior.
I know what you mean by hospitals and the 'piece of meat' approach.
I also felt that I wouldn't have children and labour was a big part of that.
Didn't see how I could do it.
But then a friend had a c-section with a female consultant she saw privately.
I started to think I could manage that.
There was still no dignity involved, btw.
Not suggesting for a second that you think about a section.
Just saying if you can eliminate some of your fears and concerns (get a female consultant, for example) it can start to seem more manageable.
I would have missed out on something great otherwise
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Oh, and if you ever do decide to do it....remember to get yourself a decent bikini wax beforehand
I'd let mine slide around month seven and, boy, was I sorry.
If I'd known how many people would be having a look.
Yes, I know it sounds totally trivial but whatever makes you feel better on the day....
(Sorry if that's too much information for the men but it's no worse than the poo talk...)0 -
FakeRedHead wrote: »I felt a bit the same, StormWarrior.
I know what you mean by hospitals and the 'piece of meat' approach.
I also felt that I wouldn't have children and labour was a big part of that.
Didn't see how I could do it.
But then a friend had a c-section with a female consultant she saw privately.
I started to think I could manage that.
There was still no dignity involved, btw.
Not suggesting for a second that you think about a section.
Just saying if you can eliminate some of your fears and concerns (get a female consultant, for example) it can start to seem more manageable.
I would have missed out on something great otherwise.
Just wanted to add here...
Very few consultants in this country, whether you go public or private, will just give you a caesarean section unless there is a medical need for one. FakeRedHead, did your friend have a medical reason for hers? If not, she is the exception rather than the rule. I think its important that the OP knows she can't just choose a section for fear of labour.0 -
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Hi Stormwarrior. Sorry to hear you are having such worries so early in the day. And that treatment you recieve in the hospital is one of them. I also had a horrible experience in hospital, with a botched operation and very poor aftercare. I swore then I would never darken the door of a hospital unless I was dying.
And then, I got pregnant. If it helps to allay your fears any, I can tell you the manner in which I was treated both when pregnant and during labour, was impeccable. The staff were sympathetic to my fears, and really took care of me. The midwives attending when I had my babies were all totally professional. On the one occasion I had a male midwife attending, I was asked would it be ok (he was training and needed experience in different types of delivery).
Security was very tight, in the labour ward who entered and left was strictly monitored. You were allowed one birthing partner to attend with you at a time, and it can be anyone you want. Not neccesarily your partner. That isnt expected, as not all men can cope well, and you may have someone better suited.
Yes, you might poo. Or yell. Or look a bit untidy. But honestly no one there will care. They will have seen it all before, and you will never feel its any kind of problem. The staff are there to look after you, first and foremost, to make it as easy as possible to get through the birth. I always felt listened to and cared for, and while birthing cannot be described as dignified, I was never made to feel less than the most important person there.
The attitude to pain seems to be that they do whatever they can to reduce it for you, so try not to worry on that score. My mother gave me the best advice on that score, which was, 'no matter what happens, or what you are going through, remember this is just one day out of your whole life, and it will come to an end, and youll be there with your baby and it wont matter a bit.'
And in my case anyway, my wishes were paramount, if I wanted to stand on my head to give birth, they would have helped me.:)0 -
The attitude to pain seems to be that they do whatever they can to reduce it for you, so try not to worry on that score. My mother gave me the best advice on that score, which was, 'no matter what happens, or what you are going through, remember this is just one day out of your whole life, and it will come to an end, and youll be there with your baby and it wont matter a bit.'
I can relate to that completely - the pain is bad, there is no getting away from that, but it is the only pain in your life that will have a positive purpose. You'll never in your life experience pain that will result in such a wonderful creation.
Also, I found this to be true and I know a lot of Mothers would agree - you forget the pain!!! I don't remember what labour felt like, I remember it hurt and that I was gulping down gas and air like my life depended on it, but if you asked me to describe it, I couldn't. At the end, there is no pain, just pressure. Pushing doesn't hurt. I was in pain for 3 short hours though, but I don't think that I'd remember the pain any more than if I had been in labour for 48 hours. I know it hurt, but I don't remember HOW it hurt, IYKWIM.
If all women remembered the pain of childbirth clearly, everyone in the world would be an only child 0 -
Midwifery, as a profession, sees the whole process of conception, pregnancy, labour and delivery as a normal life event. You are not treated as though you are sick - you would be just a pregnant woman, perfectly healthy. Any midwife you are dealing with should be embracing this ethos and will not endeavour to treat you like a patient. Sometimes, there is a view that obstetrics view pregnancy as only normal in retrospect, and if you choose to go down the route of obstetrician led care, you may encounter situations where you may feel like a patient instead of a client (us student midwives never refer to women in our care as "patients" - they are always "women" or "clients"). Not all Obstetricians think like this though, to be fair to them. If you go public, you may not get a choice in which Consultant you are placed with.
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I think this is an unfair picture to paint, and can result in people being scared when the big shot obstetric consultant gets involved in their case.
People are people. Some are muppets, some are not. Most are nice.
When I was at med school, we had 3 years of obs+gyn lectures, where it was bet into us that pregnancy isn't an illness, and intervention is a last resort. Obstetricians aren't stupid. Having said that, they should respect your autonomy. If you are crippled with fear of labour and insist on a c-section, some consultants will do it. I've been at several of them.
I have been to countless deliveries in my time in neonates. I get a nice objective view, as I'm never involved in the delivery itself.
I have seen some obstetricians whos manner leaves a lot to be desired. I have seen many midwives bully labouring women, to the extent that I've complained to their seniors about it. I've seen an obstetrician say "quiet, I'm working here" when a woman was trying to vocalise her pain. I've seen a midwife say "If you don't start pushing, I'm going to cut you".
These people are ****, regardless of their profession. But they are in a minority.
If your labour is totally straightforward, you are unlikely to see a doc.
If you do need to see a doc, then you can ask for a female.
During the day, this is usually do-able. But out of hours, there are often only 2 obstetric doctors in a given hospital, so it may not be possible.
But bear in mind, the obstetrics registrar or whoever sees you is likely have examined thousands of women previously. Also, you should also have another woman in the room with you when it's happening.
"client" is my least favourite word in medicine
Most deliveries go really well. The happiest people you'll ever see are a set of parents after a delivery. I still sometimes get a lump in my troath when I see a new baby being born.
So, try not to worry about who's looking after you. To some extent, nature will dictate that. Bear in mind that everyone looking after you will be a professional.
But also be aware of your rights. I know it's difficult to stand up for yourself when you feel vulnerable. But if you don't like what's happening, tell somone you're not happy. Hospital staff are TERRIFIED of people who put in complaints. If you think your care is substandard, or you're not being treated with respect, tell somebody you're going to complain. I can almost guarantee things will change straight away. Having said that, I know it's easier said than done.
I'm rambling now. But just think of the number of babies born in this country every single day. The vast vast majority end up with a happy mum as the end result. So, try not to worry too much about it. Ask lots of questions when the time comes. And be assertive.0 -
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tallaght01 wrote: »I think this is an unfair picture to paint, and can result in people being scared when the big shot obstetric consultant gets involved in their case.
People are people. Some are muppets, some are not. Most are nice.
When I was at med school, we had 3 years of obs+gyn lectures, where it was bet into us that pregnancy isn't an illness, and intervention is a last resort. Obstetricians aren't stupid. Having said that, they should respect your autonomy. If you are crippled with fear of labour and insist on a c-section, some consultants will do it. I've been at several of them.
I have been to countless deliveries in my time in neonates. I get a nice objective view, as I'm never involved in the delivery itself.
I have seen some obstetricians whos manner leaves a lot to be desired. I have seen many midwives bully labouring women, to the extent that I've complained to their seniors about it. I've seen an obstetrician say "quiet, I'm working here" when a woman was trying to vocalise her pain. I've seen a midwife say "If you don't start pushing, I'm going to cut you".
These people are ****, regardless of their profession. But they are in a minority.
If your labour is totally straightforward, you are unlikely to see a doc.
If you do need to see a doc, then you can ask for a female.
During the day, this is usually do-able. But out of hours, there are often only 2 obstetric doctors in a given hospital, so it may not be possible.
But bear in mind, the obstetrics registrar or whoever sees you is likely have examined thousands of women previously. Also, you should also have another woman in the room with you when it's happening.
"client" is my least favourite word in medicine
Most deliveries go really well. The happiest people you'll ever see are a set of parents after a delivery. I still sometimes get a lump in my troath when I see a new baby being born.
So, try not to worry about who's looking after you. To some extent, nature will dictate that. Bear in mind that everyone looking after you will be a professional.
But also be aware of your rights. I know it's difficult to stand up for yourself when you feel vulnerable. But if you don't like what's happening, tell somone you're not happy. Hospital staff are TERRIFIED of people who put in complaints. If you think your care is substandard, or you're not being treated with respect, tell somebody you're going to complain. I can almost guarantee things will change straight away. Having said that, I know it's easier said than done.
I'm rambling now. But just think of the number of babies born in this country every single day. The vast vast majority end up with a happy mum as the end result. So, try not to worry too much about it. Ask lots of questions when the time comes. And be assertive.
Fair enough, tallaght01, I didn't really elaborate on what I said originally.. couldn't really as I was running out the door...
I agree that bad attitudes in healthcare are not defined by a job title - a midwife can be a bully or standoffish as much as a consultant can be, and it is for sure down to personal styles of care and an individuals personality.
I can only talk for my own experience (and I do concede that, perhaps my own current training as a midwife leaves me with something of a bias) but when I was pregnant, I found the consultants and registrars very, very standoffish and hard to talk to. I found the midwives much easier to approach. I can remember so clearly... I was at term, in fact I think I was 40+2, and the consultant came out to the waiting room, called my name and said nice and loud (without even looking at me) "Ok, come in here and we'll do a vaginal on you." I went scarlet, a lot of the other less pregnant women grimaced etc... I know that no one else saw the VE and subsequent membrane sweep, but everyone in the waiting room knew that and I felt so uncomfortable having to go and sit back down in the waiting room afterwards. I think though that that was that particular consultants poor people skills - women I've heard from who have had dealings with him have had similar complaints about his bedside manner. I'd agree that some people are just ****, no matter what their profession, but I would also agree with you when you say that the vast majority of people working in Obstetrics/Gynae and Midwifery are professionals who do their jobs fantastically.
The one and only time I saw the consultant whose care I was under was after I had my baby - she came in, glanced at her in the cot, asked "Everything went well then?" and left once I'd said "Yes". This is sadly the general experience for a lot of women who go public, but as you said, if your pregnancy and labour are uncomplicated and normal, you are unlikely to see a doctor (and IMO there's no need to if everything is normal).
LOL - on the "clients" thing - we only use that word because we're not just caring for the women, but their partners too and I'm sure some men would be a bit put out of we went around calling them "women" - we don't, under any circumstances call them patients though - having that drummed into us in college 0 -
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